Monday, March 18, 2013

A little social experiment.

As some people may or may not have noticed, I have been pretty silent for the better part of a week on my social networks. I have not posted on Facebook or here on the blog, on Twitter, or anywhere else.

There are two reasons for that.

One, I have been busy trying to prepare for this coming week. Jack has had appointments, we have another one today and his surgery is tomorrow. Right now I am sitting in my mother's office at work, as I am going to help her pick up a new to her vehicle as her current one keeps giving her fits, in and out of the shop. So she bought a back up vehicle. I will be driving her current vehicle home later and meeting Jack at her house so we can go to his Doctor's appointment. Also, with so much going on, I have been quiet, and have not  had much to say.

After a couple of days however, I decided that since I was not going to be here much I would conduct a little experiment. I decided to see just how long it took my "friends" to notice I was not posting and had gone silent, and see who decided to check in with me. Not in an asshole way or anything. I am not going to delete anyone or act like a jerk, I was just honestly curious. I have almost 500 contacts on my personal Facebook account ( half of those are for FB games and not those I really talk to outside of the game. ) Out of the remaining half, I talk to maybe 30 people on a regular to semi-regular basis. Out of that 30, I consider 15 or so to be "close" friends, those who I would expect to notice my silence. In 5 days of total social networking silence, ( which is unheard of for me ) ONE person contacted me, and not because I was silent, but because she knows everything that has been going on in my life and decided to ask how I was. One person.

I was a bit disheartened. I have been searching for my "tribe," and I thought I had found it. Granted, everyone has things they are dealing with, and may have simply not noticed at all. But considering that I talk to a good chunk of those people surprised me that NONE of them said a word. NO one noticed ( or at least said anything about it ) that I said nothing for almost a WEEK. It bugs me, even though I do not want it to.

Most of my friends are online friends. Even the ones I know face to face are online friends as well, due to location, time and responsibility preventing us from getting together often. So therefore, those online friends are very important to me. Having NO one say anything at all makes me feel like I do not really matter to those people. That may not be the case of course, and I am not saying that it is. That is how it makes me feel however.

I have done the same things at times. I notice certain people not posting very often, but chances are, I know what is going on in their lives so it is not really a surprise that they have not been around, so I do not say anything. That may be the case here too. Most people know how things have been, so because they are not surprised, they might not say anything. I still do not like that little doubt that popped up in the back of my mind though.

It could make one wonder just how meaningful their online relationships actually are. I know that mine are valid and important, most of my online relationships I have had for years. I love these people.

I am sure it is best for me not to over-think it, as I tend to do.

How do you all feel about your online relationships? Are they totally fulfilling? Do they ever seem a little one-sided, ( and be honest, could you be the one not saying anything? ) Do you work as hard to maintain your online relationships that matter, as you would your face to face relationships?

Share your thoughts with me in the comments!

I am going to be quiet for a few more days, as tomorrow is Jack's surgery and I will be dealing with taking care of him for a while. Alex is spending most of this week with my Mom since the kids are out on Spring Break. So that is a good thing.

Also, I have started using Bloglovin' to replace Google Reader. There is a striking button for it over on the right sidebar. Click it to be taken to my page on Bloglovin'.

One more thing. I have a poll question up on top of the left sidebar, asking when you usually read the blogs and articles you enjoy. Be a lamb and click an answer for me, please? Thanks :D

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Vickie said...

You know I check on you and I'm guessing I was the *one* you are talking about. So yeah, I value my online friends as much as my face to face friends. And sometimes it DOES take more effort with them. Some I have removed because they no longer resonate on the same level I am on.

I have a link to something I'm going to send you. Read it DAILY, print it out and keep it with you. It will help you decide who is important and who to leave behind.

Kleaf19 said...

Ah my Bella... I must admit I am one that did not notice. But it has absolutely nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me. I'm not online as often as I used to be, I myself can go days without checking my social sites. So for me, I probably just figured we'd missed each other. Plus, facebook has this silly way of 'filtering' out people they think I don't want to see, when in reality I do. Social media is a mess, and I'm so sorry you feel neglected. Never my intent I promise!

Also, as for your survey... none of the above would be my answer. I check them when I have time, when that is depends on the day of the week!

Much love my dear!

Tess said...

I actually was feeling the same as you all week.....found I was doing some major internal work much love to you xx

Unknown said...

Vix, yes you were the one <3

I just want to add, I am not mad or upset at people or and individuals. Like I said in the post, I was not doing it to be a jerk, and I do the same thing, I was just curious as to how it would turn out. I am fully aware than everyone has their own life with their own crap to deal with, I was just curious if anyone would even notice.

It made me stop and think about how I am, and how I can be a better online friend ( or friend in general ) myself. It has given me a lot to think about!

I love all of you gals, so please do not think I am mad or anything, I swear I am not!

It just gave me a lot of food for thought if that makes sense.

Thank you for the feedback ladies!

( And yes, FB and the way they filter crap now is so annoying. I have to go to people's pages otherwise I never see anything lol.)