So I got horribly offended. Buy a friend none the less.
I was talking with a friend, and made the offhand comment that I was up to 91 followers on Google friend connect and over 40 on Networked blogs. This ( male ) friend then proceeded to say "Lucky you. Female, redheaded, beautiful. Like you are surprised?"
So apparently the only reason I have followers is because I am cute. It has nothing to do with the fact I am a pretty damn good writer if I say so myself. Nothing to do with the fact I am humorous. Nothing to do with the fact I am intelligent. Nothing to do with the passion in my writing. No. None of that matters. It is because I am "hot" ( which, I am not ) and no other reason.
95% of my followers are female. Last time I checked, most women do not blindly follow someone simply because they are good looking. I do not care if you are the most beautiful woman in the Universe, if I do not like what you have to say, I am not going to waste my time following you. I like to think most other women are the same way.
Then it came out that there was jealousy there, over my writing, and the fact I have more followers. Then it moved on to because they were having a rough time.
I say again...EXCUSE ME???
So because your having a rough time, that gives you the excuse and the right to insult my intelligence and that somehow justifies what you said and makes it OKAY??
I don't fucking think so.
If people do not like the way you write, who cares? Unless you specifically write only for others to read, then who gives a rat's ass how many followers you have, you write for yourself. If it Does bother you, then there is an "AHA!" moment, because obviously your kidding yourself when you try to say it does not matter who reads you, then you bitch and whine about how no one comments or you don't have many followers. If you DO care that people read you ( and of course it is perfectly acceptable if you do, we all like to be well received ) and you are not getting a lot of the kind of response you want, then change your writing style and most definitely the subject, but don't you DARE fucking insult my intelligence with your shitty comments like that.
Yes, I am pissed off and insulted, and after I have cooled off I may have not written this post, but I want to because not only does it let me vent, ( and, as this is my blog, I can say any thing I want on it ) but this may have happened to others, and damn it I want them to be mad about it too, because a lot of my followers are so intelligent, and funny, and witty, it almost intimidates me, and that is pretty hard to do. I have the utmost respect for these people, male and female alike, and to think that there are people out there who think the only reason they get anywhere or have any sort of success, be it large or small, is because they are "hot" burns me to a CRISP!
I value intelligence above all else, and anyone who has known me longer than five minutes knows this...and my friend is more aware of it than most...so not only am I hurt and angry that he said it at all, that he said it about ME, knowing me so well, and knowing the importance I place on intelligence, he might as well have slapped me upside the face. I sat here and I literally had my mouth hanging open, I was so stunned. Then I saw red. People, I am a redhead, and yes I can have a temper, but it takes a LOT to get me angry. I do not mean irritated or pissy, I mean full on ANGRY, and this made me blow off the charts in seconds!
Some of you may think I am making a big deal out of it, and that is fine, but folks, this hurt me and angered me and shocked me all at the same time. Women have struggled for centuries to be on more equal ground, to have it known that we are worth more than a maid and a cook, to have people realize just because we have boobs and lady bits, does not mean we have no brain cells. I love to cook, I love to be a housewife, but dammit there is SO much more to me than that! I have spent my whole entire life learning and studying and using my brain to as much of it's full capacity as I can as a human obtain.
So for someone to say the only reason I have success in whatever I am doing must be because I have a pretty face is akin to saying I am a freaking moron and it makes me angry.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. What a jerky thing to say. Jerky McJerky Face!
Or as my other best friend would say..."YOUR MOM!" (inside joke to make me feel better lol )
This now concludes the Bella Freak The Hell Out Hour, we now return you to your regularly scheduled program, already in progress....
I 'm sure yo already knew that but just to be safe... i do not follow your blog because you are hot!
Stupid sexist man! Do not let his poor judgment affect you. You are a Goddess both in and out!
Tbh it has taken me till now to even look closely at your photo. No offense!
I follow you because you make me smile, something that if the fellas ever sussed out would make the world go round a bit happier!
You are intelligent, write well, and have a knack for storytelling that keeps me on the edge of my seat with my jaw on the floor. Sure you're beautiful, but we all are.
Unfortunately, I've responded with latent jealousy to others' blog success as well. That is NOT beautiful. I put a lot of myself in my writing, open myself completely up, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and when it seems like nobody cares or follows, I've let it effect my own self worth, and have lashed out at others who are doing more successful so easily. I hope this blows over for you and your friend. It doesn't excuse the jealous reaction on his part, but hopefully this has been a wakeup call for him.
RAWR! Girl, I don't blame you for being angry. That's a steaming pile of horse poo. I cannot cannot cannot stand it when someone chalks some success in my life up to being female/the way I look. It couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that I have worked hard and might happen to be good at what I'm doing, oh no! Grrrrrrr.
I'm sorry this went down. I hope you guys end up getting things worked out between you and that venting helped you get some breath about the situation.
What a douche
Hmmmmm you have red hair ?
OK I must agree, What a douche.
Sometimes I actually feel sorry that men have to roam the Earth being so absolutely clueless and stupid. Other times, I want to smack them in their dumbass faces and tell them to put their dick down and pay attention.
That's a pretty low thing to say to someone, I don't blame you for being pissed off. And, I'm a follower here because you are an intelligent writer and I love to read your work.
sorry for the frustration.. yet glad that felt comfortable enough to vent... By the way Vincent wanted me to tell you that he thinks youre hot... but that is not the only reason we follow... you go girl....
You guys are awesome, thank you for the comments and support, it made me feel a lot better. I was so upset last night I was not in the correct mental space to talk it out and I went to bed shortly after posting, but I intend to talk it out later today now that I am more level headed about it.
Mother Moon, you and Vincent crack me up lol. Thanks for the compliment ;)
Thank you ALL for the love and support!
I really enjoy your posts (not because you are 'hot' -- though your pics are lovely)! Pay no attention to the mindless comments of another -- friend or no friend!
Personally, I struggle with my feelings about the 'success' of my own blog. Most days, I am fully comfortable with how things are going. After all, it is about an important journey in my life so who cares if anyone out there is interested? But then there are the other days when I wish I had more followers and comments and I wonder if the fact that I don't is a reflection on the importance of my journey. Rubbish, I know! But it happens!
@Inanna - Wow, that was rather offensive and stereotyped. Oh... ok, I see what you did there. =)
@ Ryan - Not many people get my subtle sense of sarcasm & irony : )
Ida been pissed too! It's just like I tell my teen daughter, people lash out because they are insecure or feeling threatened. It's sad but true.
Your a red head? Hey, now I have ANOTHER reason to follow you! JK
Wait..so I'm the only one who follows you because you are hot?
Seriously though - I'm sorry that your friend made you feel like crap. You know that we follow you because we love what you have to say and who you are. Don't listen to anyone that tells you otherwise!
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