Still kicking...

Hello boys and girls. Miss me?

I just wanted to pop in and give everyone a quick rundown on what has been going on in the House of Wolf.

First, I need to tell you about a change I made to the blog. Since I started this, way back in 2009, I have always had this bog set up so anyone could comment, even anonymous users. I switched over to moderated comments, because of the amount of spam I was getting. Now I am switching it to only users who are registered with Google or an Open ID can comment, and this is because I am getting over 70 spam posts a day. A DAY. It is crazy and it is pissing me off. I get so much crap email daily from these spammers and I am just sick of it, so I am going to try this for a while. Hopefully it will help. So to the one or two people who leave REAL comments under the anonymous handle, I apologize, but I have better things to do than sort through fake comments all day. It makes me want to not even come here, because I spend so much time getting rid of spam. So hopefully that will help.

Next, Jack got the results of his MRI back last Wednesday. He has a large bone fragment swimming around his spinal column ( which is probably what we heard pop loose the day he started having so many issues again ) and will now have to have a third surgery to remove it. It has been bad this time. He falls a lot, and he either can't feel his legs most of the time, or they hurt. So once that is approved, he will be  going back under the knife. We are less than thrilled.

I am still waiting for March 19th to roll around. I have an appointment with a neurologist on that day to start the process of finding out just what in the hell is wrong with me. I have also been approved for medicaid, which starts April 1st, so I can finally get help for my other issues.

Things still suck financially. If not for a couple of special people, we would be starving. We had to pawn something yesterday, which is one of the only things of value we have, to try to get some money for food, and it was not worth the gas money to go up there. On the upside, our rent is finally paid as is our light bill. But after that, there has not been anything left for gas or food in pretty much the last month.We have been surviving off of food bank donations and a lot of rice and beans. I know other people have it worse, and I am very grateful for what we do have...but this is getting very old. The feeling of security we had is so long gone we cannot even remember what it feels like. So we take it one day at a time.

( I still have, and will leave, my Paypal buttons up on the right side of this blog. I am not going to beg anymore, I do not have the strength to keep doing it, but they buttons are always there, if anyone can help. It would be very appreciated. )

Aside from that, it is basically same shit, different day around here. I am going to be doing a round of Spring cleaning this week and into next. I am going to tackle my closet and all of the cabinets in the house. Purging and cleaning, getting rid of things or moving them to better suited areas. Especially my kitchen cabinets. All of our cabinets are overhead, so when they get unruly, shit falls out on our my head. We do not have a lot of cabinet space to start with, so I need to create a better system for what space and content we have. Alex's room has been weeded through and is now basically ready to paint, so I will be working on that soon too.

I guess that sums it up for now. I will update when I know more.

I hope you all have a great day, and don't forget to comeback Friday and score some free ebooks!

Revelations: Part One

No...not the doom and gloom Revelations from the Bible. I have enough of that going on.

I mean personal revelations.

It has been a typical busy and crazy few days. This month has been a better one for me energy wise. I have several projects lined up, and for once, I have had the energy to work on them. I have been working on the dining table I have mentioned, repainted a kitchen wall, rearranged my bedroom ( which has improved our sleep quality so much it is amazing ) and a few other odds and ends.

 I was going to start painting Alex's room this week, but I have been having a flare up for the last couple of days. I still have energy, but my hands and arms are not being cooperative enough. I made a huge mess Monday...I had put the first coat of polyurethane on the table top, and was waiting for it to dry so I could lightly sand it before the next coat ( as the instructions say to do ) and I was making a pitcher of sweet tea. Right after I got the sugar stirred in I had a particularly violent muscle spasm in my arm, and I ended up knocking a gallon of sweet tea off into the floor. When the plastic pitcher hit the floor, the liquid in it EXPLODED everywhere. There was a tidal wave in the floor, and it splashed ALL over the walls, ( that we had just painted the night before ) the table that I had put the poly on not 20 minutes before, the ceiling, the stove, the cabinets, ME. I mean it was terrible. I was so frustrated as I cleaned sticky tea off of the floor and walls and everything...it made a huge mess of the table I was working on, as I could not wipe the spots out, and when I tried to wipe the walls down, the fresh paint which has not cured yet just wipes right off. So I had to repaint the walls, mop up that mess and wipe everything down. I was less than happy. The next day the rain came, and that is a huge trigger for me...so yesterday and today I am just hanging out and taking it easy, as I know until the rain goes away, I cannot rely on my body to do what it is supposed to.

When this happens ( the flare ups, meaning I have to take it easy ) I usually write, or spend time thinking about what to write. I have been having a blockage of sorts however. Not a writers block, as I actually have things I want to share, but a writers guilt blockage. I joined the Pagan Blog Project this year because I wanted to get back in touch with my sense of spirituality, and I thought that writing 4 posts a month on aspects of Paganism would help me do that. I think I managed all of two posts. At first things got a little hectic so I was going to just do a catch up post. I quickly found out that every time I had to come up with something to write about for it, I would stare at the blank web page and then suddenly want to go do anything other than write. I do not know how others may feel...but when I have something that I am supposed to be doing for my writing, and I am not doing it, I do not feel comfortable writing for myself in the blog, because I feel like everyone is watching my posts, waiting for the PBP post that I am supposed to be doing. Guilt sets in, and guilt gets in the way of my writing ANYTHING. My muse sits in the back of my mind and gives me disapproving looks.

So I started looking at it from all angles, as I tend to do. I realized that this was not the project for me, because I am not the kind of Pagan that does all the "pagany" stuff. I have no religion. I don't do the whole Goddess/God worship, I do not cast circles, or do huge rituals and all that stuff. I just do not feel the need to do all of that. I do believe in the sacred feminine, but males are just as sacred in different ways. Divinity is in all of us. WE are the Divine. I feel that all those gods and goddesses are manifestations of human qualities and traits. So if I call on Morrigan, I am not actually calling on a mystical entity..I am calling up the warrior spirit from within myself. I no longer have an altar...I gave my athame to my son. I still have a few "tools" and such, but it is because I enjoy them aesthetically, not because I need to use them to get into that head space to "work." So it was really hard for me to feel connected with the project, because sure, I could regurgitate Witchcraft 101 into 52 blog posts for the year...but it would not be very genuine, because I do not live that type of craft, and it would be something I dreaded doing every week. The project is awesome, and it deserves people who think it is fun and rewarding and will glean something good out of it. What it is does not need is someone who would feel almost like a fraud while writing for it. That is just not the kind of Pagan I am.

*Shrugs*

I still encourage everyone to go check out the Pagan Blog Project. I know a lot of amazing writers who DO practice those types of Paganism, and would have no problem writing about those types of things. One thing that has been awesome is reading all of the other people who have joined the project. I have read some really fantastic posts, even a few surprising ones. The best ones to me are the ones that take something seemingly unconnected to being a Pagan and spin it so that is DOES connect. I could probably do something  like that too, or maybe use the project to try to explain my version of the craft, but to be honest, I no longer feel the need to explain what I do to anyone. I have the same basic, and even advanced knowledge that most of us do, as many of us learn in the same way form the same sources..but what is different is how we each absorb that information and fashion it into the personal experience that being a Pagan is to us. I no longer feel the need to try to "fit in." I have my own set of practices and beliefs, and it works for me, it enriches my life and it makes me happy. At the end of the day, isn't that all that really matters?

