Saturday, October 10, 2009

Am I a Bad Witch?

The month of October, the highlight of most Witch's Year, is well underway. The Halloween decorations have been in the stores since late August, houses are decorated already, the internet sites I frequent and the games I play are all decked out in their spooky finery. Everyone is in a state of anticipation and creamy goodness.

Except me.

Am I a bad Witch for wishing October were just done and over already? The contests and 31 days of....( and no I am not calling anyone out in blog land, because all that stuff is awesome fun lol ) is all over the internet..and it is all great fun, I have entered a jillion of them myself, but this is not what Samhain is about!

Maybe it is because so many Witches live in places they can only truly express themselves and come out of the Broom Closet for a single month out of the year. I get that. Maybe I have a hard time because even living in a place where the God Fearing and Gun Toting  people abound, ( And yes I am a gun toter too lol ) I have not been in the Broom Closet since I was like 15, I have a harder time relating.

Maybe it is because historically, the month of October sucks for me, with the exception of my babygirl's birth, even though she was born at 28 weeks, she survived and never suffered any health problems or delayed development over it.

I feel the same way about Yule/Xmas. Everyone is so worried about the commercial aspect of it, no one talks about or pays much attention to the real "reason for the season", no matter what religion they are.

Or maybe it is because the decor in my house is "Halloweeny" year round, so it desensitizes me to a degree.

Maybe it is because I have had 4 hours of sleep and I am grumpy and feel like "listening" to myself bitch, who knows lol.  I take that back, I am not grumpy, just tired...and when I am tired I tend to be more open with things that bother me.

In blog land, of the umpteen dozen blogs I follow ( and love, or I would not follow you lol ) very few have posted anything about Samhain, what it is, what it means to them, things they do for Samhain, things like that. Most of it is "Click here and here, and here..oh and here and here, to maybe win a shrunken head on a stick" (Please Goddess don't let any of the blogs I read actually be giving away a shrunken head on a stick or I am dead meat, oh please oh please) Of which I have done more than once this month *winks*

I guess I just expected Pagan blogs to be more...Pagan. Now don't get me wrong. I do not mean one of those stiff and formal types who have a 48 page ritual to honor the Dead. Those bore the shit out of me. I am eclectic and informal for a reason. It is who I am.

I don't know, maybe I am just rambling again. I do that a lot lol. I guess I just expected more from the Pagan Community at large this time of year. One of our local Pagan Pride festivals is this time of year, and I remember when it used to be about Pagans, and what we are, and what we do, and what it means to us. Now, it is about selling T-Shirts and buttons and posters that say " I survived the  Pagan Pride Festival of 2009", complete with little hordes of people with torches and pitchforks. No, I am not kidding. I know a few of the vendors this year, and have seen the template with my own two eyes. Funny? Yes. The point of a Pride festival? No lol. Not to me anyway.

I just feel like a bad witch at times because I do not buy in to all the other stuff everyone else seems to go apeshit for this time of year. I guess it has to do with my underlying issues with commercialism.

Well hopefully ya'll are not saying " Oh no that bitch did NOT just make a reference to me!" because I was not doing that. This is something I have had issues with for years, and I have only been a blogger for a few months lol. Like..3 of is something I have wanted to give a voice to for a long long time.

Maybe there are others like me, who feel the way I do, or maybe it is just me and everyone will come down on my head for this. I don't know. Either way is okay, because regardless of what anyone says, I will have their answers and will know if I am alone in my thoughts or if others maybe wish it were a little more that what it has been as well...

Thanks for reading my ramblings lol..

Music of the Moment: Little Earth Quakes by Tori Amos*


Mother Moon said...

How can you call yourself a "bad witch" because you speak your mind. You are only saying how you see things and truly your opinion is no more right or wrong than any other. I somewhat agree with you though.. I will admit that I love the giveaways as some of the things are truly awesome... yet it is only the 10th day of October (21 left) and I have wondered even before now... goodness.... You speak of ones coming out of the closet.. Possibly I guess... I think it is as many things are... there are all degrees of followers/believers, whatever you wish to call them/us... In whatever area or field you can think of.... Some are truly dedicated and fierce with their convictions and attention to their ways; others hold the same passion yet dont display it as rigidly... then there are some that display it flambouyantly and yet it is only for show... I guess one thing I learned growing up in the Bible Belt of Oklahoma is that you can't really worry about all those other people... You have to take care of yourself and be true to who and what you are. In the end you really only have the power to change who you are and what you do... It is only via an example that you may be able to change anyone else... So I say your blog was a good one... It says alot that I think many of us are already thinking yet just havent stood up and said yet and for others it may have hit them upside the head and knocked some sense into them... yet there will still be those who just remain oblivious to all of it and continue in their ignorance... I for one enjoyed the honesty and the bluntness of your observation... Keep it up.

Rue said...

Darlin' you gotta say, what you gotta say. Don't apologize for it. (Now, if you were naming names and flipping the finger...)

I don't know what goes on with everyone in blog land, but for me, I live my Pagan life fairly quietly. (Not hiding - just not flashing my pentacle at everyone.)

I do my daily practice, speak to the Goddess and God, the elements, my gardens, the earth. I light my candles, do my meditations, and spells, and rituals, all pretty much without fanfare. So I suppose that's why my blog is without much Pagan fanfare too. But that's just me.

I do enjoy reading about everyone's path. I hope your words have encouraged those who would like to write more about their practice, and don't because they may not feel like anyone cares! Cheers to you for being honest!

mel said...

