Wednesday, March 27, 2013

I'm not sorry...

Lately I have found myself apologizing to a lot of people, for things I no longer feel I need to apologize for.



Things like this:

Me: Have you heard the song *insert song here* by *insert artist here*?

Other person: No, I do not listen to *insert musical genre here*, I only listen to * insert genre (s) here*.

Me: Oh, sorry.

Time will pass and I will be listening to that song or artist again and I will say something about it, and I will start off with: "Sorry, I know you do not like this but..." or I will be asked what I am listening to and will answer with: "*insert artist name here* Sorry...I know you do not like them, but *insert whatever comes next here*."

Or:

After not getting to talk to someone that I normally talk to due to them not being around, or because they do not get there until late, or if I had things to do and was not online until later, and I have a schedule to keep:

'Sorry I have to go to bed so early ( or already ) *even though it is 10 or 11 at night, which is my "bedtime" on a school night for Alex* but I have to get up early.'


Or:

'Sorry I did not call you because *insert lame excuse here*' when the truth is I hate talking on the fucking phone and everyone knows it. Strangers I have never met but have read anything I have ever posted on the net knows I hate the damn phone. Unless you are dying or in trouble, or have no internet, please don't call me...ever. I will do everything in my power to get off the phone as fast as possible. I do not enjoy talking on the phone, no matter who it is or how much I love or enjoy the person who calls, and almost everyone knows why too.

Napping ( I am the only person I know who does not nap all the time, lol ), personal preferences, smoking, ( seriously, so many of my online friends smoke and I did not even know it, because no one talks about it due to all the shit non-smokers give people. I smoke, but I am not a rude smoker. I only smoke out in the open air, and never around people who do not smoke, or in doorways or crowded places. I do not need shit from anyone about smoking. I am an adult and make my own choices, and I know the risks.) my schedule, shopping at Wal-Mart because no matter how terrible they are, I have to feed and clothe my family and I cannot afford to shop elsewhere most of the time, enjoying Facebook because there are so many haters out there, watching TV because it's evil and rots the brain, buying anything not essential for surviving because we are so broke all the time, therefore people think we should never buy anything for sheer enjoyment...all these things and more I find myself apologizing for, or being quiet about it so as not to offend anyone because of what I do with my own body or with my own time.

The really big one?

Food.

I seldom mention what I am eating anymore, because there is always someone who has some bullshit to say about it. I can't talk about eating meat, lest I offend the vegetarians, ( thank goodness the ones I care about most are not the type to give speeches and lectures or make asshole comments over the fact I eat meat. ) I feel that I can't talk about bread or grains due to all the gluten free or Paleo people having something to say about it. ( Again, the ones that matter do not do this, because they are not assholes. I am taking about the internet in general. ) Can't admit I like soda, because they will kill me, refined sugar and flour are the devil, if I eat an all veggie meal the meat eaters have something to say. It is just utter BULLSHIT. I eat as conscientious as possible. I buy organic food when available and as money allows. But when it comes to being able to feed my family, I will do and eat whatever we can afford that gives us the most nutritional value and enjoyment.

WHY do we DO this to each other? Why do we make others feel the need to apologize for living their lives they way they want to? It is NONE of anyone else's business what I put in my body or do with my time, unless it somehow affects them directly, in my opinion. Granted, if you throw out what you are doing in a public forum, then you open yourself up to other people's opinions, but since when did everyone's opinion become some negative filled type of oppression, or "My way is better than your way?"

We all need to stop it. Stop apologizing for existing. We all need to stop judging others and acting like our way is the only way, or the only correct way. What we choose to eat, what we choose to wear, who we choose to associate with, who we choose to love, what we choose to do with ourselves is no one else's concern. Unless I am directly affecting you, causing you actual harm in some way, not just offending your sense of correctness, then you have no right to dictate what I, or anyone else, does, or make anyone feel guilty about what they do. Right now the Senate is discussing the legality of same sex marriages and rights...but it is not just the Senate that needs to wake up. It is all the rest of us too. This is not YOUR life, or MY life, it's OUR life and we ALL have the right to live it as we see fit.



Stop shaming and shunning people who are different. You have the right to not agree with the things I do. It is not your right to make me or anyone else feel like shit about it, or dictate if I get to do it or not. So no, I am not sorry for living my life the best way I know how. You should not be sorry either.



















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8 comments:

Vickie McNeely-Lesperance said...

Don't you EVER apologize to me for being YOU! I don't care if you eat meat (I do too), I don't care if you smoke, and I'm right there with you about that fucking phone. I HATE talking on the phone!! I like bread, and sugar and rice and potatoes, and even if I didn't I have NO right to tell you how to live YOUR life!

Simply put... I LOVE YOU just the way you are, no exceptions and NO damn excuses!!

Kallan Kennedy said...

Go Bella!!!

Bella Foxglove said...

Love you ladies! <3

mxtodis123 said...

I was a great one for saying "I'm sorry". Also had a hard time saying 'no'. I've gotten better, yes, but still apologize for things that I don't even have to apologize for.

For example, I have a co-worker who loves to take. She takes, and takes, and then takes some more. Everything I eat, she wants some...and usually I just bring enough for my lunch. One day I had one small little pork chop and she asked for some. I didn't give her any, but felt I had to say I'm sorry. Why?
Mary

Tallah said...

I wish there was a Tumblr share button so i could blast this all over the Pagan community tags. THIS IS WHY I RARELY POST ANYTHING EXCEPT REBLOGS!

Bella Foxglove said...

I added a tumblr button :)

Bella Foxglove said...

Mary, decent people try to not be rude. You are one of those people, even to the person (s) who do not deserve it, like the greedy and selfish woman who thinks it is okay to just lay claim to your food.

While we all need to be more tolerant, there are situations where tolerance is not the answer, and that woman needs to be put in her place.

WhisperingWriter said...

I used to have this problem too. But now I realize that not everyone is going to think like me. If they can't accept differing opinions then we shouldn't be friends.

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