Ramblings

I was not going to post tonight.

Well I was, and then I did not feel like it, ( I have been up almost 31 hours straight now ) and then decided it would help me somehow. Help me to what, I do not know, but here I am lol.

Don't mind me, my brain went to bed hours ago.

It has been a fairly uneventful weekend. Had take out Friday night, it is the one night a week I don't usually cook.  Slept during the day Saturday and have been up ever since. We watched the race today, Jimmie Johnson won...bleh. I was hoping Kenseth would get it. Joey Legano flipped his car about 8 times, causing my heart to stop and me to jump off the couch screaming "NOOO!!!"...he is a rookie, and only 19...just a baby. Scared the hell out of him, but he was unhurt. Thanks Gods. Now one of two things will happen: either he will be scared of his car for the rest of his possibly short career, or, since he has been through every racer's worst nightmare...a wreck...then he will be much more confident since now he knows what that " Oh shit" fear feels like. I hope now he drives his car till the damn wheels fall off.  Suck it up Joey, you can doooo eeeeeet!

Side note to anyone who watches Nascar year round....I miss Waltrip and Hammond commentating. I need my " Boogity Boogity Boogity, Lets Go Racin' Boys!!!" to feel complete on Sundays lol. Hooray for February when the new season on Fox starts and I get my guys back!

 Jeff Hammond + skin tight jeans = Yum. 

I made a huge pot of black eyed peas in the crock pot...started them about 5 a.m. and they were great. Jack made BBQ out of the leftover ham we had last night, and omg it was so good.

After that I have been sitting here catching up on blogs and trying not to face plant my keyboard. Alex is still awake since she slept late today. She is having growing pains in her legs so her sleep is fitful.

I am so stoked about this week. Starting Tuesday the temps are gonna fall for a few days. Barely reaching 80 for the highs and down in the low to mid 50's for the nights, and I can't WAIT. I am so ready to have the windows open to get the stale energy out of here. My mind and body have been gearing up for the weather change....I feel close to what I imagine a butterfly feels like the few days before it emerges from it's cocoon.

Anticipatory.

I already have the changing the house around ideas forming that will drive Jack nuts lol. I can feel the internal shift that usually happens when the temps start dropping, and even though it will probably be short lived, only a few days, it is enough to tide me over, and to ease some of the ache of waiting for my beloved Winter.

Hope you all had a good weekend!

*Music of the Moment: Into The Mystic by Van Morrison*

Blog Award!!!

After a very long night and half a day of being awake so I could tackle the housecleaning monster, I took a two hour nap, and when I came back I read all the wonderful comments on my last post, and I saw one from Jupiter Greenmoone and she told me that she nominated me for a blog award!!!

My First Ever Blog Award!!!!

Thank you SO much Jupiter, this really made my day.  It has just been the day for good things to happen so far :)

Ok, here are the award rules:

1.) Thank the person who gave this to you.
2.) Copy the logo and place it in your blog.
3.) Link the person who nominated you.
4.) Name 7 things about yourself that no one would really know.
5.) Nominate seven 'Kreativ Bloggers.'
6.) Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.
7.) Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them.




Seven (More) things about me:


1.) I have three kids. My oldest daughter is almost 13, my son just turned 11, and my baby girl will be 5 in less than a month.  I had a really tough time as a teen, got married at 16, pregnant 3 months later, and split up when my oldest was 2 months old. Being a kid still who had no job and no clue how to take care of myself, my parents took my daughter in so she would have everything she needed. I had my son 18 months later, and had him until he was 5, when another really bad relationship found me with nothing again, and they took him in as well. There is a lot more history there, with some not so nice things done to me in the middle, but that is the sweet readers digest version of it. My youngest daughter lives with me and her father. He is the only one that stuck around to be with me and help raise his child. I see the kids often, they live less than 10 minutes away from me.


2.) People tend to judge me for the above information, until they hear all the horror stories, and I am ok with that. The only thing that matters is that my kids have everything they need, and are well taken care of, and they have a relationship with me and we love each other. If no on else ever understands our situation, that is ok.


3.) I have a zillion things I want to write about at any given time, but my mind works so fast I have a hard time slowing it down enough to get all the posts out lol.


