Not your typical witch....NaBloWriMo Day 31 Final Post

I made it! I posted every day this month, sometimes multiple times! I thank all of you for coming along with me on this little writing journey, and I am pleased to share this final NaBloWriMo entry with you today.

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I am not what you would call a typical Witch. I do not do things the way your "normal" witch would do them. This becomes even more obvious to me when Samhain (Halloween) rolls around every year.

I am not big on spells, ( although I do believe they work, first hand knowledge ) I strongly dislike rituals, ( not the ritual concept itself, but my personally doing them...they do not feel natural, they feel forced and clumsy ) and I do not need all the bells and whistles to get in the right frame of mind, or to raise energy, or what have you. I do not cast a physical circle. I do not sing, or vocally chant, or any of that stuff.

Since I am what you would call an introvert...or a hermit...or whatever you want to call it, most of my magic takes place inside my mind, just like everything else does for me. I internalize everything. I get better results by practicing where I am most comfortable, inside my own head, than if I try to act it out physically. I have been told this means I am just "pretending" to be a witch, or that I really do nothing, or that I am to afraid, and several other things that just cause me to shake my head. It is okay that people do not understand, as this is the way *I* practice. I am not trying to convince or teach any one else to adopt my ways of practicing. I have read the books. I have had the mentors, I have tried everything the way most think you are *supposed* to do it. It does not work for me. It is not genuine, and if it is not genuine, then it is ineffective. So I do what works for me, and that is all that really matters, right?

This is already a magical season for me. The weather starts to cool off, and in fact this year it is unusually colder than it normally would be, and I am loving it. I come alive in the Fall and early Winter months.  Samhain is the first step on the journey to return to my true self...the one that hides in the hot and icky months.

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I am always very aware of Samhain, and what it represents, but I do not do the usual rituals and traditions that other Witches may do; such as the Dumb Supper or holding a Seance , or having a ritual, alone or with a coven. There are many different things that people do, and normally I do not do any of those. I quietly acknowledge my loved ones who have passed and do some reflection, and go about my day. This year is going to be a bit different.

This year has been one of the most difficult of my life.

For anyone who has been reading here for any length of time, knows that is saying something.

I don't just mean 2012, I mean an actual 365 days. Although in truth is is going on a year and two months now. I broke my ankle, lost a few friends, my oldest friend lost 15 years of her memory, Jack got hurt, my Dad was diagnosed with cancer, and then later died from it, (which is still devastating me ) Jack got hurt in other ways, I got hurt in other ways, money woes, things breaking, illness, emotional distress...just one thing after another. It has been terrible. There are a couple of bright spots that I am thankful for, but the bad far, far outweighs the good.

Tonight I am going to try to change that.

While what I am doing is not a "ritual" per se, it is for me, because as I stated earlier, I do everything inside of my head. This year I will have a massive fire, and I will celebrate with my family for a while, with joy and love, and then I will be alone, with the fire, with the spirits, and I will do my best to cast out some of the ever abundant "bad" in my life and try to balance it out with more "good" in my life. I will be trying to communicate with my daddy...I know he is near. I have smelled his cologne twice in the last week...the scent he wore when I was a child, and one that is not even made anymore...and suddenly he is always on my mind, every second of every day. I dream of him. I see movement out of the corner of my eye, when no one is around. I know he is here. So I am hoping for....something...tonight. His ash scattering was a fiasco, and I am still longing for internal closure, even while realizing on some levels I already have it. It is hard to describe with any real clarity.

I will spend precious time alone. Beseeching the unknown for peace. For a reprieve. For release from this downward spiral that has made us all so dizzy and sick.


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Samahin may be after the world spins into the darker half of the year...away from the sun...but in my world, the change in energy, the cooler weather...all of those things bring blessed and cooling moonlight into my life. Light is light,no matter if it is directly from the sun, or reflected off of the moon. Tonight is the Witch's New Year, and I hope and pray that it will be a year filled with love and laughter and joy. Peace, happiness, and prosperity. Good things. I have had my year of bad things. It is time for balance to be restored.

