I finally got enough questions to fill a post for the brand new Ask Me Anything segment! It took a while, but thanks to your questions on the Fan Page and via fan page email and blog email, I can now get this thing kicked off!
Hopefully once everyone reads this first set of questions, others might be more comfortable asking their own questions.
Okay, here we go!
From the fan page:
First up is this question from Stephanie S:
What is your favorite Pagan Holiday? Why?
Up until last year, Yule was my favorite Pagan Holiday. I used to love the Winter, and everything that comes with it. Cold, crystal clear skies...bright pinpoints of light scattered across the sky like diamonds on a black velvet cloth.
These days I get cold very easily, and while I still love a lot about the Winter months, I am not a big fan of the super cold temps. My new favorite Pagan Holiday is Samhain. The weather is cool, but not freezing, it gets darker early, all the fun decorations come out, and all of that good stuff. Another very important reason that Samhain is my new favorite is because I am a part of the Samhain's Sirens! If you missed it last year, click that link and check out all of the fun we had last year, our launch year. This year is set to be even better, and I am really excited to be involved in the planning for our second year of Samhain fun!
Lisa M. asks: What is your favorite part of your body? ( Physical part, smarts don't count! )
Hmmmm. I guess I would have to go with my boobs. What can I say, I have a nice rack! Lol!
Stephanie asks: What kind of music do you like? Who is your favorite band or musician, and why?
Gah. This one is like asking me to pick my favorite child. Impossible lol. I used to keep up with all the current musical trends, but rock has always been my favorite. About three years ago, I stopped trying to keep up with the current trends when I realized I was having a hard time differentiating between bands. They all sounded the same, they all looked the same. Cookie cutter alternative rock. Bleh. I decided to become one of the un-cool kids ( or really cool, depending on how you look at it lol ) and stuck to my classic rock, 80's, 90's and 2000's decades. Anything past 2008 or so and the only way I have heard of it is if one of my kids is playing something, or if I see someone post a video. I listen to a lot of commercials ( LISTEN...not WATCH ) because I have discovered some awesome songs that they use as background music.
As far as ONE favorite band or musician? Like I said, impossible. I love a lot of stuff, from Fleetwood Mac, to Lil' Wayne to Johnny Cash and back. Music is the soundtrack to my life, and I have a huge playlist!
Lisa asks: What is your favorite number, and why?
My favorite number is 13, but that was mostly because the number 13 has such stigma and superstitions attached to it. I tend to embrace the taboo things...the misfit and sometimes outcast things.
Having said that, the number 15 is a very prominent number in my life. I was 15 when my entire life changed. My parents anniversary is on the 15th of a month. Jack's and Alex's birthdays are on the 15th, my father-in-law's birthday is on the 15th. ( The same exact date as my parents anniversary actually lol. ) So I have to say that 15 is also a favorite number.
Lisa asks: What is your favorite color(s), and is it the same color as when you were a kid?
My favorite color is Sapphire Blue, and I have to say yes, it is the same as when I was a kid. Now of course as a very small child I went through the stages of having several favorite colors per week lol. As I got older, I started gravitating towards darker colors like Vermilion, Sapphire Blue, Black, Royal Purple. I still love all of those colors, but Sapphire Blue is still my number one. My bedroom walls are painted Sapphire Blue, with silver glitter mixed in!
Linda W. asks: Forgive me if this is too forward, but you DID say we could ask you anything. As a long time follower of your blog, I have read about the situation with your two oldest children, and the fact they live with your parents. My question is; have you ever had to deal with being judged ( fairly or unfairly ) because some of your children do not live with you? How do you cope?
Wow. Excellent question Linda, and thank you for being a long time follower! The truth is, I have been terribly judged, both unfairly and at times fairly. Mostly unfairly though. Strangers tend to think the worst, that I was to selfish and stupid and did not care about the kids. Some think that if you do not have your children with you, then you are scum, no matter the situation. Then there are those who believe my parents version of the truth ( which is mostly untrue and colored by their personal opinion of me at the time, and the fact they would not want anyone to know they bullied me into it and used scare tactics ) and then there is my truth, which is of course what happened colored by MY personal opinion. While I still carry a bit of bitterness about the whole situation, ( and since you are a long time follower, then you know why ) I have grown up a lot since then, and have shouldered my part of the blame, which is that I made stupid choices and got married to young, has children to young. Accepted my parents offer of "help" to watch my oldest girl when she was an infant during the breakup of her father and I, and while I struggled to get back on my feet and take care of myself so I could care for her.