4.) I  am a music and music trivia junkie. I know more useless info on music over the last 50 years ( 50 years of music that is, I am only 30 ) than I know what to do with. It also means I am the person people go to when they have 3 words to the lyrics of a song and they need title and artist lol.


5.) I am also a movie junkie, and have been known to have entire conversations using quotes from movies lol.


6.) I am double jointed in my elbows..which is essentially useless lol. But it does gross my kids out heh heh.


7.) I am more content and happy than I have been in my whole life. Considering my life...that is one of the most epic things I could possibly say.


Now I get the very hard part of trying to narrow the field down to only 7 bloggers, because I love and adore every blog I follow, and all the people I have met in the blogosphere. If I did not get you this time, please do not think I do not love your blogs, and I will get you next time! I also did not name anyone in Jupiter's Post  or  Boo's Post in the spirit of no repeats right away. So here are 7 of the blogs I love to read and I think deserve the award!


1.) A Racing Mind
2.) Eco Yogini
3.) Girlichef
4.) Raydens Rants
5.) From Clutter to Shine
6.) Octoberfarm
7.) The Secret Diary of a Mountain Witch


There you have it. It has taken me two hours of deliberation with myself to pick these 7 wonderful people, so if you have not yet checked them out, please do so. They are ALL wonderful in their own unique ways and I think you will enjoy what you find!


Thank you again to Jupiter, this has made me feel SO awesome!


*Music of the Moment: He Wasn't Man Enough For Me by Toni Braxton*

20 Random Things About Me....

1. I am a natural redhead.
2. I am left handed.
3. Until Jack, I had a three year relationship curse. None lasted past the third year. Now I am working on year 6 :)
4. After a horrible car wreck at 15, I flat lined 5 times, the last time causing them to start to call my time of death when I came back.
5. I am terrified of clowns.
6. I have a lotion obsession. I apply lotion to my hands and feet a zillion times a day and there is lotion in every room of my house, as well as the glove boxes of our trucks.
7. I despise talking on the phone, and avoid it like the plague.
8. I am addicted to the internet.
9. I have 2 tattoos, and want almost a dozen more.
10. I hate all body piercings except the tongue.
11.  I am a horrible pack rat.
12. I am over-analytical. ( Is that worded correctly? I think things to death...there. Lol.)
13. My oldest two children do not live with me. They live with my parents about 10 minutes down the road.
14. It took every ounce of courage I had in me to write number 13.
15. I am bi.
16. I hate to sleep, but once I go to sleep, I hate to have to get up lol.
17. All my friends live no less than one hour away from me. Most live 2 or more hours away.
18. I wish I had access to a sensory deprivation tank whenever I wanted.
19. And a hot tub.
20.Today I wish I lived in Colorado...because I would be playing in the SNOW!!!


*Music of the Moment: The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars*

The Bloggest Loser

While I was perusing blogs today, I came across a post over at Crazy Squirrel Lady, and after I checked it out I wanted to share with you. I am sure most of us have heard of "The Biggest Loser", and this blog brings together bloggers and readers alike to form a support community!

I do not know about any of you, but I spend 90% of my time in front of the computer, so weight has really become an issue with me since I left work  2 years ago. I am comfortable with me now, but I do want to be healthier ( hence me stopping smoking ) and if I lose weight, hey, I do not mind!

So please, check out Hyla and Kris and join in! I think we can all use all the support we can get!!

Check them out at: Bloggest Loser  

New look....again!!

So I updated my look again, the other layout, while cute, was very restricting and started doing weird things, so I said to hell with it and went to find something new.

I really love this look, and make sure you scroll down to the bottom to see all the cute little things down there! What I like about this one is that is fits the colors and images for Halloween, yet it is not locked into a Halloween ONLY theme...meaning I can use it all the time...or until I get bored with it...which happens often.

Yes, I rearrange the stuff in my house all the time, if it tells you anything lol.

SO check me out and let me know what you think!

*Music of the Moment: Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo*

The Dark Of The Moon

The Dark Of The Moon -- A Natural Time Of Magic And Creation

The Dark of the Moon is considered an especially mysterious, fruitful, and
flexible time of "molding" the creative experiences that will come forth in the
weeks immediately ahead. It is said that wishes made as the last sliver of the
Moon's light fades on the left, and affirmed through the Dark of the Moon period
until the first sliver of new light appears again on the right, have special
support -- special empowerment -- to come true. Affirming them again at the
moment of the New Moon itself gives extra push to their nourishment and
initiative.

