I am a fluffy gal. Most days, I am perfectly okay with that fact. Until the time comes to buy new clothes, which I do very rarely. Then I turn into a self hating ball of yuck.
Several months ago I bought some new undies. I picked up the wrong size package and it was three sizes larger than the ones I currently had on. When I got home and saw my mistake, I thought well let us see what they look like. Well first of all you could use them for a sail on a ship, and second of all, they were loose, but they still fit. I REALLY needed new undies and did not have the money to go out and buy a new package so I just swallowed my pride and dealt with the slightly big undies. However, every time I put them on, I felt awful. They covered like half my torso, like Steve Urkle pants...but the truth was, they still were able to stay on my body, meaning I had gained more weight. While I am okay being fluffy, I was not okay with being fluffy...er....
Then came the day where I got hurt, and everything changed. I lost weight but could not tell because I lived in loose clothes that were easy to take on and off with a cast, which meant I lived in nightgowns pretty much. Eating was different at my parent's house, which is where I had to convalesce. I did not eat as much, as there were more people in the house to feed than just the three I was used to, plus being in pain and hopped up on pain pills kept my hunger level down ( I would be starving until I actually put food in my mouth, then it would turn to dust in my mouth, horrible feeling ) and at that time, sitting up for the brief time it took me to eat made my foot swell up like a balloon. It was two months after that before I was able to walk normally, and when I was able to do so, I noticed my clothes were looser. Also, the pain pills I was taking also had a large dose of anti-inflammatory medicine in it, so unbeknownst to be, I was loosing water weight like crazy. ( Also, I never realized just how much water weight I HAD. Surprising discovery. )
Well, money is always tight and clothes are expensive so I made a belt out of an old sheer black robe I had and made do. Then Samhain rolled around, and after it came, a store I was in had their Halloween stuff drastically reduced. I got two sweatshirts ( I had like next to no cold weather clothes, being heavy is a good insulator, and with the weight I was losing , I was cold all the time.) and two t-shirts, paid like seven bucks for the whole lot. I was thrilled. I was also thrilled that I had dropped down TWO shirt sizes. I was in a 3X ( which to be fair was a little big, I am not a fan of super tight clothes so I go a little loose ) down to an XL in the t-shirts and a 1X in the sweatshirts. Yay!
I still need new jeans and pants, because the ones I have honestly fall off if I do not secure them with a belt or hitch them up every 5 minutes. Income tax time will take care of those in a couple of months.
However, now that I had lost weight, those slightly to big undies I had been wearing were now WAY to big. When I was shopping for those, I meant to grab a size 11...( I was wearing size 9 which were tight at that point ) and I accidentally grabbed a size 13...those were the ones that were big but fit, much to my dismay. Well last weekend Jack and Alex and I were out trying to price a bike that Alex at the last minute told us she wanted for Christmas ( which after looking at the price I managed to convince her to wait until income tax time, but I feel like crap about it. We just did not have enough warning to save up that kind of cash and still be able to get her something OTHER than the bike, not to mention gifts for my two older kids. ) and I told Jack I HAD to get some undies, the ones I had were just not gonna cut it anymore. So we wander over to that section and I was looking for size 11's, just like last time. Shopping for clothes really pisses me off because all the clothes are for either really tiny women, or really huge women ( and seriously..just because we are big does not mean all we want to wear is sack dresses..we do have style folks, how about making some cute AFFORDABLE clothes for larger people eh? ) so all the sizes were like up to a size 7 and then jumped to a 12 or a 13, which were all "body tone" grandma looking things. Ugh. Apparently if I am not a size two, I can not wear cute undies. Anyway, Jack and I both are walking up and down the three aisles of underthings looking for a size 11 in the style ( high cut ) that I wanted, and neither of us were able to find that size in the cut I wanted. Then he kept bringing over the REALLY cute individual pairs in a size 8 and 9, telling me I would fit, and I was telling him over and over "NO I can't" and I was feeling more and more like a moose, and I finally said screw it, and tried to just leave, but Jack, bless his heart, refused to let me walk away. So then he gives me a " You are beautiful, I love you, and the clothes industry people are asshats" speech right there in the middle of the aisle...and then tries to convince me to get the cute undies I said were to small. I told him it was just wasting money, I would never be able to fit in them, and I finally found a package of size 10 high cut undies. I figured they would be tight, but I could at least keep them on my body. SO I went home all dejected....because I knew he was going to want me to try the cute ones on, and I knew they would look awful and be to small.
So we get home and put up the stuff we bought, and I went to change clothes, and of course he wanted me to try the size 8's on. I would not let him come in the room while I did, because if they were super small or I could not get them on, I was not going to let him see that. I took them off the little hanger thing and put my feet in to them and drew them up to my knees...and to my surprise, pulled them right up over my hips! I repeat, I pulled a size EIGHT pair of undies over my hips. I have not worn a size 8 undies since I was like 20 lol. I called him in and he loved them. I love them. I opened the size 10 multi-pack, and they fit, but are a little loose. I could totally pull off a size 9 in that style. That was awesome, as you can imagine. I fully intend to go purchase more of the cute ones...size 8. *Grins*
Then this morning, Jack stayed home, he and his co-worker had to catch a transmission for a van that slipped off the stand in order to keep it from crushing them, and tore his back up. He was laying in bed with me while I woke up before I had to get Alex up and ready for school, and he had his arm around my waist and he said " My arm sits lower now.." and I said "What?" and he explained that before, when he put his arm over me, it was higher up, and now, his arm kind of draped over my side and hung down, instead of being propped up at an angle, so he could tell in other ways that I had lost weight. So that was a nice little bonus. I guess I will continue to take water pills to help keep the water weight off, since my pain pills are almost gone, and I am eating less in a sitting, and hopefully my ankle will improve so I can go walk again. I am not TRYING to lose weight, but it sure is nice to have it happen!