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Samhain means many things to this atypical Witch, but I can say with confidence that Samhain represents the doorway in which I step through to finally return to myself each year.

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There you have it. An entire month of posting for NaBloWriMo!! I had a lot of fun, and I have enjoyed reading all the posts from those who participated! I look forward to doing it again next year!

Thanks for hanging out with me this month. I hope you all have a blessed Samhain!

It's the last day, and I helped!

Blessed Samhain and Happy Halloween everyone!


Here we are, the final day of the month, and also the final regular posting from Samhain's Sirens! It has been a great fun filled month, and I am so thankful to have been a part of it!

There are TWO POSTS to wrap the month up, and the second post is from yours truly, *Big cheesy grin* so please go over and show some love!

There is a yummy and cute recipe for a pumpkin cheeseball, which is totally adorable!

As it is Halloween, we are sure a lot of you might be carving pumpkins today, so the Sirens decided to provide you with some inspiration!

Be sure to enter the giveaways to throw the final entries in the bag for the big granddaddy giveaway, valued at over $400.00!!! The winner for the grand prize will be announced Friday, so hurry over and join in on the final day of fun with Samhain's Sirens! Good luck!

Thank you all for joining in on a great month, and I hope you will join us next time!

Spooky fun and Samhain Blessings to you all!!!

This, That, and the other Thing. NaBloWriMo Day 30

Happy..er..what day it is? Tuesday! Yes, happy Tuesday everyone!

First and foremost, my candles still burn, and love and protection and healing are still being sent to those who have been and are being affected by Sandy. She has been downgraded, but by no means is it over yet. My heart is with you all.

Due to the storm, we are postponing the final few days of the Samhain's Sirens posts, to wait for things to become more stable. Once things have returned to whatever normal will be, we will pick up where we left off. Thank you for your patience and understanding in this matter.

In other news, there is only three more days until my interview with Winston Emerson, author of The Object: Book One. I finalized everything today and we are all set to publish here on November second. I am so very excited and can't wait to share it with all of you.

As a reminder, you can help out with the book launch and score some pretty awesome stuff by helping out with the Kickstarter campaign. There is 5 hours left and every little bit helps!

Only one more day left of NaBloWriMo and I am proud to say that I have not missed a day yet! This has been a lot of fun, and while I had to post a few bare minimum entries, I still posted every day! Yay me!


Here at home, I am finalizing my Samhain plans. I have a blog post to write tomorrow about what Samhain means to me, and Jack has been gathering firewood all week for me so I can have a big bonfire as darkness falls. First, we will have some family time, we are going to roast some hot dogs and marshmallows over the fire, and have some fun, and then I am running Jack and Alex inside so I can preform my first Samhain ritual in over 6 years. I usually do things in my head, but as this has been a hell of a year, and still is, I am going outside of myself for a change. I have letters to write, and to burn, and a lot of releasing to do. Rituals usually bug the crap out of me, I do not like doing them, but I am really looking forward to this one. Lucky for me, the weather has turned crisp and cold at night, so the weather should be perfect for the fire and for what I want to do. I might write more about it after it happens, or I may keep it to myself, I have not decided yet. I guess I will see how I feel about it after I am done.

So, the next few days will be a bit busy, and I am so looking forward to Thursday...I am not going to write a damn thing, so I am letting you know ahead of time lol. I have posted more here this month than I have in the last year, and Bella needs a break. After the interview posts, I will have had a couple of days off from writing, and then I intend to jump into the personal projects I am going to do, especially the posts I have in mind for Planet Buddha. It has been far to long since I posted over there and I need to fix that.

I will still be around on the Fan Page daily, so head over there if you want to keep up.

One more day folks. One more day.

I hope everyone is having as good of a day as possible!

Samhain Tarot Reading

Tonight after I saged the hell out of the house ( literally heh heh ) and burned an assortment of magical herbal goodies for their various properties, I sat down here with the intention of calling it a night, to just relax.