The Dark of the Moon is time of legendary power for creation. The Dark of the
Moon is always best used to rest, recuperate, become quiet, invite calm and
serenity into your world, and spend some time in personal reflection looking
back over your life and personal history -- as far as you want to go into the
past -- and playing with new intentions, new desires, new directions. It's a
time to stay "at home" -- both physically and psychologically -- and tend to
your private world and its circumstances.

Create the conditions that will replenish your spirit ... and indulge them
fully, whether this means meditation, reading, contemplation, cleaning, clearing
away emotional and psychological debris that hinders you, listening to music,
writing in your personal journal, talking quietly with intimate, trusted
associates, listening to the whispered words of your deepest intuitions, working
on personal healing therapies and rituals ... or some combination of all these
things.

Play with ideas and think of things you might like to create over the next
several weeks, realizing this is a time to brainstorm, daydream, and fantasize,
not a time to take action. All things begin in mind. Everything in the world
originated in the nebulous intellectual energy of an idea, a dream, a desire. To
work with the especially potent energy available during the Dark of the Moon,
plan for some serious personal down-time every month starting about 2 1/2 days
before each New Moon ... and lasting for 1 - 1 1/2 days after ... and focus your
inner work, thoughts, and attention on the matters I just described.

This automatic "natural" 4 day vacation can help bring fabulous results --
emotionally, psychologically, physically, spiritually and even financially to
your life. It's easy to find information about the New Moon every month ... by
searching online, certainly, but many calendars (and certainly all astrological
calendars!!) have this information clearly marked in the appropriate day / date
box. The Dark of the Moon days that surround the New Moon's arrival each month
are the time to set new intentions and plans into motion in your life ... in the
realm of thought where all creation happens.

You can learn lots more about working with Moon energy on our website ... and
get plenty of Moon energy information and tactics delivered right to your inbox
by joining our Premium Members website. However you choose to do it, learning to
work in flow with the natural progression of energy marked by the phases of the
Moon could be one of the most productive things you do for your life and your
success ... ever!! And one of the easiest to use, too!
----
(c) 2007 Rebecca Brents, All rights reserved.


Will any of you be doing anything for the New Moon?

~*~MABON ORANGE-GLAZED SWEET POTATOES~*~

When I was a kid, I hated sweet potatoes. I mean I hated them! Mom tried to fix them every way she could think of, and my taste buds just would not play along! When I was 12 or 13, we used to go over to the neighbors house for dinner at least once a month ( they loved to entertain ) and one of the things they made was a baked sweet potato that was wrapped in bacon. Well I was required to take at least one bite of something before I could say " I do not like this" and not have to eat it. Well one evening we were eating at said neighbors house, and the bacon wrapped sweet potatoes were on the menu. My Mom put one on her plate and dressed it up with butter and a little salt and pepper and asked me to take a bite, saying it tasted really good and different. I curled my nose up but took a bite, and omg was it good! I think I ate two of them that night lol. From then on I have LOVED sweet potatoes just about any way you can cook them! Who knew a piece of bacon could be such a catalyst lol...

Anywhere, here is a yummy Mabon Sweet Potato recipe I came across and wanted to share. Enjoy!

~*~MABON ORANGE-GLAZED SWEET POTATOES~*~ Serves about 6 6 medium sweet potatoes 3/4 cup boiling water 1 teaspoon salt 3 tablespoons butter or margarine 1/2 tablespoon grated orange zest 1 tablespoon orange juice 3/4 cup corn syrup 1/4 cup brown sugar, firmly packed 4 orange slices, cut in half Peel and halve sweet potatoes, place in a covered skillet. Add boiling water and salt. Simmer until tender; about 15 minutes. Drain off liquid, leaving about 1/4 cup in skillet. Dot potatoes with butter. Combine remaining ingredients and add to skillet. Cook uncovered over low heat until glazed, about 15 minutes. Baste frequently, turning potatoes once.

One Word Wednesday

                                            Tranquility

Bringing Autumn Magic In

'Bringing Autumn Magic In'

~adapted from Witch in the Kitchen,

By Cait Johnson (Inner Traditions, 2001).

