Minor annoyances...

Man I keep dropping the ball on this post every day thing lol. It does not help that it just so happened to fall during an unusually busy time for me. With Perth here, me getting back on my feet, Alex's birthday, the cancer walk coming up, and a zillion little day to day things, I just flat out forget about it. Friends seem to be in crisis, family needing me, things going on with Alex's school, me not feeling well...it has just been non stop. I fall into bed at night and think " Aw shit, I forgot to post today!"

It is just a very chaotic time for me right now. Not bad stuff usually, just busy. Today for instance I have a meeting with Alex's teacher at 10 this morning which is stressing me out a bit, then it is off to the library to get Perth a library card. I am trying to power read a book, The Help ( the book the movie is based on ) so I can give it back to my Mom so she can loan it out again, she has a waiting list for it. It is a great book and I spent a good chunk of time relaxing on the couch, it was needed.


I have some minor irritations going on at the same time as well, so that is not helping. Friends say they feel like I do not talk to them anymore, but when that person is hardly ever online to chat or email, what am I supposed to do? I hate phone calls, I do not like being tied down to one spot, although since I got a new house phone I can hear better so maybe that will help. I do not hear so well anymore, so I am self conscious about it and disliking talking on the phone is now a physical thing instead of just a mental one. Or, the mental issue stemmed from the beginning stages of the physical one, I do not know. Plus, these people never reach out to me much, I always have to go to them, so if they really wanted to talk to me, then how hard is it to send an email? I hate to sound unreasonable but damn, I am only one person. That street goes both ways! I can not magically make you appear online and actually sign in to yahoo or g talk or email, whatever we normally use to communicate, so don't get all up in arms that we do not talk like we used to. Not to mention these people are always busy too. I do not know, I just feel that it is unfair, and it bugs me.

Aside from the phone thing, I dislike having to look after other adults. I am not an alarm clock or a personal assistant or a reminder service. Alex is one thing, she is 7. If I did not give birth to you, I do not want to have to look after you too, unless you are ill or something, when you are fully capable of taking care of yourself. That is all I am going to say about that.

I probably sound selfish and whatnot but sometimes people are just unreasonable and it is a bit more than I can handle right now. I am still healing, still struggling with day to day things and I just do not have the energy to deal with other people's drama right now. Especially the ones who bring it on themselves. I will listen and read until my ears and eyes fall off, but I hate it when  I finally want to talk to someone about MY problems for a change and they twist it around until it is all about them. Or, the ones who vent to you constantly but never even ask how I might be doing. It is common courtesy!

*Sighs*

Sorry, I just had to get that out. I love all my friends very much but this is a busy and difficult time for me, and all I am asking for is a little understanding. I am not my normal self right now and will not be for some time. If you want to talk to me, then let me know, send me an email or something so I KNOW you want to talk to me. I am not a mind reader and if I do not hear from you, then I assume you are to busy or ill or whatever, and do not feel like talking, and you will let me know when you are ready again. I do not feel bad about it, life happens and there is no point in getting upset. I learned that lesson myself.


Sorry this is not a happy go lucky post, but even the most happy of people have bad days once in a while. I do not want to give the impression I do not care or do not want to talk to people, I just want the people in my life to realize things are a bit hectic for me and hard at times. I was here constantly before I got hurt and only three people talked to me regularly. Now that I am not here so much, suddenly everyone wants to talk and I get shit for it. Pfft. It irritates me! I had to wait for them to find time in their busy lives to talk to me and did not say anything about it, well damn it now you can work around me or you can just not talk to me. End of story.

Now please excuse me while I get another hectic day started.

The Joy of a broken ankle

There is none. Let me tell you that right flippin' now.

You all know what happened. Tried to crawl up on a step-less porch via bucket, flip flip caught on edge, I fell backwards and landed with all my weight on my right ankle, breaking it in three places and had to have surgery resulting in a metal plate and several screws.

It has been 17 days now since it happened and it feels like years. I have had to stay at my parent's house during the week because I can not take care of getting Alex on and off the bus, and until recently, I could not take care of myself either. I am so glad my mom took us in and let us stay and take care of things, but I am not overly happy there. The upside is I am with my family and my other kids, that is amazing. The downsides are I am away from Jack 5 nights a week, I am away from my home and pets, and because I thrash around and move a lot I was keeping my mom up at night, who needs her rest, so I have to sleep in the recliner. Oh and it is hot. I am used to 73 degrees at night and 76 during the day. They keep their place at like 77 all the time and that is hard for me on a normal day, but when you are on mega doses of heavy duty pain killers which make me sweat just from standing up from a sitting position, it is a special form of torture. I can't turn the air down there because it makes their utility bill go up, which I understand, but I am still miserable. Not to mention the recliner is like a warm body cocoon which just adds to it. Also, it is the only comfy chair in the house, the only other living room chair is a glider which is okay for maybe an hour. The recliner is my Dad's chair, and as it is directly in front of the TV, when he wakes up it means I have to move. So I jump from bedroom to bedroom during the day trying to get some cool air and sleep and be able to stretch out. Again, I am grateful that they are moving their world around to help me, but it is still not the best of situations, for any of us.

