Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Memoirs of a Crazy Witch

Last year I submitted some things I wrote to a site called Authspot.com and was published on the web. I wanted to share a few of them here..since they are my writing and I have been thinking about them the last few days. Hope you enjoy!

*FYI: I am a few months PAST my 30th now lol*

The Beginning

"A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step" some one once said to me. Never in a million years did I think I would ever travel on the roads that have brought me to this point.

I became a Witch when I was 13 years old. Religion never played a part in my life until I was about 5 years old, and my tyrant of a father went through a "What does it all mean?" phase. I was then drug to every type of church there was in my county in Northern Florida. He eventually decided that he wanted to be a Jehovah’s Witness for a while. I am not sure why, as he did not follow half of the things they "required" you to, like not smoking for one. He and my mother both were chain smokers.

We attended services there for the next 6 years, 3 times a week. I never embraced the religion. First of all I was a child, and had little concept of a God, and second of all, what I was learning did not feel right to me somehow.

I finally regained my freedom when I turned 13. My Dad decided none of the churches we attended were correct in their teaching, and that I was free to make my own choices in that aspect. I felt as though a 2 ton weight had been lifted off of my shoulders!

About a month after that, my Mom and I were shopping in Barnes and Nobles (which was a rare thing. I lived way out in the woods, and we did not get to go to the mall very often) and I ended up in the New Age section. I shuffled along the isle, scanning the titles on the book spines, when suddenly my eyes landed on a book and I stopped in my tracks. I picked it up, and it seemed warm to my hands. It was the book Green Witchcraft by Ann Moura. My life has never been the same since.

I took the book home and locked myself in my room. I sat there for a while, just staring at the picture on the glossy black and green cover. There was a picture of trees deep in a forest somewhere, with moss hanging down, and it brought to mind a path winding through a dark forest. I devoured the first half of the book in about an hour. Before I read that book, I had only a passing knowledge of things like magic and spirits and things of that nature. Most of what I knew was from movies and fantasy books. Imagine my surprise to find out that a lot of it was real! Well, sort of.

I quickly learned it was not as it was in my favorite books and movies. I had heard the word "Metaphysical" before but at the time I had no idea what it meant. As I read, I learned about energy in a totally different way than what I was taught in school. The concept of raising energy and sending it away from me with a specific intent blew my mind. When I thought of Witches and magic in the past, I thought of The Wicked Witch of the West, Hansel and Gretel, Halloween, my great grandmother, and all kinds of commercial type deals.

I stayed up until long after midnight reading the book from cover to cover, then starting back at page one when I was finished. I had to hide the book from my parents, since I was not sure if they would freak out about it, so I played it safe. Not long after that I ended up buying a book called Wicca A to Z: A Complete Guide to the Magical World by Gerina Dunwich. This was also a very interesting book, kind of like a dictionary of the magical realm. I have acquired many more books on Witchcraft and Paganism in general, but I still have those two after all these years.

After that I ended up straying from my "path" because of some stupid life choices. I ran away from home at 15 to get away from my father, got into a car wreck a week later that almost took my life, got married at 16, pregnant with my first child at 17, divorced at 18, pregnant with my second child at 19, and then I finally woke up when I was 24 and got my life straight. I ended up meeting a Pagan man, and we got married and had a beautiful daughter. With him I was finally able to be my true self, and have grown in leaps and bounds, intellectually and spiritually. I am now a few months shy of my 30th birthday, and as I look back on who I was back then, and who I am now, I shake my head and think to myself, "If only I had listened to the Goddess when she called to me so long ago, maybe things would have turned out a lot different…"
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Rue said...

Ahh...but it's all about the journey. Cliche, I know, but it's true. I always thought I'd change so many things - bad decisions, worse men, but it all makes you who you are today. And who you are today is perfect!

AmyK. said...

Beautiful post...and yep, it is all about the journey.

Choices have far reaching ramifications...some good, some bad and so on.

I have recently realized that I choose to be happy and that makes me, well, HAPPY! It was a journey though ;-).