I have exorcised the demons!

Out of my computer that is. Maybe my mind too, but the jury is still out on that one.


I have been feeling a bit...snarly...the last few days. Went in to hiding, to spare the masses, and then decided to reload the operating system of my computer, because it was acting 3 kinds of possessed and not even my PC guru skills could get rid of the gremlins my beloved PC had.


Not to self: NEVER ever ever ever for fucks sake EVER reload the PC when your hair is on fire and spinning around in circles, waiting for the pea soup to spew forth. ( Think Hades from the Disney movie Hercules )


You know how it goes. When you are feeling like that, everything that can go wrong, will, in fact blow past wrong like it was standing still and head on to the 'OMFG the world is about to end' section.


If I had a sledge hammer last night...I would not be typing this today, I kid you not. The files I backed up? Corrupt. Trying to download files while not killing my meter? Pointless. Downloads not complete, had to redownload, meter got sucked dry. ( My bandwidth meter, I am on a limited plan. ) Luckily my music ( A full GIG of music, yes ) and my photos transferred over or I would have set this fucker on fire and danced around it in the yard. Well, in a barrel, we are in such a hot drought I would have been arrested...no burning allowed anywhere.


I still do not have all the programs back on here that I use regularly, I ran out of energy. Finally got to bed at 7 this morning and slept till 3:30 this afternoon, and miracle upon miracles, I felt AMAZING when I woke up. Further proof that I am a night owl at heart. I can sleep 8 hours at night, wake up in the morning and feel like shit all day. Sleep during the day and wake up in the afternoon and feel like a million bucks. Go figure.


I got up, scarfed down some food as it had been a full 24 hours since I had eaten last, and decided to tear shit apart and dust and rearrange some knick knacks. Jack then woke up from his nap so I decided to stop for today and warily use my PC, and other than FB, which always has something wrong with it, it seems to be demon free. Thanks to my day sleep, the demons from my head are also mostly gone. 



I am still kind of dreading tomorrow. We are going to eat at my parents, and because I am a broke bitch I can not get my Dad anything for Father's Day. Hopefully he will be happy with something Alex and I will make for him tonight. I know he will be, but I still feel like shit about it. Hopefully it will all be okay.


So enjoy your weekend folks, and Happy Pops day to the Dad's out there tomorrow. Expect a post about Jack tomorrow lol.


Stay cool folks!

Angry

I'm angry.


Angry at the promises you never kept.
Angry at the hopes you raised, and then dashed away.
Angry at the double standards you put into our friendship.
Angry at the eggshells I had to walk on.
Angry at the lies you told me.
Angry at the lies you told yourself.
Angry at being ignored for long stretches of time.
Angry that you had time for everyone and everything but me.
Angry that you decided to put on airs. Not that you will admit it.
Angry that I was so unimportant to you that you could just walk away.


Most of all, I am angry at myself, for letting it go on as long as it did, and because sometimes it bothers me still. 


I don't miss who you are.


I miss who you were....