Of course the cat chose that moment to yowl at the back door to be let inside. So I trudge over there and open the door and feel the COLD air wash over me. Thats right. Cold air. Not two hours ago it was 76 degrees and now it is 58. * Chortles happily*

I was suddenly feeling very magical, and actually I was watching Practical Magic, which ALWAYS makes me feel Witchy, and I decided to do a tarot reading for myself for the coming year. I have not done a reading in a while, and not for myself in even longer. I was drawn to use a deck I have not used before, one that Maia sent me a few months ago. I can not remember the name of it...forever and a day ago I commented on a blog of Jupiter's but can not seem to find the post to share, and the name is not really on the box lol.

ANYWAY, I was drawn to use that deck, and I went and got a blanket and a pillow and spread it out on the floor and put the pillow behind me and spent a few minutes shuffling the deck and talking to it. When I felt ready I asked it to show me what was in store for the next year, and I used the Star spread which is shaped like a pentacle and a card is placed on each of the pentacle points.

My reading is as follows:

Center of Star is the 'Heart of the Question ' position and the card was the Five of Wands, which made me laugh because it is a card ( to me ) that points to arguments and petty annoyances, people trying to get in your way and arguing for the sake of arguing....and that is really what I had in mind when I asked the question...I was thinking " What crap am I going to have to deal with" and that card came up and make me chuckle. I love it when the Universe has a sense of humor *winks*

The next card was the 'Present" position, which was below the above card, and that card was the Eight of Swords, reversed. That usually means that the path ahead is clear, and calls you to follow it...which I take to mean that things will be easier, and I will once again continue my journey on my spiritual path. It also means that obstacles fall aside and allow freedom of movement, and that your goals usually will be achieved, which is awesome, as I have several I would like to accomplish over the next year or so.

The next card was in the 'Intellect' position, and this was the lower left point of the star. That card was the Ten of Cups, which is a pretty awesome card. It usually means that your goals are obtained, the relationships in your life are true, your dreams become reality, and there is glitter and rainbows all over the place and it is time to feel the creamy goodness of life with those close to you. This card means a LOT because I feel like Jack and I have never been better, and we have been through  some ROUGH times over the last year....well...two if you want to get technical. Things feel really good in my life, I have new friends, my relationships that mean something to me are solid, and I have felt very content for a while now, and that is a BIG deal for me.

The next card was the 'Known Desires' position, and that card was the Knight of Pentacles. This one is a bit confusing to me. The Knight of Pentacles is the most hardworking of all the Knights, and the most devoted, but it says he is too wrapped up in materialistic things. It confuses me because I am trying to get RID of my material possessions to a degree...I am wedding out half my house and getting rid of stuff that does not serve any purpose in my life anymore. When I see the word "materialistic" it brings someone who is greedy and constantly has to buy stuff to make them happy, and that is not me at all.

Next is the 'What is yet to unfold' position, and the card I got for that spot was the Moon, reversed. The Moon governs all dreams, and while the moon can inspire, it can also deceive. This card tells me I have to decipher if the dreams I am having ( and boy have I had a lot of odd ones as of late ) are prophetic or merely fantasy.

The next card was in the 'Emotions' spot, and I drew the Two of Cups. In the upright position it is a card of devotion, bonding, and the sharing of experiences. The coming together of two halves to make a stronger whole. Again, with the Jack thing, we are better and closer than ever, and we are much stronger as a whole. But aside from the romantic aspect, I have a couple of friendships that are solid, and we are closer than ever, and stronger than ever.

The final card, the 'Outcome' position, was the Ace of Swords. The Ace stands for clarity of mind, and represents a singularity of purpose and piercing intent. Focus and consciousness combine for decisive decisions. I am a very direct and logical minded person, and I usually do not have trouble making important decisions when the situation calls for it, so I take this card to mean as long as I hold on to that, and stay focused and level headed, that the coming year will turn out just fine.