There's nothing more luscious than inviting nature indoors in the Fall: the brilliant colors of Autumn make our homes feel deliciously

warm and cozy as the weather turns cooler. Changing leaves, swags of grapevine, and vibrantly-colored apples and squashes make gorgeous, inexpensive decorations.

Find out how to connect with the abundant bounty and beauty of this harvest season with these fun, easy tips for decorating with nature:

1. Preserve some colorful leaves. You can iron them between sheets of waxed paper, microwave them for a few seconds, put them in a solution of glycerin, or press them between the pages of a heavy book. Then you can apply them to backsplashes, place them artfully in a vase, mound them around a pile of gourds or squashes, or even use them as coasters for your favorite beverages.

2. Food is art. Find a local Farmer's Market or roadside stand and load up on apples, pears, pumpkins, decorative squashes, nuts, gourds, and Native American corn. A simple wooden bowl loaded with these treasures makes an abundant centerpiece. You can parade them in

a line on a mantel-piece or pile them in a basket. What you don't eat, you can enjoy looking at.

3. Other treasures. Bring in grapevines to twine along the countertops, or make wreaths for doors or cabinets. If you live in an area where bittersweet is not a protected plant, harvest some to put in an earthen vase. Corn shocks are traditional to stand beside a door, but broom corn makes a beautiful and less usual alternative with it's graceful russet fronds.

4. Beeswax candles. The amber color and honey-sweet aroma of these safe, all-natural candles just evoke the golden glow of autumn. As the days get shorter, it can be a soothing ritual to burn a beeswax candle at dusk.

5. Echo Fall colors. Bring in the Autumn hues of russet-red, vibrant shades of orange, deep greens, mellow golds, wine-reds, and vivid

scarlet with cushions, towels, scatter-rugs, or other decorative accents. My family has a brightly-colored autumn leaf potholder and a

set of pumpkin-shaped mugs that we use with pleasure year after year. Find the simple treasures your family will enjoy.

6. Try this creative and relaxing Leaf Meditation. Find a perfect autumn leaf and spend some time really looking at it, noticing the variations in color and shape. Trace its outline on a piece of paper, then try your hand at coloring it in with colored pencils, markers,

or paints. Slowing down and taking time to savor the beauty of something as simple and commonplace as a leaf opens our eyes and

hearts to nature's magical variety. You may want to cut your colored leaf out and glue it on the cover of a journal to keep you company

throughout the autumn months. Or do several leaves to decorate your cabinets or walls!

7. Think water. Western European traditions often associate Autumn with the element of water, since it is a time of deep feeling and

flowing away: birds migrate, trees shed their leaves. Honor this ancient idea with a bowl of water in a special place. Notice how water evaporates. As you refill your bowl throughout the autumn months, give a little thought to your own feelings, and the things that you are in the process of releasing from your life.

Coffee+Cinnamon= Money Spell!!

Times are tough all over these days. The economy is in shambles, the Holidays are fast approaching, and I thought we could all use a little money magic spell, courtesy of Kristin Madden.

Cinnamon Coffee Money Spell

Brew a special blend this morning and attract abundant money to you all day long. In an electric coffee maker, fill the filter with your usual amount of favorite ground coffee. Then add a touch of cinnamon, about a quarter teaspoon per cup. Smell deeply of the mix and allow the delicious aroma to fill your senses. Now whisper this charm over your brew as it percolates:

Coffee dark and Coffee rich,
Bless this humble Kitchen Witch.
Cinnamon, sweet wood from across the sea,
Bring free and abundant money to me.

Turn on the coffee maker and get ready for your day. As the heat releases the flavors, it fills the water with your intent. The steam carries this energy to the God and Goddess and, as you drink, your energy field attunes to the manifestation of this spell.

By Kristin Madden
2007 Spell-A-Day
2007-07-26

 

 

 

*Music of the Moment: Fuel by Metallica*

Ok Universe, I get it.....

Hello guys and gals. I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend. It has been a very very rainy one for me, but that is ok, we needed it and it kept things cool today. It also gave me a lot of time to reflect upon some very obvious signs the Universe has been hitting me over the head with.


