Friday, November 12, 2010

30 Days of Truth: Day 3

Day 3 : Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I have to forgive myself for letting my parents raise my two older kids. I did what was best for the kids at the time, and they way things have gone I know it was still the best decision. I was still not much more than a child myself. ( I got married at 16 and got pregnant about 4 months later ) They have needs that I can not meet financially. It has been eating me up for 13 years and I have to let it go. I have a great relationship with them, and my eldest daughter is one of my best friends, and I do not want to change that for a second.

I have to forgive myself for having a third child that does live with me, while my older two do not. They only live 10 minutes away, right up the road, but it is still not the same as having them with me. I have to forgive myself for the guilt I carry, worrying that they resent me for having another child when I was stable and able to raise her. I know for a fact they do not, and they love Alex to pieces.

I have to forgive my 15 year old self, for making the choices that shaped the rest of my life. Some of it was horrible, but some of it has been awesome too, and I would not have had those experiences if I had made different choices...

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