So as you can see, all in all this was a pretty good reading. I have to add that right in the middle of this, my power went out and I had an interesting night. I am just now getting to finish, and be sure to head over to The Wandering Hearth and check out my guest post Spirits of the Night.

Have a good evening everyone!

Cleaning on Samhain??

Not usually, but that is what is happening lol.

Plans for the weekend got changed, and so did my Samhain night! Money was tight this weekend, with rent coming next week...so our plans were supposed to be going to drop Alex off at my moms today, which we did, and go to the flea market...which we also did. Tomorrow we were supposed to get up at the ass crack of dawn and go to the gun range, but having the gas money for Jack to get back and forth to work was an issue, so we decided not to go this weekend and go next weekend instead. Which is fine with me, if I am lucky it will be colder next weekend and I LOVE watching the sun rise in cold weather. It is about the only time I can be up with the sun and be sorta happy about it. So now tomorrow Jack will go get Alex more than likely and then we will be home to watch the race.

Tonight I was going to do my ritual outside, with a fire, but, just like LAST freaking year, it has been pouring off and on all day. Why must it always rain on Samhain? Florida. Got to love it.

Jack cooked tonight, and after we got home from the flea market and the grocery store, I was playing around on Facebook..but it was not the same. When ever I win at a game or something, Alex is usually cheering me on and clapping and she gets so excited....and tonight it just did not seem as fun without her here. SO I got up and started washing some clothes, because Mom gave me a cutie twin sheet and comforter set to go on Alex's new big girl bed. They were clean, but they smelled like my mom, which is not "home" for Alex, so I wanted to get the clothes washed so I could wash her bed clothes. So I did that, but even washing clothes was not the same, because Alex just HAS to put the clothes in the dryer for me...so even though not stepping on her every 5 seconds because she is my shadow has been nice, I have felt her absence pretty keenly tonight.

I cleaned the kitchen next, because I forgot to do it before we left, and then I went in Alex's room and started rearranging stuff a little, because we finally got her toddler bed taken down and moved so I had the room to spread her stuff out. It was time to eat then, so I did. Then I got a wild hair and decided to remove the fan blades from her ceiling fan and the cage and blades from her oscillating fan that sits in her corner, and clean them. I filled the tub with just enough water to cover them all and added some cleaner and let them soak while I went and folded and hung four loads of laundry. After I was done with that I went back and scrubbed the fan stuff and propped them on a towel to dry a bit while I put her sheets in the dryer and her new comforter and spare sheets ( that were on her bed ) in the wash.

After that I went and dusted her room, and I was going to start hanging wall paper, but I think I am just to damn tired tonight! Her comforter is in the dryer now, so all I have to do for that all to be done is toss that on the bed. Oh, the set came with a dust ruffle so I had to heave the mattress off and get that put on, and put the mattress back on. I went to put her blades back on the fan and I have a nerve disorder that causes my hands to be a bit unsteady at times, and it gets worse when I am tired...so trying to hold the blades over my head and line the screw up and twist the screwdriver with the other hand was just not working, I was shaking to bad. Jack put them up for me while I put her floor fan back together, and while I was doing that I decided I want to move her TV and VCR/DVD player to the other corner of the room, but, again, I am just to damn tired lol. SO I will probably work on that tomorrow as well before the race.

So far I have spent the better part of my Samhain night cleaning, but I do not mind, I got a lot done and feel pretty proud of myself, since some of it was a tough icky job like those fan blades. I do not even know the last  time they were cleaned, it is a wonder they moved any air at all lol.

I am wondering if I will do my ritual tonight now...I actually want to sage Alex's room since she is not here to mess with it and I can leave it in there and not worry about her hurting herself...but as far as my burning ritual I might skip that. Or I might get a second wind after everything calms down ( Jack is watching a movie with the surround sound at like 40 bazillion decibels ) and go ahead and do it.

Either way, I have spent a lot of time today thinking about those that are no longer with us, and talking to them so to speak, and if tonight is any indication, my coming year will be a busy and productive one!

I hope everyone is having  great evening, and love and hugs to all!!

Just wanted to say....