Too funny -- you've totally voiced what's been going through my head for ages...well, since after Mabon and suddenly there's a Halloween giveaway at every turn...

I'm a quiet hedgewitch/eclectic/whatever-label-fits-at-any-given-moment...I'm not in the broom closet, nor am I a pentacle-waiving zealot either. I have purposely avoided mentioning Samhain, only because I simply don't *do* the commercial/Halloween angle, for me it's about honouring our ancestors and the like. I have a post brewing (ha ha) on what we do to honour the occasion but I think I'm going to wait until the actual day...y'know? Like not a month ahead?! *grin*

I agree - I think a lot of time, October is the only *safe* month for some folk to poke their heads out of the broom closet (and there are many valid reasons to stay in it)...hiding in plain sight, sorta thing I guess...


Anna said...

The point for many of us in the blog world to have a blog is to speak our mind and work through things for ourselves. Being honest about what we think/feel is important and hey if you upset or offend someone then you must have been more honest than you thought yourself possible. :-)

I think everyone feels the same no matter their beliefs the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season has finally started to raise a few eyebrows.

Good For You :-)

ps I hope to win something too!

The Traveler said...

We all do what we feel. You can't help that anymore than the revelers can help how they feel. And feeling like that about the holidays isn't uncommon, no matter what set you celebrate.

Anonymous said...

I think things are just different for a lot of people. October is not the month of Samhain for me, so I don't really focus too much on preparation for that until Oct. is almost over. October is the month of Halloween, which is not Samhain. I realize that a lot of witches do celebrate Samhain on Oct.31st, and it's commonly the day for it, but I was taught that Samhain isn't until November 1 and the astrological date for it(technicalities , I know) isn't until November 8th. So, that being the case, November is the month of Samhain. I do all my Halloween fun fanfare during October and on November 1 I start focusing on the remembering the spirits of those who've passed, making my resolutions, releasing the year's negativity, etc.

That being said, there is no way that you're a bad witch because you are honest about how you feel. You're not a bad witch because you hate all the over commercialization(I do too)of the holidays. You're not a bad witch. Not at all. You know what you're looking for at this time of year, and there's nothing at all wrong with that. We all have those times. There are MANY days that I wish there weren't so many giveaways and such, and there were more Pagany posts.

I tried to do all my Samhain posts before October 1, I'll resume with a Samhain post on November 1, and probably through until November 8.

But, do not think that you're a bad witch. Not ever. You're all good.

Not sure what I think of the Pride t-shirt you just That's almost a disturbing image to me. And I wouldn't buy that...

Anonymous said...

Bella I could kiss you!

There aren't that many of us who dare to say what we're thinking...and after all if we can't be honest on our OWN blogs (which are really our diaries)...where can we be?

Maybe people think we should all be nice and popular and fit in...not offend anyone...but that aint the point of blogging...leave that to the playgrounds...

Say what you's YOUR blog!
I do...(as you all know!)

And I totally agree with this "Halloween" madness...thankfully they don't really go for it over here!

Keep it up girl...I love it!

Lyon said...

I think a good witch is a person who explores their feelings and speaks their truth and that is what you are doing so I'm not sure how that could make you a *bad* witch. ;-)

For me...harvest and Samhain are a difficult albeit beautiful and also joyful time of the year that begins with the first harvest and ends with Samhain. Samhain is just the culmination for me and I've been doing my best to try to grapple with the harvest tide in my writings, but I do keep a lot of my cards close to my chest too.

Though as we get closer to the actual holiday I will probably be talking about things more specifically.

I do hear you and feel where you're coming from. And sometimes I get a bit disenchanted with some of the flag waving and rampant commercialism in our community as well. (those t-shirts you describe....that's really...special lol) I love a good party or giveaway as well as the next gal, too, don't get me wrong. There isn't anything wrong with fun! But all things in balance.

Bridgett said...

Bella, you're so far from being a 'bad' witch, it's not even funny.

Never apologize for voicing your thoughts and feelings...especially on your own blog!

I haven't posted much about anything witchy on my blog, mostly due to lack of confidence. I'm so new to this path (I officially dedicated the day before Beltane), that I'm just not comfortable giving opinions or relegating facts. I'm still learning. Which is part of the reason I read all your blogs...great ways to learn and educate myself.

But I do understand what you're saying here...I was just thinking to myself yesterday, "Wow, there are A LOT of giveaways going on right now." LOL

And it's not a bad's fun. But you're's not what Samhain is about. Not at all.

I suspect, in my practice, I'll be like LJ and celebrate Samhain during the first week of November. It just makes more sense to me and it frees up October 31st, so my kiddos and celebrate Halloween.

Anyway, there's my two cents about the subject. LOL

Enlightening, eh? :D


Unknown said...

I just discovered your blog and could relate to "Wanderings of a Wondering Mind" because I have one of those minds that wanders here and everywhere, in the past, present and future. So when I read your post I guess I understood what you mean. I like all the fun and going here and there this time of year. I love this time of year but feel the way you described about December. I admire all women who say what they really feel, that takes courage. You are right, we should be thinking what does Samhain mean to me? I think I'll just ponder on that! :)

Unknown said...

Oh and I added your button to my blog! Feel free to snag mine if you like!!

Anonymous said...

Oh I love it! I have felt like a bad blogger the past few weeks because I'm just not into blog giveaways any time of year, but even more so when there's like 300 every day. I've skipped over reading about 500 posts that are titled "giveaway" something or another. I just don't get it. I don't really feel that's what my blog should be about.