For the last few weeks I have been trying to mentally and emotionally heal from the passing of 2 family members, being sick, quitting smoking, and some parental strife (between my parents, not Jack and myself lol). I have been longing for Fall so much it almost hurts. Fall and Winter are when I come alive. The colder it is, the happier I am, the more energy I am filled with...this Summer....hell, this whole YEAR... has been a tough one...and I am over it...ready for the next phase.

Many people "Spring Clean" every year. I "Fall Clean" instead. As the temps tease me by getting into the mid to low 60's a couple of nights a week, my thoughts have turned inward again, as they do this time of year, when I start planning my mental lists of things I want to get done. A huge part of that every year is trying to de-clutter my house. I see articles about it everywhere, I see things that remind me of the projects I want to get done, and then I find this post over at The Domestic Witch, and it really made me stop and think.

This year I have so much more to get rid of than the usual accumulation of crap hanging around. I have a lot of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual clutter to get rid of. A lot has happened over the last year, some good, and a lot of it bad, but all of it has left me cluttered up inside. Things happened so fast I had no time to process one thing before the next one happened. So instead of trying to work through it at all, I just kept pushing it down deeper and deeper inside of me, adding more and more on top of it month by month, until finally I felt like I was literally up to my eyebrows with internal garbage. I tried to finally start working through everything, and I found that I was unable to. I was numb. Totally devoid of emotions other than apathy. I could not seem to care about anything. I did not want to talk to anyone, email anyone, chat with anyone. It took Herculean effort to answer even the shortest of emails. I started avoiding everyone, I just could not deal with one more thing, no more drama, from my side or from anyone else either.I was/am tired of hearing it. I had nothing left to give.

The same day that I read that post from The Domestic Witch ( Not to be confused with Domestic Witch lol ) both my husband and my best friend asked me when they could have the old me back. This really shook me up, and I ended up spilling my guts to my best friend and bawled my eyes out. I felt a little better afterwords, and it gave me enough release so I could think about what was wrong and how could I fix it.

The answer is, as the one woman said during the banishing scene in Practical Magic: "Let's clean house!"

Not just my physical house, although it needs it too, ( and I was working on that at 2 a.m. this morning lol ) but my mind, heart, and spirit. I have felt so lifeless and apathetic about everything in my life, moving  through my day in a fog, not really focusing on anything. I have not felt like anything was magical in my life, or took steps to create magic in my life, in SO long. I do not like the person I had become, and as the energy I feel this time of year starts to slowly ( achingly slow!) fill me up, it is time to let go of all that has been building up inside of me, choking me of life.

I took steps to start that process over the last 24 hours. I spent time last night after everyone was in bed cleaning. Dusting, running the vac, sweeping and mopping, dishes, deep cleaning the stove, cleaning the glass and  bric-a-brac  we have, and I cleaned and refreshed my living room altar for the first time in ages.

Today was my 11 year old son's birthday party, which was nice, and all the kids stayed at Mom's so Jack and I got a very rare chance to be alone. We left there and went to the flea market (We got some squash and zucchini, 4 books, and I replenished my Nag Champa and Egyptian Musk incense) and then we went grocery shopping together (which hardly EVER happens) and really got a chance to reconnect with each other. Later as we were watching the race, he even got up in the middle and whipped up some fresh egg salad and we ate it on crackers lol. It was a nice evening, and long over due.

So in conclusion, I am about to start the de-cluttering of my life phase, and it might be a little rough at times. There is some pretty heavy stuff I need to let go of, and part of me is very afraid to do so, because once I let it go, I am scared that I will forget...and that a part of me will somehow be missing. I know that is not actually the case, but it is still a formidable thing to face...

Skeletons in the closet, Demons of the soul, Monsters under the bed...joy, love, hope, pain, agony, defeat, anger....all being reflected through my eyes back to me as I stare in the mirror....

Have you looked at what lies in the space behind your eyes today?


*Music of the Moment: Southern Cross ( Jimmy Buffet version)*

Still alive....

Just a quick note to let everyone know I am alive, just a lot been going on this week!

Tomorrow ( or rather, 8 hours from now ) we are having my sons 11th b-day party, and then tomorrow night is the race ( Nascar ) but there WILL be a blog...a real blog post, tomorrow. Might be before the race, might be after, not sure yet.