I hope everyone has a blessed Samhain, and a great weekend all the way around. It is a busy weekend for me, which is rare, so hopefully I will have lots of stories to share!

Don't forget to check out The Wandering Hearth all this weekend for guest posts from Jupiter Greenmoone, Ryan Sutton, and myself. Jupiter has already written hers and it is awesome. Be sure to check it out!

Have a wonderful holiday weekend everyone, and Happy New Year!!!  *winks*

Samhain Tidbit...

I have only skimmed most of the Samhain themed posts here unless they had personal stories attached to them...so feel free to skim this one as it has nothing to do with me...that one will come later..... I actually was not going to post about the typical "What is Samhain and Why is it Important to Us" deal...but I saw this and wanted to share....if anyone else has posted this I am sorry..

From:  http://www.witchway.net/hallows/lore.HTML

Samhain is popularly known today as Halloween, a contraction of the words "Hallowed Evening", and it retains much of the original form and meaning it had long ago in Celtic lands, despite the efforts of the Church to turn it into an observance of feasting and prayer for their vast pantheon of saints.  The Church began calling it Michaelmas, the Feast day of St. Michael, but the old Samhain holiday proved to be too potent a drawing card for one lone saint to combat.  So it was renamed The Eve of All Saints, or All Hallows Eve, which precedes All Saint's Day, and is still one of the holiest days in Catholicism.

 The pagan Samhain is not, and never was, associated with evil or negativity.  It has always been a time to reaffirm our belief in the Oneness of all spirits, and in our firm resolution that physical death is not the final act of existence.  Though death is very much a part of Samhain's symbolism, this Sabbat also celebrates the triumph of life over death.

  While it is true that Samhain is no more evil than any other holiday, it is also a fact that evil does exist, and pagans have always been aware of this.  Our ancestors sought to protect themselves on this night by carving faces in vegetables to place near windows or at the perimeters of their circle.  These were the forerunners of our present day jack-o-lanterns.  These carved pumpkin faces are probably relics of the even earlier custom of placing candles in windows to guide the Earth-walking spirits along their way.  Today it is still a custom in Ireland to place candles in the windows on Samhain night and to leave plates of food for the visiting spirits.

There are two possible sources for the origin of the Samhain Sabbat's name.  One is from the Aryan God of Death, Samana, and the other is from the Irish Gaelic word "samhraidhreadh" , which literally means "the Summer's' end".  Samhain marked the end of summer and the beginning of Winter for the Celts, with the day after Samhain being the official date of the Celtic New Year.  The reason the Celts chose this point in time as their new year rather than Yule, when the rest of Western pagans celebrate it, was because the sun is at its lowest point on the horizon as measured by the ancient standing stones of Britain and Ireland.

  This is also a time for harmless pranks, lavish feasting, circle games, and merrymaking which can be teasingly blamed on nearby spirits ;)  ( Ala Loki, Abbot, Lord of Misrule etc.)

  Samhain bonfires, called balefires in paganism, were once lighted on every hilltop in Britain and Ireland as soon as the sun set on October 30. The word "balefire" comes from the word "boon", which means "extra".  The fires serve the purpose of containing the energy of the dead god, lighting the dark night, warding off evil, ushering in the light of the New Year, purifying the ritual space or home, and being the focus of ritual. In many parts of the British Isles these balefires are still lighted on Samhain to honor the old ways.

The idea that evil spirits walk the earth at Samhain is a misinterpretation of the pagan belief  that the veil of consciousness which separates the land of the living from the land of the dead is at its thinnest on this night.  This does not mean that hordes of evil entities cross this chasm. Some pagans believe this veil is made thin by the God's passing through it into the Land of the Dead, and that he will, for the sake of his people, attempt to hold back any spirits crossing into the physical plane whose intent it is to make trouble. In nearly all the Western pagan traditions, deceased ancestors and other friendly spirits are invited to join the Sabbat festivities, and be reunited with loved ones who are otherwise separated by time and dimensions of existence.

