Tuesday, October 12, 2010

In spite of myself....

I already know that I am my own worst enemy. This is nothing new to me.

This morning, when I woke, it was slightly drizzly outside. I am not sure if it was actual light rain, or if the heavy fog that has been blanketing the area the last couple of days had dampened everything to the point of being drippy. Either way, I latched on to that as an excuse not to walk today. " It is yucky out, I do not want to get sick." Along with " If I walk the dirt road, I will slog through mud, and if I walk the pavement some crazy driver will skid out of control and kill me..."

Those are the things I was telling myself at 6:45 this morning. I had made up my mind I was not going to walk today. Yet at 7:10 ( ten minutes before I have to walk Alex to the bus stop ) I found myself hurriedly throwing on my jeans and a shirt and putting on my tennis shoes. I ended up walking after all.

See, I am a horrible procrastinator, I have admitted that several times here. I know this about myself. But I also know that once I commit to something, and I do not do it, guilt eats me alive. ( Which reminds me, I owe a friend a tarot reading, crap. I forgot all about it. ) So even thought I had made up my mind not to go, the guilt set in immediately.  In less than 20 minutes I had worked myself up into a mental lather over it and went, and of course felt much better once I started, as usually happens.

Today there was something else in store for me. I got back to my road a little sooner than usual, maybe 5 or 10 minutes, and my neighbor was at the bus stop with her girlfriend's two kids, waiting to put them on the bus. I spoke to her and she asked if I walked every morning and I said yes, and she said she likes to walk the road but she is afraid to go alone. I then asked her to go with me of course. I told her that if she wanted to walk I had no problems switching my time to an hour later when her set of kids gets on the bus, and if she wanted to go I would be happy to have her company. She accepted right away. So I am happy about that for the most part, although I am worried in a way because I am not close to any of my neighbors, and I have lived her almost 5 years. I am hoping she does not think I am the most boring person in history and avoid me lol.

So now I have a walking partner, although her goals are probably not the same as mine, as she is not overweight at all. Now that I have someone to go with me, it adds a whole other level of accountability, because if I do not go, I am not only letting myself down, I will be depriving her of going, since she does not want to go alone. ( Hey, I am a pistol packing Mama and I make everyone feel safer ha! ) So I am excited.

Maybe it will turn into a "local" friendship. All my in the flesh friends live no less than an hour away, most of them in other states entirely. She is home all day like me, I am not sure if her girlfriend works or what as I can not see what time she comes and goes from my place. It should be interesting at any rate.

So in the end I am glad I went, and it seems the universe provided me with exactly what I needed at the time to keep me going. Funny how that happens sometimes!

Now if only I had more motivation to clean today! I seem to be running in circles, not accomplishing much but working myself to death lol. I need to make a plan and work smarter, not harder!

I hope you are all having a great week so far!

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