I want to use my time studying and learning and growing...and writing about the things that resonate with me. As excited as I was to be a part of this, and as awesome as I still think the whole thing is..I realized that it is just not for me.

I wish the project and those who are participating in it great success! I look forward to reading all the great posts that they all come up with!

Stay tuned for Part Two coming soon!

So many things...

I have so much to write about, so many ideas bouncing around in my head that I hardly know where to start.

My mind has been racing for days with ideas for the overhaul I am about to do on the house, for the blog, for things I want to create, things I want to do on the fan page. I have been trying to write them all down as they come to me, but as they tend to hit me at night when I am trying to go to sleep, that can be hard to do at times. I do not have a nightstand or anything, so keeping a little notepad is out of the question for now. BUT, I am about to move my bed, so once I do that, I will have room for a little table. Right now my side of the bed is against one of the walls.

Anyway, there are sooo many things I am going to be doing. I have decided to make the month of February a "Project Month." I am going to spend all of this month working on the house. Moving things, redecorating ( with things I already have ) painting, and getting things "right."

We finished the bulk of the kitchen table and chairs Monday and brought them in the house. I still have to paint the tiles on the top, but that is an inside the house job as I need it to be climate controlled for this particular paint to dry quickly. I am so thrilled with the table already. It has been so nice to sit here and eat together, and to have work space other than my desk and the very limited counter space I have here. Once I paint the tiles, which will be this weekend I think, I will do a dedicated post just for it instead of throwing a few pics of it in to this post. I want to be able to post them all at once so you can all see it from start to finish. I am really proud of us, it looks great and it really made the house feel so much different. More homey. It made me want to do so many other things. Hence the project month.

I will have to do most of it myself, as Jack is unable to do much still. He had two back to back MRI's today, one with contrast dye and one without. The radiation makes him really sick, so he was not feeling well at all when he got out of there. I had to drive home. We stopped at a grocery store and spent the last 22 dollars to our name to get a little food to hopefully get us through till the 9th when my stamps come in, but 22 bucks does not go very far these days. This month sucked, as we had to renew our insurance policy and renew the tag on the truck this month. We had to get an extension on our light bill, as we could not afford it. We will probably not be able to afford it on the 14th, which is when it is now due either, especially since our rent has been raised...but at least we have power until then. I have borrowed all I can borrow and asked everyone I can ask, so there just is no where else to turn.

So instead of dwelling on what I can not change, I will work on what I CAN change.

On to other things, Vickie at Aoibheal's Lair, who was participating in the Ten Things Thursday with me, has decided to move on and stop doing the Thursday post. She said she feels it is time to move on, and that it is hard coming up with a theme each week. I totally agree with her on this. Even though I "created" the weekly meme, I, too, find it increasingly hard to find ten things to write about in such a manner. So while I am not going to stop doing it totally, I am no longer going to try to do it weekly. ( Not that I have managed to do so in the last few weeks anyway LOL ) Now I will do it when the mood strikes me. I am also tossing around ideas in my head for a couple of new segments here on the blog. Not an every week thing, because I have learned that my life will almost always prevent me from posting when I am "supposed" to, so I will post them on the day they are named for when I get the chance. I have beaten myself up emotionally over my blog so much, because I feel like I should be here every second of every day, writing away, when the reality is I have to write as time and circumstance allow. I have noticed that when I stop bullying myself about it, I tend to write more, and the words come a lot easier than if I am screaming at myself that I should be writing.

I feel big changes coming. I hope that some of them are good for once.

Ten Things Thursday: Blogs I love!

I am a little late tonight, I know, but after a hectic week, I took today just do pretty much nothing. It was nice to not have to do much of anything. I deep cleaned yesterday, well, the living room, kitchen, and office area, so there was nothing nagging in the back of my mind to get up and do something. I almost did not blog today, but I did mention on the fan page last night that I would post today, so here we go.

Today I am going to be brief, because the blogs I am going to direct you to will speak for themselves. I love reading other people's blogs, and these are just ten of those. These are in no particular order, and do not feel left out if your blog is not listed here, as I intend to do this list once a month this year. So without further ado, here is the first installment of Blogs I Love! ( Click the title of each blog to be taken to that blog, it will open in a new window! )

1. Aoibheal's Lair

I know I add Vickie to all most every list I make for these types of things, but she is seriously one of my favorite people on this Earth and I love her blog very much, and I would even if we were not good friends. She writes about all kinds of things. Magic, and recipes, and life in general, both the light and the dark side. She and I are very much alike *in my opinion* and I just love her. Go check her out, and you might love her blog too!

2. The Secret Life of the American Working Witch

As I am  sure most people know, this is Kallan Kennedy's blog. She lights a fire in me, to learn, to stand up for what I believe in, for justice, and many other things. Her weekly "Sunday Stew" is something I look forward to all week!  The more I get to know her, the more I love her.

3. Down to Earth

This blog is amazing. It is all about living simply, and having practical skills like cooking, knitting, soap making, gardening, sustainable living, budgeting, the works. It gives the feeling that you are reading your grandmother's blog. ( I mean this in the best way possible! )

4. Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock At A Time

I love the way Amber writes. She is hysterically funny, realistic and down to earth, and she is one of my  all time favorite blogs to read. She also has some the most adorable kids I have ever seen.

5. The Oddly Normal Life of a Pagan Mom

This is a new find for me, but it has quickly become one of my favorites. I enjoy the way she writes ( Long and detailed posts, which I love to read and write. The fact that social networking has reduced a lot of people's attention spans to gnats, which results in a lot of two-short-paragraph blog posts irks me. ) When I read  her posts, it feels like I am listening to a dear friend tell me about their day or what is happening in their life. It feels natural. I enjoy it immensely!

6. Merlin's Magical Mistress

This blog has a little bit of everything. Magic, recipes, tips, music, great pictures, and a lot more!

7. Daddy Doin' Work

I guess you would classify this as a "Daddy Blog," but I consider it so much more. He is funny, intelligent, kind and loving, adores his family, and is one of the most upbeat and positive bloggers out there in my opinion. I love this blog!

8. Pray to the Moon

This is also a recent find for me, but I am enamored with this blog already. Magical, with lots of images and various "Moon" related things,  it is a blog that will engage the senses.

9. The Country Cook

Y'all know I had to throw a foodie blog in there at some point, right? Great recipes and gorgeous pictures make this a very yummy blog!

10. Bohemian Valhalla

An art blog of sorts, Bohemian Valhalla is a photo heavy experience in beautiful chaos. Making art from found treasure, there is always something new and wonderful to be seen. I can spend hours there!

There you have it folks! Ten  blogs that I love to read and spend time at. Do you have any favorites that you want to share with me? Leave them in the comments!

Sick, but thankful.

I think I have the plague y'all.