  Some modern scholars claim that Samhain's traditional 'Trick or Treat custom was derived from a ploy to scare away fairies and other mischievous spirits, but it has overtones of being a custom of a much later period, perhaps one which grew up around the Burning Times. During the Burning Times, masking and dark clothing hid the identities of witches going to their covens so that they might escape detection.

The mask also had the added benefit of frightening away any inquisitor who might happen upon a lone figure in the woods.

Am I a Bad Witch?

The month of October, the highlight of most Witch's Year, is well underway. The Halloween decorations have been in the stores since late August, houses are decorated already, the internet sites I frequent and the games I play are all decked out in their spooky finery. Everyone is in a state of anticipation and creamy goodness.

Except me.

Am I a bad Witch for wishing October were just done and over already? The contests and 31 days of....( and no I am not calling anyone out in blog land, because all that stuff is awesome fun lol ) is all over the internet..and it is all great fun, I have entered a jillion of them myself, but this is not what Samhain is about!

Maybe it is because so many Witches live in places they can only truly express themselves and come out of the Broom Closet for a single month out of the year. I get that. Maybe I have a hard time because even living in a place where the God Fearing and Gun Toting  people abound, ( And yes I am a gun toter too lol ) I have not been in the Broom Closet since I was like 15, I have a harder time relating.

Maybe it is because historically, the month of October sucks for me, with the exception of my babygirl's birth, even though she was born at 28 weeks, she survived and never suffered any health problems or delayed development over it.

I feel the same way about Yule/Xmas. Everyone is so worried about the commercial aspect of it, no one talks about or pays much attention to the real "reason for the season", no matter what religion they are.

Or maybe it is because the decor in my house is "Halloweeny" year round, so it desensitizes me to a degree.

Maybe it is because I have had 4 hours of sleep and I am grumpy and feel like "listening" to myself bitch, who knows lol.  I take that back, I am not grumpy, just tired...and when I am tired I tend to be more open with things that bother me.

In blog land, of the umpteen dozen blogs I follow ( and love, or I would not follow you lol ) very few have posted anything about Samhain, what it is, what it means to them, things they do for Samhain, things like that. Most of it is "Click here and here, and here..oh and here and here, to maybe win a shrunken head on a stick" (Please Goddess don't let any of the blogs I read actually be giving away a shrunken head on a stick or I am dead meat, oh please oh please) Of which I have done more than once this month *winks*

I guess I just expected Pagan blogs to be more...Pagan. Now don't get me wrong. I do not mean one of those stiff and formal types who have a 48 page ritual to honor the Dead. Those bore the shit out of me. I am eclectic and informal for a reason. It is who I am.

I don't know, maybe I am just rambling again. I do that a lot lol. I guess I just expected more from the Pagan Community at large this time of year. One of our local Pagan Pride festivals is this time of year, and I remember when it used to be about Pagans, and what we are, and what we do, and what it means to us. Now, it is about selling T-Shirts and buttons and posters that say " I survived the  Pagan Pride Festival of 2009", complete with little hordes of people with torches and pitchforks. No, I am not kidding. I know a few of the vendors this year, and have seen the template with my own two eyes. Funny? Yes. The point of a Pride festival? No lol. Not to me anyway.

I just feel like a bad witch at times because I do not buy in to all the other stuff everyone else seems to go apeshit for this time of year. I guess it has to do with my underlying issues with commercialism.

Well hopefully ya'll are not saying " Oh no that bitch did NOT just make a reference to me!" because I was not doing that. This is something I have had issues with for years, and I have only been a blogger for a few months lol. Like..3 of them..it is something I have wanted to give a voice to for a long long time.

Maybe there are others like me, who feel the way I do, or maybe it is just me and everyone will come down on my head for this. I don't know. Either way is okay, because regardless of what anyone says, I will have their answers and will know if I am alone in my thoughts or if others maybe wish it were a little more that what it has been as well...

Thanks for reading my ramblings lol..

Music of the Moment: Little Earth Quakes by Tori Amos*