Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Life happens.

In my case, it seems to happen a lot. I will not even bother with the " I am so sorry I have not posted in forever!" because I do not even have the energy to spare to be sorry.

A few weeks ago, Jack was at work and working on a van transmission when the transmission slipped off the hoist it was on and almost landed on Jack and his co-worker who was helping him. They both made a lunge to catch it to keep it from crushing them, but Jack caught the heavy end and most of the weight. He tore his back up really bad, and after his well meaning but clueless boss makes him wait for a week to go to the doctor, then taking 2 more weeks to get him in to have an MRI, fights with the doctor about medicine for pain before they got the results of the MRI back, getting the results back of the MRI ( not good ) trying to get him the referral for an orthopedic surgeon and/or a neurologist, dealing with him not being able to lift more than ten pounds and having to rearrange the house accordingly, him being stubborn and not wanting to sit around and do nothing, as he was told to do from his doctor, me not being able to help much and Alex having to be his biggest helper, it has been hectic since just before Christmas.

The results of the MRI are he screwed up his L4 and L5, and the S1 and S2 and I think S3 in his spine. He has FOUR bulging discs and one possible herniated disc, and his nerves are being crushed in between the vertebra. Very painful. The S1 and such are the sciatica nerves..which affect his walking. He has to use a cane, and a lot of the times when he walks his right leg gives out because that nerve ( which runs down your leg ) is being compressed and it disrupts the signal, making his leg buckle. He is in a lot of pain and he is looking at potential surgery. We meet with an ortho or neuro doc tomorrow finally, to find out what the next step is. He is out on Worker's Comp, but he has not gotten paid yet and it is driving him crazy with worry.

So there has been huge lifestyle changes here over the last few weeks, and they are not over yet. The roommate situation has not changed yet, which is partially a good thing and partially a bad thing. I handle it some days better than others, but with every thing going on I am pretty withdrawn these days and have not been very social. I get to have one of those conversations I do not want to have, or have to have, today when he gets home from work, but there is something I can not stand any longer. Not going to add what that is here, sorry folks. I can say when I am upset, but I am not going to throw specifics out there when he also reads my blog.

Which brings me to my next point. Writing. I mentioned a couple of posts ago that I had began to write at 750Words.com. Well I have been at it for 25 days now, well...29 technically but I missed the day before Christmas Eve because we were out shopping for gifts, and it reset my daily counter. But 25 days straight with out missing a day. Let me tell you, even though it does make my blog suffer a bit, because I get to brain dump there every morning, I do not think I can ever go without it again. I love being able to freely speak my mind and get those thoughts out of my head, and vent or muse or whatever I want to do, with out having to worry about who I upset or offend or what have you. I love my blog, but there is a lot I can not write about because so many of my friends and a few family members read my blog, at least some of the time. Plus, I am the type that can be SO mad at you or whatever today, and be totally fine tomorrow once I get over it or think about it or what ever, so me posting those feelings and thoughts on my blog would be counter productive because by the time my friends read the post, chances are I am over it already, but then they get all bent out of shape over what I said and a nasty cycle starts. With 750 Words I do not have to worry about it. I can rant and rave, or pour my heart out or just spout off what ever crap runs through my brain at any given moment, release it, and move on. Very therapeutic for me. So even though I have not been writing here much, I HAVE been writing every day, and that is a change for me. I even joined the January writing challenge and I am already signed up for next month's as well. I am hoping that after all this crap is done with in my personal life that the brain dump and daily writing will let me be a better blogger. I want to change things up a bit, so I have a lot of thinking to do on that.

But for now, I must go, because it is time to get Alex ready for school. I will update about Jack once we know more. If I have any readers left, thanks for hanging in there. It will get better soon.


Deb said...

Glad you're back. So sorry about your husbands back. Both DH and I have had recent back injuries, nothing near as bad as your husbands, but the pain awful, and changes frustrating. Hoping things get better soon.

I am also tagging you. When you get a minute please stop by my blog for rules and questions. Then you will be off tagging 11 bloggers would like to know better.

Hang in there.

Monogram Dancer


Luna Raven said...

Holy cow! You are just getting it from all sides, aren't you?! I am so sorry about Jack, I know you are still healing yourself from you leg and this must be pretty trying. Please tell Jack that if he doesn't try to rest and relax he will make it worse. I know it's stressful, but he needs to indulge his doctor and trust that they know what's what. I hope that all of this dust settles for you soon & times won't be so rough. I am glad you have an outlet that makes you safe & happy to place your words without extra issues!