Alex had been sick for most of the last two weeks, and I have been sick for a little over a week. It will just not go away. We have all these meds and I have cleaned and sprayed disinfectant on everything. It sucks.

We had to miss Thanksgiving with my Mother because of it. As long time readers know, she only has the bottom half of her lungs. She had to have the top removed due to advanced COPD 7 or 8 years ago now. So we could not be around her, as if she gets a chest cold it can kill her. She was so nice though, when I called her Wednesday to cancel, she said that she would bring us plates on Thanksgiving so we would not miss out on all the yummy food. She called me and told me she was going to leave it on my steps, so I would not infect her lol. I stood in the doorway and waved and talked to her across the yard for few, and brought the food in. It was so good! I am still bummed I did not get to go over there though. This illness picked a bad time to present itself!

However, we will still get to celebrate. We got the stuff to make our own Thanksgiving dinner with a friend whom we do not get to see very much anymore, and Jack and I are going to cook a big dinner on Sunday. Jack is going to smoke a turkey, and I have a huge spread planned. I am excited, it should be great. I am just hoping I feel good enough to cook. This cold is kicking my ass. I am taking one more day of rest today, as tomorrow we will be power cleaning to get ready for Sunday, we we can cook and not worry about having to clean too.

I wish I had a nice huge house, so I could invite my Mom and a few other people...I would love to take over Thanksgiving every year, and let Mom not have to worry about it anymore, but I live in a postage stamp...we do not even have a kitchen table, so I can never invite more people than can fit on my furniture in my living room lol. Maybe one day :)

So that is where I have been. I have not been around to much, other than playing games on FB...that is all I have had the mental and physical energy for. I miss all of you guys and gals so much though, and I was bummed that I did not post here on Thanksgiving, so I had to come in today and suck it up long enough to let you all know that I am alive, and I am so very thankful for all of you. I have met some of the most amazing people because of my blog, and I am happy to call so many of you friends. I hope that those who celebrated had a wonderful day, and everyone else too.

I have so many things planned for the blog, so many ideas...I just need to get rid of this crud and get back on my feet.  I do not get sick often, but when I do, it more than makes up for time missed lol.

I love you folks, and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I will be back soon!

One More Cop Out :NaBloWriMo Day 12

I know, three days in a row and the posts have been the bare minimum. I am so sorry, it is just a really busy and difficult week. Stupid shit keeps happening, and the closer it gets to the ash scattering for my dad  tomorrow, the more heart broken I get...

This has just been the longest and one of the most messed up weeks I have had in a long time.

I have no energy to really write. I just need to get through tomorrow, and then hopefully things can return to what passes for normal around here.

Thanks for hanging in there with me. Things have to get better at some point, right?

Until tomorrow...

Ten Things Thursday: 10 Awesome Things That Happened This Week

Good evening everyone!

I bet you thought I would not do this, since I am posting so many other things each day, eh?

SURPRISE!

I almost did not, due to it being so damn late and I am tired...but I still wanted to do it so here I am.

This week I am doing Ten Awesome Things That Happened This Week.

Ready?

1. So. Much. Writing.

Seriously. There is so much writing to be done this month in general, but this week, the start of it all, has been so damn awesome. Add to that the fact I got asked to do an author interview? Psssht. I am so freaking thrilled.

2. Jack is returning to normal

This would have been number one if not for how happy I am about all the writing. Jack has been a total ass due to being in pain and zonked out on mood altering pain meds, lack of sleep, not wanting to eat...it has been terrible. The last couple of days have been so much better. His mind and temperament is returning to normal, even if his body is still healing. The stress is so much less. That means I can function so much better if I am not walking around on eggshells. For real.

  3. Closure

Not to sound morbid or anything, but now that there is a fast approaching concrete date for us to scatter my father's ashes, I feel better. No more will we have that looming over our heads, dragging on. It will all be over and done with, and then we can begin to heal in earnest, and not have this duct tape patch over our hearts, holding us together until we could do this last thing, which is spread his ashes as he wanted.

4. The weather

Even thought the temperature is bouncing around from cool to hot, as is typical for early Fall in Florida, the evenings have been much cooler finally, and I have been able to open my bedroom window at night with a fan stuck in it, drawing the cool air into my room. I have been sleeping so much better. Last night the air was cooler, AND it was raining. I was sleeping SO deeply. It was awesome. I can not wait until the temps stay cooler during the day so I can keep the house open all the time.

5. Bones is back

Fall means that some of my rare TV shows come back. (Rare meaning I hardly ever watch TV, unless it is something to do with Gordon Ramsey..) First to come back is the show Bones, which I adore. I love the characters of that show, they are all so awesome, and I actually think about them when the show is off for the season lol. Oddly enough, I do not care for the books the series is based on at ALL. I do not like that version of Brennan. I like the TV version so much better. Plus, I relate to her...I am a walking textbook at times, ask my friends lol. SO misunderstood *winks*.

6. New friends

I have had the fortune to meet some new people over the last couple of months, mostly through the writing projects that I am a part of, and I am very happy about that. They are awesome people, and I am proud to be associated with them.I look forward to getting to know them even more as time goes on.

7. Fall Food

Aww yeah. Chili, soups, stews, casseroles. I am so happy that there is a nip in the air, because the first thing I want to do is start making hearty things to eat for us. Tomorrow I am making potato, onion and bacon soup for dinner. Alex will be in love, it is one of her favorite meals.

8. Spark

I love this time of year, for many reasons, but the main one is my spark, my fire returns. As the darker half of the year approaches, I feel something inside of me return to life...like a hibernating animal, only I sleep during the hot and miserable days of Summer, and I revel in the cold, crisp nights, and the clear and chilly days. My energy comes back, I have more focus, I want to be busy all the time. These writing gigs came at the perfect time...in the first few days of the awakening, when everything is fresh and new feeling.  I am still sluggish enough to be exhausted by the time bedtime hits, but not long after waking I am full of fire and feeling good. The colder it gets, the better I feel. Until full on Winter hits and I will be shivering and bitching about my ankle, but until then, it will be awesome lol.

9. Books

I have picked up so many kick ass books for my tablet ( or rather, the kindle cloud reader, as I do most of my reading here on the desktop these days ) that I am now totally sure I will never be able to read them all in the rest of my lifetime, but still, every day I go and get more. I am a book whore, which works, since being a book whore and leaving a book review is what got me the gig writing the author interview. Woot!

10. Movies

I have not watched any movies in a while, I just have so much going on I do not have the time or the focus to sit down and watch a whole movie, but we had company over the weekend, and I watched The Avengers ( which was awesome even though I missed a bit in the middle, I had a couple of things to do ) and The Hunger Games, ( which sucked ass; I mean I know most movies never do the book justice, but that movie was terrible ) and it was nice to sit down and chill for a while, and watch a good movie with good company. Jack even sat out here with us in the living room for the first time since surgery. He paid for it later in the pain department, but it was nice to "see" him. I am usually here at my desk, and he is usually in the bedroom, laying down and watching TV or playing his game on the PS3...resting. So it was almost "normal" for a few hours. It was nice.




