Saturday, March 05, 2011

Flesh Friends

No, I am not writing about some new porn flick lol. I do not really do adult movies. I have nothing against them, they just do not do anything for me. *Shrugs*

I have been blessed with some pretty kick ass friends in my life. Some I have had for most of my life, and some are new. Over the last 4 years, most of them have been online friends, which is awesome. ( Also, due to life getting in the way, real life friends became online friends as well, easier to stay in touch that way lol ) I love forging connections with people a zillion miles away, and it suits my inner hermit.

A while back I may have mentioned that my inner hermit decided to take a rest, and I kind of threw myself out there in the world. Something pretty amazing happened as a result of that decision...

I became friends with my neighbors across the street. 

One of them, Steph, lived there when Jack and I moved here, but since I hardly ever went outside unless I was going somewhere, she thought I was just a drop by girlfriend of Jack's lol. It was not until Alex went to school that I met her girlfriend, Vicky, who put her and Steph's kids on the bus around the same time Alex got on her bus. Once it started getting cool outside, I started walking down a long dirt road near us, and one day as I was coming back I ran into Vicky, who asked me if I had been walking. I told her yes, and she said she wanted to walk but was afraid of going alone, I smiled and raised up the hem of my shirt and showed her the pistol tucked into the waistband of my jeans. ( Yes, I DO have a concealed weapons permit, thanks for asking *winks* ) She laughed and said if I would not mind, she would like to start walking with me. Suddenly I had a walking partner and it was great.

A couple of months went by with 5 days a week of walking, and then hunting season started. We stopped walking because there are many many hunting clubs along that long road, and we were both afraid of getting shot by a stray bullet. We started hanging out at her place, then mine, then both, depending on our mood, and a friendship was forged. Six months later, we are nearly inseparable. Monday through Friday, we hang out for no less than 2 hours every morning, after the kids are on the bus, having coffee and sometimes breakfast. I became closer to Steph, and I love her to death too. They have three kids between them, two of them close to Alex's age, and one 12 year old girl, who is cool and plays often with the smaller kids. Every day the kids play, almost every day I hang with Vix and/or Steph.

When my life went to shit over the last month and a half, they were awesome. They offered to keep Alex, offered to cook, and in fact fed Alex and I quite often when Jack was in the hospital. Offered to buy groceries or anything we might need, and any time I need to talk, Vix is there, day or night. Of course I have lifelong friends who would do this same thing, but they have their own lives and schedules and live a considerable distance from me, so this was a bit different, because I shied away from them for so long, and then to find out what awesome people they are, and the fact we all became so close so fast is just amazing to me. I have not been this close to a person since I was in middle school. When I told Vix my mom might not make it, she was over here before I could walk across my house. When our wolf passed, she was the first person I told, and she was here in a flash. When I was so down and distraught these last couple of weeks, she and Steph made sure that I was not left alone to just stew in misery, yet they could tell when I needed space and backed off. 

I know this is probably normal for most people, making friends, but I have such a hard time trusting people, and as we all know, I was a terrible hermit, so going OUT and doing things and making an effort to talk to people is kind of a big deal for me. Now, if a day goes by and I do not talk to them, I feel weird. They are such fun to be around, and are so loving and giving. I never thought I would find online quality friends ( do not laugh, my online friends mean the universe to me lol ) in the flesh. I just never could put myself out there for someone "local."

Now this is not to say they mean more to me than my lifelong or online friends, far from it. I could not have had the awesome times in my life without any of them. It is just that having friends of that caliber right outside my door is such a foreign thing to me. Not only that, suddenly I find myself getting to know ALL my neighbors. I now speak to just about every neighbor I have ( there are 7 houses on my street ) several times a week. 

I have never lived anywhere and been friends with the neighbors. We are private people, and odd ones as far as most people go, so it was just easier to hang out with each other..but all that changed. Hell, we even had them over last weekend for some pre-race food, meaning Jack has been included in the circle. He is 5 times the hermit I ever was lol.

I know I am just as important to them as they are to me as well, because in January they had a chance to move closer to town, and because of me, they chose to say and add on to their place instead. I am sure there were more factors than just being close to me, but it made me feel so good to realize that I was important enough to them to have an impact on where they lived. Major stuff. 

Being friends with them has also caused me to meet other new people, their friends, so my circle is expanding a bit.

I know it is pretty mundane to most, but to me, this is huge.

I look forward to seeing where this road leads, and what awesome new experiences I will have as a result of opening myself up a little and letting someone in...


Aine O'Brien said...

No, not mundane at all!! A good factor in the decision to move was to find a community, which is so very hard to do in the city. Your story gave me hope.

Anonymous said...

I hear ya. I'm very distrusting of people and most of my friends are family and a few women I've known since elementary school. It's always nice when I meet someone new and click. I clicked with my neighbor as well, but wouldn't consider her a close friend, more of someone to hang with while the kids play.

As for my online friends on my blog, I LOVE them too.

Anonymous said...

I think it is great that you have met some friends that can be there for you in a matter of seconds.

I personally only have online friends that I completely trust. Maybe it's because they don't live close to me and can't really screw up my world. But I do long for that friend that I can go have coffee with.



Meganne said...

I think this is wonderful! And this was exactly what I needed to real this morning. I have an incredibly hard time making friends due to being a hermit, and knowing someone else is that way and has done it inspiring. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I have to admit I am a hermit of sorts anymore. I trust no one even family members, making friends online is easier than offline for me.
I am happy you found someone offline to hang with.

Lilac SilverFox said...

That is so great! I miss having friends....All my bestests have become forced online friends since we moved 7hrs from everyone and now live in the country with my hubby's dad and no neighbours to try and become friends with.....It makes a big difference...

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for hosting this...I've always been very shy (or perhaps it's simply anti-social) and have few real friends. You've inspired me to start walking my new neighborhood come Spring. Hopefully I'll be able to meet some neighbors and make some new friends.