I never got the chance to do so.
6 months later I was in a lawyers office, terrified of my parents and their lawyer, signing over my rights to my child. It was a mistake, and I should have fought tooth and nail. Soon after I became pregnant with my son, whom was with me until he was 5. My parents made me an offer of having him live with them due to the great school district where they were ( which is now the county I live in ) and I agreed, then realized what happened with my daughter, and I backed out of the deal. Next thing I know, HRS is knocking on my door. ( Not the first time, and all cases were dropped. All calls were made by the same person too. )
Stupid me got scared again, and I was struggling. Working full time, but still struggling. I agreed to let him go, and not long after I actually moved home myself, but that was not going to work either. I was then told if I left and took my son with me, I would be disowned and would never see my daughter again. I left him there. Shortly there after, I was asked to sign medical guardianship papers, so they had rights to treat him if he needed it. Not long after, I am bullied back into a lawyers office, because I was simply to damn scared and intimidated to know that I had a choice. YEARS later, after I stopped being scared and developed a relationship with my Dad, I told him that they nearly killed me by taking him too. I literally wanted to die. He looked at me very hard, and said: Why didn't you ever say to me "Dad, I don't want to give him up?" I stood there in shock. " Because you have intimidated me my WHOLE life, I was terrified of y'all. All these lawyers and money you threw at the situation. No way could I compete with that, and at least I knew they were taken care of, even if I were not in the picture."
I also found out that he was told a lot of crap that was not true by someone who should not have lied. There were also many things he was not made aware of, but to be fair, there were a lot of things he did not disclose either. At this point, there is no point in blaming anyone anymore. They are almost grown, we have a pretty solid relationship, which I fully admit we would probably not have as open of a relationship as we do if they lived with me all their life; and things have turned out as best as they can, given the whole situation.
One day at a time.
Those holes will never be filled, but they do have thin band-aids on them, due to the relationship I have with them.
(Sorry, that one got a little long. Your question brought a lot to the surface. )
Raven Moon asks: Why did you cease being Wiccan?
I think a lot of us that explore a Pagan path start out as Wiccan, because there is a lot of material (albeit convoluted at times ) and it is easily accessible and is the more "mainstream" branch of the Pagan tree. For me, the choice to move on to something different stemmed from the fact that I actually intensely dislike "religion." I do not need anyone else to hold me accountable for my actions. I do not do things, or not do things, in fear of eternal damnation, or even an eternal reward. I try to be the best person I can be, because that is what I should strive to be, period. No reward, no punishment. Just doing the right thing. I also realized that being Wiccan is more of a "light" version of the craft. I fully believe you can not heal if you can not harm, because some things must be harmed and/or destroyed in order to heal. I am way more comfortable in the dark. Not evil. Just the darker side of life. I rather bask in the cool light of the moon than be roasted by the burning sun. Being Wiccan does not coincide with that type of personality, in my opinion. I am not religious in the least. But I am spiritual. I prefer to let myself pick and choose what resonates with me, instead of being forced into a particular set of rules and restrictions.
Anonymous asks: Do you think your difficult life is because of bad karma, either from a past life, or this one?
Hmmm. Maybe.That could certainly be a part of it. I can't speak for my past lives, but this one stems from making bad choices in life, from not having a good support system, ( not even in myself ) from not having the proper limitations put on me in my teen years, ( realizing that my running away and almost getting killed in a car wreck was the reason there was fear to try to restrain my actions ) and from not believing in myself. Because I never bothered to believe in myself, no one else did either. Until Jack. My husband Jack changed my life in so many ways. Yes, we are in a rough patch health wise and money wise, but we are still strong in our relationship, and knowing that we will never have to face anything alone makes each battle a little easier to fight. Karma may play a part, but reality played an ever bigger part.
Well...there you have it!
I really appreciate the questions that were sent in. They were really awesome, and it makes me happy that a couple of you were not scared to ask some really tough questions. I loved them all though, and I hope that my readers will send me more! I would like to make this a fairly regular thing, once or twice a month?
Remember, as the picture says, you can ASK ME ANYTHING!
Thanks for reading! Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments, or ask me any questions in the comments too!
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