So there you have it folks. This week has been pretty awesome for me, and now you know why. I am happier and more relaxed mentally, and really busy physically, which is pretty awesome. Now, my writing is FINALLY done for the day, and I STILL have several things to do before I can fall in to bed tonight. But you know what? It is "Friday Eve" ( phrase coined by one of my friends/readers Robin's son ) which means tomorrow is the start of the WEEKEND! This witch is SO sleeping in this weekend! I hope you enjoyed all the posts today, and I will be back dark and early in the morning!

Have a great night folks!

Hi, my name is Bella Foxglove and this will be the best month ever.

Good Monday Morning all you wonderful people.

October is finally here, and I am bound and determined to make it the best month ever. So many awesome things are happening in the blogging world, and I am so excited to be a part of it.

Things finally kick off in a few minutes over at Samhain's Sirens. Please check out the BLOG and the FACEBOOK PAGE to keep up with all the fun. There will be giveaways, recipes, craft ideas, music, blog posts, and much more from some really awesome people.

Today also kicks off the start of NaBloWriMo. Be sure to check out the BLOG and the FACEBOOK PAGE for that too!

Today, I am going to introduce myself, as there will hopefully be new faces here. I am going to copy the bio I have over at the Samhain's Sirens blog page, as it sums it up pretty well.

I am a Southern Pantheist Witch living in North Florida with my husband and three children. I am not traditional by any stretch of the imagination. I make it up as I go along. I have wandered my ever winding path as a Pagan since I was 13. I still find it hard to believe that was 20 years ago. My life has been one hell of a ride, and even though it is has been very difficult at times, I am glad to say that each and every day I have become stronger and wiser because of the things I have been through.

I have many interests. I love to cook, yet baking eludes me, with the exception of breads. I am in love with Gordon Ramsey. I think I could woo him with my sarcasm and make him fall madly in love with me lol. I am a bookworm of the highest degree. I love music of all types. I am a writer and a blogger. I am always looking for more writing opportunities. I have a tendency to overanalyze everything. I am very much interested in Herbalism and natural medicine. I love to paint in abstract, due to the fact I cannot draw a straight line most days. I can carry on entire conversations comprised of nothing but movie quotes. I am the Queen of useless information. I like to say that you never know when some random bit of knowledge will come in handy one day, and indeed it has! I am a bit of a packrat, mostly with paper. I have a pen and writing implement obsession.

I am very much a Taurus, yet just as much the Leo of my Moon sign. I am logical to a fault at times. I must have incense burning at all times except when I am sleeping. I am addicted to lotion; I must apply it several times a day. I tend to see things from all sides at once. Sometimes that is a huge blessing, and sometimes that is a big curse.

I am an admitted introvert. I am fine in social situations, but I prefer to be at home where I am comfortable. I have a close knit group of friends, most of them I have had since I was a child, and they mean the world to me. The remainder of my friends are online, as I live way out in the woods. I do not get to see even the in-person friends very much, due to geographical locations, so they are sort of online friends as well. I have met so many wonderful people thanks to the internet, and once I started blogging I was introduced to a whole new world of people, and have been fortunate enough to know some of the most intelligent, fun, interesting, and diverse individuals. Some of my best friends live in my computer, as they say! *Winks*

If you want to know more, you can read about my everyday life at www.bellafoxglove.blogspot.com. I talk about all kinds of things, and I post recipes and other tidbits from time to time. Oh yeah, I sometimes curse, a lot. Consider yourself warned ;)

For more frequent updates, and to talk to me in real time, you can find me at the fan page for the blog here: Tales of the Wolf Queen

For those that know me, I would say this sums me up pretty well, don't you think? For those who are new here, this is a great start into who I am, and I hope you will stick around so we can get to know each other!

So I am going to end this post for now, as I have more goodies to come, and I want to get started on those!

Have a wonderful day everyone, and check back often, as there will be lots going on here this month!

Just rambling...

That is all I am writing today.  Random and rambling thoughts. I have no set topic, I just want to write, and to purge, to make space in my brain.

I changed the blog layout some. I am not finished, but either my computer or Blogger is acting strange, it will not let me implement any more changes. Maybe it was a sign to leave it alone for now, who knows.

I have a few writing projects in the works. I will be participating in NaBloWriMo, which is posting a blog post daily for the entire month of October. I am looking forward to it. Last year got screwed up by me breaking my ankle, so I am hoping this year I will be able to complete the month as planned. I am also participating in the Samhain Siren's project, which I am very excited about. If you click the link there, it will take you to the Facebook page that was created. If you are on FB, please "like" the page so you can stay updated. There is also a blog which is where all the magic will be happening in a little over a week. There will be blog posts, giveaways, music, and much, much more. I am honored to be included in this wonderful group of people.

I also need to do some writing for Planet Buddha, which I have not done in a little while, which I am not happy about. Not happy about not writing, not the fact that I need to write lol. I love it there. As most of you know, this year has been hectic and mostly difficult, and every time I sit down to write, something happens that I have to tend to, and when I do get to sit here, my brain is so tired and weary, I just stare at the blank screen, and the words won't come.

I do not really want to talk about Jack, since every second of every day is all about Jack right now, but there is something I feel the need to purge. Ever since surgery he has hardly slept. Not really due to pain, although there is that, but he just can not seem to stay asleep for longer than 30 minutes to an hour. He has probably gotten 6 or 7 hours of real sleep in an entire WEEK. It is starting to affect his mind and body. He is hearing things, songs, radios playing, where there is no music around. We do not even HAVE a regular radio in the house. His temperament is terrible. He is now always irritated and snappish, and has serious mood swings. He does not do it on purpose, I know that. I can SEE the delusional gleam in his red and weary eyes. He has started throwing up, randomly, and violently.He will get upset over something, which is 1000 times worse than it should be, due to lack of sleep, and suddenly he just runs to the bathroom and projectile vomits. It is terrible. Today I put a call in to his doctor about it, but of course we have to go through that bitch nurse, so who knows when we will hear from them. In the meantime, I dosed him with some of my melatonin. Since it is a natural compound of the body, our brains produce it naturally, I figured it would be safe to give him, it should not interact with his medicine that he is taking. He is still getting up and down today, but he has been laying down for about an hour, I hope he is asleep. Or not, the bedroom door just opened. *Sighs* He just can not seem to stay asleep. I sent him back to bed. Our bedroom is like a cave, I can not sleep when there is any light, and I basically forbade him to turn the TV on in there, so hopefully it will make it easier for him to drift off. I do not know what else to do for him. His body can not heal properly when he is unable to sleep and recover. I am at a loss. Hopefully the doctor can help him.

I am tired myself. So tired. Everything seems to take so much more effort than it should. I feel like I am stuck in mud or quicksand, and the harder I try to fight it and get out of it, the faster I sink. I need a break, but I know there will be none for quite some time.

I have been reading a lot. It keeps me distracted, and helps to keep me sane. I have been reading a lot of memoirs and biography type books, true stories, things like that. I am reluctant to admit it, but I like reading stories of people who have had it worse than me, it makes me feel a little bit better, as selfish as that sounds. It helps to know that there are other people out there, who have nothing to do with my life, that have it rough too. It is somehow comforting.