So do not give up on me, I am still here, and will be back on schedule yay!!

Hugs and kisses!

*Music of the Moment: Running Out of Days by 3 Doors Down*

One Word Wednesday

LONGING     

       

From Hero to Zero

A few days ago I wrote this post about how disappointed I was in a few of my "Literary Heroes". I am not going to name names, because I do not want to influence any one else's opinion on them.

A few of the commenter's on the last post asked me if it was a pagan writer than I was speaking of, and in two of the cases the answer is yes. The one that bothers me the most, and who inspired that last post, was someone who I really looked up to. Her life played out a lot like mine. She was Wiccan, and later decided that it was not the right path for her, so she became an Eclectic Witch, like myself. She is a not fat but fluffy gal, like me lol. The first book I read that was written from her really hooked me. It was a self-help book of sorts, and it dealt with body image with a Pagan mentality. She was funny and sarcastic and wrote in the same style I usually write in. She was  raped at a pagan festival, and this changed her whole outlook on life, and her body image and many other things. While mine was not at a festival, I was raped as well by two people I trusted, one was one of my oldest friend's father, and the other person was someone I had trusted for many years. She was in her early 20's, I was only 14. But like her, it changed my entire outlook on life. I have never been able to trust a man fully until I met my current husband, and it has taken him years to get to that point.

This author wrote some of the most inspiring words I have ever read. When I got through with the book, it was all I could think about for weeks. It brought such a positive change to my life, and she became an instant hero to me. Hero because she had been through what she had, the attack, the doubts, the fears, the crippling self image...and she had managed to overcome...or so I thought.

I looked up every bit of info I could find on her, and she is the one who even got me into the idea of writing a blog, because hers were so raw and wonderful. ( Obsessive much? Lol. But no one realizes just how much of an impact she had on my life..) I then became one of the people she allowed into her private blog...the uncensored, unedited, non politically correct journal. I was ECSTATIC! Everything was great at first, (other than I was a bit miffed that direct messages to her  go unanswered. Considering the small number of people that are on that personal blog, it is just rude to not address anyone who takes the time to comment, but maybe that is just me...after the second time she did not respond, and I saw that she seldom responded to anyone, yet posted 5 and 6 times a day, I just read from that point on) I got to see her in "real life" so to speak...and then I started reading her back entries.

Wow.

I saw very quickly it was all fake. She had not come out the other side, on top and taking charge of her life. She was the total opposite! She is an emotional wreck, larger than ever, hating herself while preaching about loving herself. At first some of the entries made me cry, because some are so sad and heart wrenching, and because I have felt that same way. But as she posted more and more, I began to get angry. One of her blogs is her path to being a Vegan, and it is full of really great info, funny stories, and links to various places she likes to read and draws inspiration from. Fake. I get to read about the cheese and ice cream and meat and egg binges. Sitting in bed or on the couch on weekends stuffing her face with all the things she supposedly does not eat, and then runs around in a flurry cleaning up the evidence, and getting rid of it, even though she lives alone.

Now she is saying she is not sure if she is even Pagan anymore. She is unsure of what she is. It makes me so. damn. angry. and I feel betrayed. Then I feel guilty because she did let me into her "inner sanctum" of sorts, and here I am talking about it, but it tears me up that this person, who has written some of the most awesome things I have ever read, who is so uplifting and REAL..is really just an emotional cripple. At first it made me respect her a tad bit more, because I was like " Wow, she is real just like me" but the more I read, the more I saw that it was just a lie....it made my whole foundation of self shake, and that made me very angry.

Angry because there are so many out there who I know have gotten something special from that book in particular, and from her others I am sure ( and yes I know that some will say " Well as long as you got something out of it, then all was not lost, which is true BUT: ) but it pisses me off when it is all a lie. Something I value above most other things is honestly and directness. If she had been upfront about it for the world to see, then it would have affected me differently. I know some may argue that it was to hard and personal to put out there, but if you can tell the world that you were raped and the things you have dealt with since then ( some were major ) then I fail to see how revealing that you still had moments where you backslid would be so hard to share. The fact that you back slide would help some who can relate and not feel like shit when they are upset and inhale a pint of Ben and Jerry's or something. But that was not the case. The image of " I beat this totally and you can too!" is what was portrayed, and that image is tarnished now.