It is also awful because I am the person who cooks and cleans and takes care of everyone, and I hate not being able to do anything for myself. I can not even get a drink alone as with crutches there is no way to carry it. At least at Mom's I do have the wheel chair so I can carry stuff. Also, people are so used to me doing stuff on my own, people seem to forget I need help, or give me attitude when they do help. Jack has taken excellent care of me, and I love him for it, but he does not do it happily. Granted he is exhausted having to work full time and then come see us in the evenings and then having to take care of the house, but it is not like I enjoy being trapped on the couch or the bed, and making me feel like the biggest burden in the world is not helping matters. I try not to get upset though, I know that no one means any harm or does not want to take care of me, it is just hard having to depend on other people when they rather be doing anything but having to deal with my crap.

I got my staples out and a hard cast put on last Wednesday, which was very painful. It felt much better after the fact though. Then I had to be dumb and I got my cast damp in the shower Monday night, so I had to go have a new one put on yesterday. Well since I get a walking boot put on the 26th of this month, they decided to put my foot in a flat on the floor position inside the cast, stretching my tendons and ligaments to get them ready for walking in a few weeks but damn it hurts! I had finally got the pain managed, and was even weaning myself off so many pain pills, when they go and do this and I spent half the night crying in pain while I tried to sleep. My whole leg is sore. On the bright side I got to rub and lightly scratch my leg and foot for about 15 minutes yesterday before they put the new cast on, and it felt so good. The foot looks much better, it was not a fraction as swollen as it was last week, and other than the two wicked scars that are forming and the fact that the foot is all shades of black and blue and yellow from bruising, it looked like a normal foot. I am unable to move my pinky toe however. This might change and it might not. There was a lot of damage in there.

So this has not been easy by far, and I will be very glad when it is over and done with. I hope I never have to repeat the experience, I will tell you that.

I still have to keep my foot elevated most of the time, so I have not been able to sit at a desk to blog. I have a tablet pc ( like an iPad but it is an Acer ) that I am using to stay as connected as possible, but it is hard to type anything of length on it like a blog post. So I had to print some documents out this morning and decided I would write since I was here lol.

That about sums it up for now. This post was more of a vent than an update but I needed to get it out of me so I could let it go and hopefully things will get better as I heal. Any healing anyone wants to send is very appreciated!

I am still reading everyone's blogs, I am just not commenting much right now due to being on the tablet instead of a normal PC.

I hope everyone is well and I will be back as I can!

10 things that annoy the crap out of me

It is that time again folks. A top 10 list that gives you a little more insight into me, and todays edition is brought to you by the number 1, the letter D, and my  jerk of an ex husband. Enjoy.

1.) Michelle Duggar. I think it is nuts for you to contribute to global over population because you think you need to serve some sort of penance for your miscarriage while on birth control pills. Your kids need their mother, not a conveyor belt family, older taking care of younger.  Chances are if you keep up with this ridiculous life, you will die from childbirth or pregnancy complications. Now your older kids are following in your radical child bearing footsteps. I guess the tax payers will have to pay for your 9000 grandkids as well as your other kids as well. Your not Adam and Eve...we do not need you to go forth and populate the Earth. Go adopt some starving kids here in America if you feel the need to have that many kids.

2.) The Christian woman in pogo the other night, who took it upon herself to curse and scream and berate a FELLOW CHRISTIAN for saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. People like you are what give your religion such a  bad hypocritical rap.

3.) Bloggers who do not give their posts titles. It is irritating, and it takes, what, 5 seconds to type ANYTHING in the title bar??

4.) Asshole ex husbands who need their heads examined. 13 years later you want to start shit with me? Your not smart enough to match wits with me buddy...go have another beer and think about it for awhile. The BEST thing that happened to our daughter was the day you signed your rights away. Crawl back into the hole you slithered out from.

5.) Martyrs and people who refuse to listen to common sense. If it makes you happy to be miserable and stagnant, great. Try not to drag the rest of us down while your at it ok?

6.) Captchas. Enough said.

7.) The fact that people never seem to want to talk to you until you are in the middle of something else you need to be focused on. People who I have not talked to in 6 months or longer suddenly come out of the woodwork when I start on a project lol.

8.) ENDLESS RAIN! It has been the most wet Fall season I can remember. I have not seen the sun in so long I have forgotten what a nice sunny day looks like. I feel like I live in Gotham City, where is is always dark and usually rainy.

9.) When the TV signal decides to go out right at an important part of the movie or show and you miss a pivotal part of the plot.

10.) Here as of late...going grocery shopping, WITH the list...getting home and realizing you forgot to add a major ingredient to the list, therefore screwing up a meal.

So there was my' I need to vent Top 10" lol... I am sure you can figure out what inspired this post ;)

Hope you are all having a DRY, SUNNY, and great week!!!