I guess that is it for now. The words are not flowing anymore, and I am grasping for things to say, so I think I will end here. I hope you all have a great week and a wonderful day.

Ten Things Thursday: 10 Things I am Grateful For.

Today I decided to do a Ten Things I am Grateful For post. Things have been tough here, which I have written about, but there are a lot of things I am very thankful for, and I thought this week I would list them, partially as a reminder to myself that when things get crazy, there are things to hold on to that will get me through.

1. Family

Both blood and chosen, I am so grateful for my family. Jack is my rock and the kids are my world, they are the reason I get up every day, the reason I keep trying, when sometimes I just want to run away or sleep it all away. I am thankful my Mother still walks this Earth, even if we do not always get along. I am thankful that the last eight years with my Dad were so good before he passed. I am so thankful for my chosen family, my friends, my adopted brothers and sisters. The ones who give me their unwavering love and support, even when I am moody and grumpy, or weepy and hopeless, or stressed out and pulling my hair out. Without them, and their love, support, encouragement, and assistance, I would be lost.

2. My home

I do not have a very large and glamorous house, but I have a comfortable home. We are not rich, or drive a fancy vehicle, but our truck is reliable and gets us where we need to go. We do not have a lot of money, and a lot of the time we have to scrape up enough to make ends meet, but at least we have those things. So many are without homes and vehicles and enough food to eat, and while times can be tough, we have those things, and I am so thankful for that.

3. The Internet

I know it may sound frivolous or cheesy, but without my net I would probably go insane. It is how I talk to my friends, it is how I write, it is how I learn and stay informed, and it is how I stay entertained. My life would be much more lonely and boring without the internet.

4. Writing and Blogging

I am thankful I have the ability to write. To release, to inform, to make people laugh, to be a part of different communities because of my writing. I have met some of the most amazing and dear to me people due to me being able to string together cohesive sentences in my little corner of the internet. Writing is like breathing to me; vital, important, and necessary.

5. Alex's Amazing School and Teachers

Alex is in a small Charter School, and I am so in love with it. It is small and dedicated to it's students. It is a Science and Art focused school, which is perfect for the creative soul that Alex is. Her teachers are all totally amazing, and they go out of their way to make sure Alex and the other students get the attention they need to truly be successful, and I feel it is because of them that Alex loves school so much. I am so thankful for them.

6. Books

I am a bookworm, and books have been my friends when there was no one around. I have read books that literally changed my life, and some that may have even saved it. Books make me happy, they fill me up, and now, in the digital age, I have more books on my computer and other devices than I can probably read in what is left of my lifetime, but I still add more daily. Books are like my children, precious and needing love. I am thankful that I love to read, and have so much material to work with.

7. Food and Cooking

This one ties into the home one in a way, as I am glad we finally have enough food to eat, but it goes beyond that. I love to cook, and I enjoy food. It engages all of my senses, and the act of cooking grounds me and I am in an almost zen state when I am in the kitchen working on a recipe. Nothing makes me feel more accomplished than when I have made a recipe that everyone loves. If I were to win a Pulitzer one day, the truth is, if you told me my dinner last night was the most amazing thing you have ever eaten, it would probably make me three times as happy as winning the award lol.

8.Love

Again, it may sound cheesy, but I am the woman who felt for most of my life that I was not good enough, that no one would ever really love me for who I am, instead of who they think I should be. I have been through a lot of pain because of a lack of love, and it colored my whole life, so now, that I am surrounded with love and acceptance, it is a miraculous thing to me. I have a wonderful husband, amazing kids, a few solid family members, and the most AMAZING friends that anyone could ever ask for. They are all so diverse and intelligent and talented. Luckily they seem to feel the same way about me, so the fact that I am surrounded by love, and can finally give love in return, makes me feel that my life is so much richer because of it.

9. Being able to roll with the flow

This year, ( and others in my life ) have been tough, but I think I have gotten pretty good at riding the waves in the ocean of my life. There have been times I felt I would drown in the turbulent seas, but so far I have been able to keep my head above the water, and I am proud of that fact. Being bi-polar and prone to fits of depression and apathy, it would be rather easy just to sink beneath the waves and stop fighting, and to be honest I have considered it more than once. Something in my spirit will not let me do that though. It commands me to fight, to reach the surface once more, to keep trying to reach the shore. In my past, the easiest way to deal with my problems was to run from them, pick up and start over, instead of trying to fight for what I had.  I am thankful that I have the will to stand my ground now, to dig in my heels and push back when life starts trying to engage me in a shoving match. I am so much stronger and so much more whole than I used to be. Now, with the love and support I have, not only from my friends and family, but FOR MYSELF, I feel that I can get through anything.

10. You

That's right. You. The one sitting here reading this. I am so grateful for YOU. Each and every one of you, that come here and share my world with me. You have laughed with me, some of you have even cried with me. You have shared in my triumphs and have felt sympathy for my despair. I write for myself, meaning even if no one ever read a word I have written, I would STILL write...but you...knowing you ARE here, reading my words, helps me to feel connected to something so special. Some of the closest people in my life I have met right here, through this blog. I have been given so many wonderful opportunities because of you. So today...while I am thankful for you all every day....today I am especially grateful that you are all here, and are a part of my life. You make my world a richer place to live in. Thank you.

Summer winds down to a close...

Good Monday Morning my lovlies! I hope your week is getting off to a great start!

Summer vacation is winding down to a close here in the House of Wolf, and I am glad for it. It has been a long and difficult Summer, and Alex has not had the best of vacations, as we did not get to do anything due to Jack being hurt, my Dad dying, and just general crap. I know she is anxious to get back to her friends and have some fun, and I am ready for her to have that as well, in addition to the relative peace and quiet I will have here.

I am looking forward to writing more here, and over at Planet Buddha, now that I will have more time to devote to it.

Tomorrow is Alex's open house, and they start school on Thursday, for half a day, with a full day Friday, which I find ridiculous. I never understood why the kids just can't go back on a Monday and be done with it.  I guess they are trying to ease the kids back in to it. But yeah, we are ready.

No new developments with Jack yet. Still no second surgery approval, and we have contacted a lawyer. I am not really allowed to talk about it anymore, due to insurance companies having people troll the internet looking for things to use against people when they get a lawyer, so until all that is over, I will not be mentioning it much. There is no change, he is not improving, as he has not had surgery, so I will leave it at that.

I am doing better myself. I have actually had a few days where I have not thought of my Dad at all, not the sad parts anyway. I still tell him goodnight and kiss his little container of bone dust before I go to bed, but I will probably do that for the rest of my life. There are not really any tears anymore. So healing is taking place.

Nothing else is really happening here at home, things are in a holding pattern until school starts, so we are just hanging around for these last few days until school routine becomes the norm again. Last night was the OFFICIAL start of Operation Bedtime, as all attempts last week died a fiery death, so I said to hell with it, I will start Sunday. Which we did. Of course, the bedtime is more for ME, since I have the issues dragging my ass out of bed that early in the morning. I am not so much worried about Alex, once school starts she will be tired and go to bed on time, just like always. Kids are very adaptive that way lol.