One of the others is a case of " I woke up today and decided Paganism is evil" and I almost had a stroke I was so pissed off. This from one of the " In your face" types of Pagan authors. The other two were just people who turned out to be deplorable for a myriad of reasons, but none of them affected me in the way the first woman did. I know some will say I am over reacting, and I might be...but this person changed my life in a very good way...and other people as well...and now it just feels like a big lie, and I am so let down and disappointed.

She is still the funny, witty, and hilariously sarcastic writer she always was...but now I know the other side...and it sucks.

*Music of the Moment: Stolen Prayer by Alice Cooper*

New Look!!!

Just a quick note to say that I updated my blog for the upcoming Samhain/Halloween holiday...even though I told myself I was not sure about it...but I finally did it anyway, and while I am not usually a fan of 2 column layouts, I think this one rocks!

PLUS, she is redheaded and green eyed..like me!!

Let me know what you think!!

*Music of the Moment: Bye Bye Beautiful by Nightwish*

Howl at the Moon

*Update 9/4/2009 Apparently this is NOT the Harvest moon, it is The Corn, Fruit or Barley Moon. I was not aware of this, but The Domestic Witch did! Thanks to her and be sure to check out her great blog!

Side Note: Does anyone else get confused between Domestic Witch and THE Domestic Witch sometimes, or is it just me lol..?*

***************************************************************************

Hi everyone. I know it has been a couple of days, but I am in the process of recharging myself...it has been a pretty rough couple of months ( I lost an uncle and aunt, combined with two horrible illnesses myself, on top of quitting smoking...*this past Sunday made 2 months yay* ) and I have not felt like myself.

I am trying desperately to get back to "me".

One of my recent posts talked about my literary heroes, and the comments asked me to elaborate, and I just want you all to know that I will, soon, but it is a post I need to think about..it has to be worded carefully, because it is hard to explain just why it bothers me so much. Stay tuned for that, probably to be posted tomorrow sometime.

Tonight is the full moon, Harvest Moon I think it is called, and it is not raining for the first time in almost 2 weeks, and it shines brightly through the forest around the house...and it is so peaceful. I stood outside on the back steps and let her light wash over me, but then the palmetto bugs realized I was there, and the mosquitoes, and our feral pet opossum "Ozzie" was waiting at the edge of the yard for me to go away so he could eat the dinner scraps I feed him..or her..so I came back inside.

Soon the cold temps of late Fall and Winter will be here, and my spirit will be refreshed once more.

Not to mention I can stand outside and not be carried away by various varmints lol..

So stay tuned, there is more to come later, promise!!

*Music of the Moment: Bark at the Moon by Ozzy Osbourne*

Birthday Giveaway at Rue and Hyssop!!

It is time for another giveaway yay!  Rue, over at Rue and Hyssop is having a giveaway in celebration of her birthday, and she is giving away goodies to not one but THREE people!!!

How awesome is THAT???

She is giving gifts from the store she does book keeping for, and they are a gourmet food and gift shop, so you know that it will be a most excellent giveaway!

 

So head on over and check it out and be sure to stay awhile and check out all her other great posts. 

She also has a brand new button, so all you button exchange partners be sure and snag it and spread the love!!

Really Disappointing...

Why is it that several people I look up to in the literary community and elsewhere are...well I do not know what word to use. I do not want to say fraud because at one time they really did feel/believe/act the way they wrote about. I do not want to say hypocrite because you can not help it if your way of looking at things, and your way of feeling changes. I do not want to say fake, because some of these people are as raw and gritty and real as they come. But GODS....why is it such a huge freaking LET DOWN??? There is an old song from Phil Collins called " Why doesn't anybody stay together anymore.." but in my case it should be : "Why doesn't anybody stay the course anymore" I know I should not be upset over it...it is their life and their choices...but it makes me feel lost for some reason, and I am not sure why. Maybe because my "everyday heroes" are not so 'hereoesque' anymore. Maybe it would be easier if it were just ONE of my literary heroes, but NO, it has to be three and four at a time. Universal identity crisis? Who the fuck knows? Oh well, I will get over it. In the meantime, I hope their new path...or lack of a path...( is that still a path? ) makes them happy and filled with whatever creamy intergalactic goodness they need from this go round....