I got up at 8 this morning, although I was awake at 7, I was just enjoying the lounging in bed feeling, I do not get that often. All Summer it has been up all night, sleep most of the day and jump out of bed as soon as my eyes open because it is so late. So it was nice to lounge a bit and wake up fully. I feel good. As much as I am a night owl at heart, I like the routine myself when school starts. I will be fully ready to sleep in when next Summer rolls around, but for the most part, once we get on schedule, things will be great.

Things are about to pick up over at Planet Buddha as well, I can feel it. We have some new writers, and hopefully will have another here in the next couple of days. I have been blessed with an Admin role there, and I am SO happy and excited to be a part of the group there. Everyone there is so kind and intelligent and amazing. It feels like a second home. I feel really good about the whole experience and I am looking forward to working more there.

I think that about sums it up for this post. I am really excited about things to come, great things are in the works!

Have a great week everyone!!

First post over at Planet Buddha!

As I mentioned before, the awesome folks over at Planet Buddha asked me to be a contributor to their blog, and I accepted. My first post is up over there, so feel free to check it out HERE and show some love if you feel so inclined ;)

See ya there!

Shameless self promotion!

So as I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I made myself a Facebook Fan page. I have the little widget over there in the left hand column, but it likes to show double pictures and is generally wonky, so I thought I would post a link directly to the page.


It will make me happy and feel full of rainbows and butterflies and other random happy things so click HERE and make me feel special, okay?


K Thx Bai!

What I write, and what I don't..

Well I dropped the ball already on the 30 days of truth, and I will catch up, I promise. Just have not seemed to be here enough to get them done!

Today I want to write about...well...what I write, and what I do not write, and the reasons for it. It seems there has been an uproar in the blogosphere about plagiarism. Nasty stuff. My blog is Memoirs of a Crazy Witch..it started as a joke between a good friend and myself, and with her permission I adopted the name for myself, my "brand" as it were. I love my blog, and the friends I have made and the experiences I have had since I started my blog.

One thing you might notice, is that while I am Memoirs of a Crazy Witch, I do not write about witchy things very often. There are a couple of reasons for that. One, and most importantly, is because of what kind of witch I am. I am very eclectic and not overly structural. I do what suits me on a day to day basis. What fits me today might not fit me tomorrow, and trying to blog about that would be fairly exhausting. The second reason is the fact that I probably will not write a single thing about Witchcraft that has not been written 400 times by 400 other people. I hate to repeat myself, and I certainly do not like it when other people do it, so I just choose not to write about it very much unless something happens in particular. The other reason is people are very sensitive about copyright and plagiarism and copyright infringement. The problem with being in the circle of Pagan blogs is that at some point we are all most likely going to somehow copy something one of us said somewhere else. No matter how careful you are, it will probably happen. Even me, who tries very hard not to do such a thing, or post many pictures I did not take myself, or write things not from my own head, had an issue with the picture I used on my blog button before I slapped my own mug up there. I spent hours combing the royalty free picture sites, looking for the perfect image to use, and I found it. 8 months later Google high-jacked one of my posts and told me I had been reported for infringement and said some nasty things and if I did not change it then my blog would be shut down, blah blah blah.

At first I was livid. I spent hours looking for something that would NOT steal from anyone, and then to take down a post that did not even have an image in it ( my button is on my sidebar, where is always is ) really set me off. After a little while I cooled off and realized that even if the picture was royalty free at the time, the owner could at any time decide to copyright it, which is their right. So I got over it, made a button from a picture I took and them edited myself, and moved on.

These days however, there are flame wars and battle lines drawn all the time. Some people deserve it. They intentionally copy and could care less what the owner of the content or anyone else thinks about it. That is awful. People work hard to provide content for their blogs, and do tons of research and link backs and all kinds of things to be sure their blog is on the up and up, and for these people to come in with blatant disregard and say it is their own disgusts me. On the other hand, people make mistakes. Some people are not knowledgeable about the copyright laws and intellectual property and so on. We, as Pagans, have enough issues being accepted and not being ostracized as it is without 100 people from your own community coming down on your head when you screw up. Most of them are NOT nice about it. It is not a simple heads up, it is an all out attack. If I copied from Jane Doe's blog by accident, then I expect Jane Doe to come to me and say "Hey, not sure what the deal is, but that is mine, please rewrite it, credit it, or take it down." and then follow proper channels from there if nothing is done or I tell her to get bent and leave it as is. If one of Jane Doe's followers notice I did that, I expect them to go to Jane Doe and tell her, and then Jane Doe will come to me. I do not expect a flock of people to descend on my head with threats and abuse. It is none of your business. It is between Jane Doe and myself.

I honestly think that unless you are telling a story about your own experiences that anything you say on just about any subject has already been written by someone. People post the same links, the same content, they even have the same opinions. They are not copying said person's opinions, they just have the same one. It happens all the time. That is why I generally only post about what happens in my day to day life, as boring as that might be to others. It is safe, no one can claim I took it from them, and I do not have to worry about someones supporters coming down on my head for what may have been an honest mistake.

People take sides. People have supporters and loyal fans. This is natural, and it is wonderful to have such loyal readers and friends. But even if Jane Doe posted something I wrote word for word, I would not want any of my readers to swoop down on her and call her names, question her character and motives, or heap abuse on her head in support of my name. The thought of that horrifies me, to be honest. I would expect them to trust me enough to let me handle it in a mature and hopefully classy way. While I would love the loyalty, the method in which it is expressed would bother me. So keep that in mind if you get involved in these battles. Support is a wonderful thing, but realize who and what you are supporting, and let that person handle it in the way they think is best. It is their intellectual property after all, not yours. Jane Doe could be the most laid back, kind and generous person in the Universe, but when people attack in her defense all it does is sully the name of Jane Doe. Let Jane Doe know that you agree and support her, that is wonderful, but do not take it upon yourself to become their blog police if you are not asked ( and I like to think we all have the integrity to not ask someone to do that for you. )

People make mistakes, some intentional and some by accident, but I really think it is up to us as the owner of our property to handle our business, not anyone else, no matter how well meaning they are. It just causes problems and makes everyone look bad. As I said before, we have enough problems outside of the blogging world, I do not think we need to add to it, here in the place where we pour our hearts out for others to read.

Educate yourself on the laws of copyright infringement and intellectual properly laws. Save yourself some headache. If you want to use someone else's work, do your best to ask that person, provide the proper link backs and credits, that way you are covered. But there will always be some people who have no clue about any of this, and make honest mistakes, these people may not even know Jane Doe existed and wrote something very similar. We are all human. We screw up. If you made that mistake, would you want someone to kindly point out what you did and hope that you rectify it? Or would you want 100 strangers yelling and calling you names and assassinate your character because of a screw up? We all preach about tolerance, and how the world needs to show more towards us. How about showing some yourself? Why do you deserve to be shown tolerance when you show none yourself? You are then only perpetuating the cycle.

Think about that the next time you swoop down in someone else's name.

Inspiration and aspirations....

I love it when I feel an internal shift start to happen. That feeling of some gate or door opening somewhere in your mind, and inspiration and intent rush to feel up the space that gate opens to....

I was perusing the blogosphere yesterday, and one of the blogs I was on was talking about sustainability ( I do not remember what blog I was on, please forgive me ) and as I am prone to do, I looked over at their side bar to see what blogs they had listed in their blog roll. I have found a lot of wonderful blogs this way. One of the names on the blog roll caught my eye, Down to Earth and after reading the first page I hit the "older posts" button, and kept hitting that button as I devoured page after page of this amazing woman's blog. I have been reading for a day and a half now. She and her husband are retired and living in Australia, and they live simply. They grow their own food, make their own bread, cook most everything from scratch. She knits, makes soap and washing detergents, and lives as simply and as green as they can.

After reading several months of back posts, one of those gates creaked open and I felt that shift happening. Jack and I have long been fledgling homesteaders,  and we are in the first stages, where you know a lot of the info and you slowly incorporate and make changes in your lifestyle. We stock pile, I cook as much as I can from scratch ( which is a learning process, I am not much of a baker ) and we garden, although ours ( along with most of the country ) did not do squat this year. So the things that she wrote about hit very close to home  for me.

Another thing she talks about is being a home maker. Stay at home Moms, or wives, or husbands or Dads still have a very negative outlook placed on them by today's society. Money reigns supreme, and if you are not out there breaking your back or mind making money, then you are pretty much worthless. This is a commerce driven country, and if your not making and spending, then people look at you as if you are scum. I have lost so much respect from my family and peers since I stopped working outside of the home, and it really used to bother me. Eventually I realized that I work my tail off in this house daily, to make a home for my family, and that is just as, if not more, important than sitting for 8, 10, or 12 hours a day in a job I may or may not like, just to earn a buck so I can spend it on more crap I do not really need. I work my tail off cleaning, and cooking, and making sure we have clean clothes, food in our stomach, and having a nice as possible home for everyone to come home to at the end of the day. A HOME, not a house. Not just some place we go when we can not be at work. A HOME. Where we live, laugh, and love. That is so much more important to me than earning the almighty dollar.

When people hear we stay at home, they immediately conjure up the mental images of a lazy person sitting at home, stuffing their face with chocolate or whatever, watching soap operas all day. As any stay at home person who truly cares about their home and family will tell you, that is far from the reality of it. We sometimes WISH we could sit on the couch eating bon-bons all day. The laundry never ends, the dishes never end, there are meals to be planned, toilets to clean, floors to wash, things to dust, if you sew there are things to be mended or created. Very few of us consider our lives luxurious as a stay at home person. One of the big differences is, we love it. We get the ultimate satisfaction from providing our family with a tidy home, hot meals, and a comfortable environment in which to grow and thrive in. We all have days where we wish we could just go back to bed, but we do not. We get up, get the kids and the spouse off to start their days, and then we continue ours. We do it because we love our family, because that is a job worth having.

It is not an easy path.  There are times where you might go a few days and do not feel like doing anything, but at the end of the day when you look around at your contented family, it is worth it, no matter the hardship you might face. Over the last few months I have become much more diligent at my "job." I got slack there for a while, and things piled up, and I felt guilty and miserable. I do not want to feel that way ever again, and if I let things slide, I feel horrible, like I let my family...and myself...down. I have had friends comment on my dedication to my job as a home maker. They know me well enough to know that if I say I am going to take it easy today, the floor will still be vacuumed, the kitchen will still be swept, and the dishes will be done after I cooked a hot meal. I am not looking for a pat on the back, I am just looking for the acceptance for those of us that choose to run our households without having an outside job as valid and equal. Our job is generally thankless and unpaid in monetary compensation, but it is rewarding in countless other ways.

Back to the blog I found, she really inspired me to take more pride in doing what it is that I do every day, and to take it to a whole new level. I have the time to learn new skills to help me and my family live as frugally as possible, yet not feel as if we are deprived of anything. I looked around my home with new eyes, and saw the changes I could make to have things run more efficiently, and to make better use of the time I have each day.
This was already slowly happening, but I stopped playing 98% of the pointless Facebook games that I wasted so much time on every day, and now I use it mostly as a tool to keep up with people in my life. I still have a couple of games I play for short periods of time because I enjoy them, but the 10 or 15 I had, that were pretty much the same, were doing nothing but killing time better spent doing other things. Now I find myself wanting to be away from the computer for long periods of time, when, as you know, I usually spent ALL my time here. That is just not what I want to be doing with myself and my day anymore.

I want to learn new things. I want to get started on those projects around the house I have been putting off. This in no way means I will neglect myself, or my needs. To be whole, you have to take care of yourself, you have to give your self breaks, and do things you enjoy, otherwise you are just a robot, going through the motions. I want to continue enjoying what I do, and gain more satisfaction when I do the things that take care of my family and home. I have so many ideas and thoughts running through my head that they are getting all tangled up, and I will be writing a list of things to do or that I want to learn so I will not forget anything, and so I can figure out how to incorporate everything into my daily routine.

I am excited, and inspired. I have new goals and aspirations, and I can not wait to get started.

A thank you and an update..

Good Sunday afternoon guys and gals.

First order of business, I am now up to 101 followers and I want to take the time to say thank you and I appreciate each and every one of you. When I started this blog several months ago, I had no idea that so many people would want to read what I have to say, and I feel that I have made a few special friends, and have met people who inspire and amaze me daily. I do not have anything to offer in a give-away as so many do when they reach 100 followers, but someday I hope to be able to do that!

I know I have been spotty with posting these days, and there are a few reasons for that. I had some emotional issues that were causing a good deal of writers block, because something was missing in my life that helps to make up who I am, but that has thankfully been resolved and I feel much more like myself.

I also got a bit burnt out when I did the vacation posts, ( which I am STILL not done with lol ) because I am the type that when retelling a story, I go through all those same emotions again, and it can be a bit emotionally exhaustive for me. Yeah, me, you know, the chick who does not wear her emotions on her sleeve?

I also had some things I NEEDED to write about, before I could write about the things that I wanted too. I still have at least one more post coming for that, but I am still letting it cook on the back burner, and it will probably be posted at my Wicked Witch Of The South blog, since that is the place I use to bitch about things lol.

I have also been mentally working on a new writing blog, trying to decide if I needed to start another blog when I seemed to have issues posting to the ones I have on a regular basis..( and by regular I mean what passes as regular to MY standards, not my readers lol ) but then I realized half of my writers block problem was I had things I wanted to post, but they did not fit in here at my everyday life blog, or over at Wicked, my ranting blog, so they kept backing up in my mind, causing a big mess.

After a few weeks of tossing this idea around, I found one of Julie's Blogs over at Julie Is Writing, and I got whopped in the head with a megaton of inspiration. She has a wonderful blog there, and she is doing some things that I would really love to take a part in, and finally I said "You know what, I am going to do this!"

And I did.

Thus The Avalonian Ink Weaver was born. It is newborn baby fresh, but I do have some earlier work posted there already, and there will be several other things to come to it very soon. It looks a bit plain at the moment, but I love it so much, and I feel so much better since creating it. Just click on the name there if you would like to check it out!

I will also be revamping this blog here soon, it is time for a change and I need to go around and re-harvest buttons and such since some blogs are now defunct or their buttons have changed, and it is time for a clean up and maybe a layout change...Spring is near and the juices of creativity are flowing once more.

Thank you again to Julie, who was the deciding force in creating the new blog, for having such an inspiring blog and giving me the confidence I needed to go forth with my ideas.

Last but not least, I have been spending some good quality time with Jack and Alex, and with my yin and yang best friends, and enjoying life in general.

I think that about sums it up for now, Jack is making homemade pizza again and the race starts in a few minutes so I am off to get in some good couch time!

Have a wonderful Sunday, and I hope you all have a wonderful week as well!

Prelude to a Miniseries!

Howdy guys and gals.

First off, a blessed Imbolc to one and all! Or Groundhog day, or whatever you go for lol. How about Happy Tuesday?

This post is to let you all know I am about to start my Vacation posts, and because they can not all fit into one post by a long shot, I guess it will turn into a miniseries! I give you fair warning now, they will be lengthy and very pic heavy!

Jack has a couple of dozen pics on his cell phone I will add to the mix and soon as we get the USB cable that hooks up to my computer to let me download them, so those will be later I suppose.


I am going to be posting a little bit at a time, and they will be sort of story like. Some may be longer than others, and some I did not get to take proper pics and will have to give you a viz with my words lol. I like my camera, but it is limited into the quality and close up ability it can preform.

So, let's get this started and be on the look out for.....

The Vacation Chronicles!

Sorry, your just a pretty face...

So I got horribly offended. Buy a friend none the less.

I was talking with a friend, and made the offhand comment that I was up to 91 followers on Google friend connect and over 40 on Networked blogs. This ( male ) friend then proceeded to say "Lucky you. Female, redheaded, beautiful. Like you are surprised?"

Excuse me?

So apparently the only reason I have followers is because I am cute. It has nothing to do with the fact I am a pretty damn good writer if I say so myself. Nothing to do with the fact I am humorous. Nothing to do with the fact I am intelligent. Nothing to do with the passion in my writing. No. None of that matters. It is because I am "hot" ( which, I am not ) and no other reason.

95% of my followers are female. Last time I checked, most women do not blindly follow someone simply because they are good looking. I do not care if you are the most beautiful woman in the Universe, if I do not like what you have to say, I am not going to waste my time following you. I like to think most other women are the same way.

Then it came out that there was jealousy there, over my writing, and the fact I have more followers. Then it moved on to because they were having a rough time.

I say again...EXCUSE ME???

So because your having a rough time, that gives you the excuse and the right to insult my intelligence and that somehow justifies what you said and makes it OKAY??

I don't fucking think so.

If people do not like the way you write, who cares? Unless you specifically write only for others to read, then who gives a rat's ass how many followers you have, you write for yourself. If it Does bother you, then there is an "AHA!" moment, because obviously your kidding yourself when you try to say it does not matter who reads you, then you bitch and whine about how no one comments or you don't have many followers. If you DO care that people read you ( and of course it is perfectly acceptable if you do, we all like to be well received  ) and you are not getting a lot of the kind of response you want, then change your writing style and most definitely the subject, but don't you DARE fucking insult my intelligence with your shitty comments like that.

Yes, I am pissed off and insulted, and after I have cooled off I may have not written this post, but I want to because not only does it let me vent, ( and, as this is my blog, I can say any thing I want on it ) but this may have happened to others, and damn it I want them to be mad about it too, because a lot of my followers are so intelligent, and funny, and witty, it almost intimidates me, and that is pretty hard to do. I have the utmost respect for these people, male and female alike, and to think that there are people out there who think the only reason they get anywhere or have any sort of success, be it large or small, is because they are "hot" burns me to a CRISP!

I value intelligence above all else, and anyone who has known me longer than five minutes knows this...and my friend is more aware of it than most...so not only am I hurt and angry that he said it at all, that he said it about ME, knowing me so well, and knowing the importance I place on intelligence, he might as well have slapped me upside the face. I sat here and I literally had my mouth hanging open, I was so stunned. Then I saw red. People, I am a redhead, and yes I can have a temper, but it takes a LOT to get me angry. I do not mean irritated or pissy, I mean full on ANGRY, and this made me blow off the charts in seconds!

Some of you may think I am making a big deal out of it, and that is fine, but folks, this hurt me and angered me and shocked me all at the same time. Women have struggled for centuries to be on more equal ground, to have it known that we are worth more than a maid and a cook, to have people realize just because we have boobs and lady bits, does not mean we have no brain cells. I love to cook, I love to be a housewife, but dammit there is SO much more to me than that! I have spent my whole entire life learning and studying and using my brain to as much of it's full capacity as I can as a human obtain.

So for someone to say the only reason I have success in whatever I am doing must be because I have a pretty face is akin to saying I am a freaking moron and it makes me angry.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. What a jerky thing to say. Jerky McJerky Face!

Or as my other best friend would say..."YOUR MOM!" (inside joke to make me feel better lol )

This now concludes the Bella Freak The Hell Out Hour, we now return you to your regularly scheduled program, already in progress....

A Little Bit Of Randomness...

Howdy folks. I just wanted to jump in here and say that my new daily posts are going ahead as planned! That is, as long as the demons that possessed my computer yesterday are fully exercised lol. The phone lines were being worked on and then my internet connection software went all haywire. Hooray for Friday when Mercury goes direct!


Anyways, the new implements on the blog are going as planned. I need to find some time to do some graphic work for each day but that is part of the fun. A couple of the days...ok...most of them...require some research on my part in order to post them, so I am pretty excited about it. It does mean, however, some of my posts will likely come late and night or really early in the morning before I crash for my "night." That is when I have to most peace and quiet to think and research and write.


One of the things I have long noticed, but did not really care about, was that I spend tons of time waiting for things to load, especially graphic heavy pages or games. I have dial up and it sometimes takes upwards of an hour to play a simple game. Now I love to read, but I have long  since faced the fact that I am an internet addict, and if I can be online, I will be. But when I load these games, since it is counter productive to load anything else, since it slows down the download time of my game or whatnot, I have decided to use those loading times to read, or go do something productive. That way I still get my net fix, but still do other things I like or need to do as well. This probably sounds like a small thing to most people, but to a chronic procrastinator, this is a great plan lol.


So I think that sums it up for this post. I hope you enjoy the new daily posts as they happen, and feedback is always appreciated!


Have a great week everyone!

The Stag Warrior Speaks!

Hello again guys and gals!

I am back this evening to spread bloggy love, and tonight I am letting you all know about  The StagWarrior's new blog, The Stag Warrior Speaks.

A lot of you follow his main blog, Journey of The StagWarrior, which is now a storyline chronicle of his life on his path as a pagan man, but there was so much he wanted to talk about that he felt did not fit with the theme of the blog, so he made a new blog which will be filled with everyday life and random thoughts and musings.

So please, check him out and show him some love! It is going to be so awesome!

The Stag Warrior Speaks