Ten Things Thursday: Ten Things That Make Me Happy

It has been a very, very stressful week, and I was originally going to do another ten things I am grateful for post, but I did that recently so I will change it a bit and make it things that make me happy. It will hopefully achieve the same results, as I need a reminder every now and then of such things.

1. Family and Friends who understand:

I am so happy that the people who mean the most to me are understanding of the fact that times are tough right now, and I am not always available, and when I am, my brain is so shot out and tired I just want to veg, I do not want to talk about anything deep, and that I need to withdraw from the outside world for a while and focus on me and whatever I am going through at that time. I know it may sound selfish to some, but the ones who matter know that I have a lot on my plate and that I am not myself right now. Thank you, to those people.

2. Cooler Weather:

Fall is officially here on the calender, and thankfully the temperature got the memo. It is already much cooler at night, I have slept with my window open a few nights, and the days are not so humid and hot either. Winter is much harder on me now that I have lost some weight, and have a lot of metal in my bones thanks to breaking my ankle, so super cold temps are not much fun, but Fall weather is great. Nice days and chilly nights, where I can open my window and snuggle under my warm blankets are so awesome.

3. Closure:

My Mom called me the other day, and informed me that the road leading back to where my Dad wanted his ashes scattered is finally repaired and open again, since being destroyed by Tropical Storm Debbie a couple of months ago. That means in a couple of weeks we are finally going to make that trip and scatter Dad to the wind and the ocean, as he wanted. I have come to terms with his passing, although I still miss him terribly, and I know he is "gone" and his ashes were just what is left of his physical body, but it makes me happy to know that soon we will be able to fulfill his last wish and set him free. A final send off, making it official, gives me a sense of comfort for some reason. Right now it still feels so unfinished.

4. Books:

Reading is one of the things that has helped me keep my sanity the last week, but also for most of my life. I have been able to lose myself in a few books this week, and I have welcomed the distraction they have provided. I even had a good friend gift an ebook to me that I have been wanting, which was awesome. If not for the books and being able to forget about what is happening here during the day, I think I might have lost my mind. They provide me with an escape from the crushing amount of stress, now and other times in my life. Books have saved my life more than once, and as dramatic as that sounds...it is true.

5. Music:

I almost made this into a top ten songs of all time post, but I want to include videos and stuff for that, and I have to do that early in the morning or after 2 AM on a weekend, so it does not go against my daily bandwidth allotment. Anyway, I spend a lot of evenings with my headphones on, once Jack is settled and Alex is home and settled, and can alert me if Jack needs me since I would not be able to hear him. I can sit here, and try to decompress, and block out the outside world, the annoying everyday sounds that just seem to grate on my nerves these days. It puts me in a bubble all on my own, which is very much needed. I can listen to sad songs and release my emotional pain, I can play upbeat songs to raise my mood, I can play edgy songs to let me get rid of my anger. It ranks right up there books, keeping me sane and offering me escape.

6. Sleep:

I have a love/hate relationship with sleep. On one hand, I adore to sleep, and hate to wake up. I love being snuggled in my super comfy bed, under my soft and warm blankets, in the dark, with the whirring of the 3 fans I have in my room to help me to sleep. On the other hand, I hate the fact that I HAVE to sleep. I have a schedule to keep, during the school week, which sucks. Even when I am exhausted, I hate the fact that I have to totally shut down my life (so to speak ) to recharge. I am fine when I WANT to go to bed and rest, I dislike it when I HAVE to go to bed, because of other things I NEED to do, while sleeping sometimes prevents me from things I WANT to do. Then there is the whole " TO tired to actually sleep" which is a special form of torture. I will not go into that now though, as this is a "happy things" post lol.

7. Mornings:

This one is probably shocking to anyone who knows me or reads here often, as I am a self-proclaimed night owl. However, in the morning, after Alex is on the bus, the mornings are starting to get cool, and I like being outside in it, and when I come home, Jack is usually still in bed, so I have a few moments of silence and the bliss of being alone, no one but the dog and I. Silence and being alone are two huge luxuries that I am not often awarded.

8. Blogs

I really love logging in each day and reading what everyone has posted overnight. I do not comment often, but I read everything. I love taking time out to catch up on my blogging friend's lives, and see what interesting things they have posted. I get to lose myself in their lives instead of worrying about my own for a change.

9. Being a Gamer:

I play video games. Console games mostly, I am a die hard Playstation fan, although I do want an X-box 360, there are some titles and perks with X-Box that do not come with the Sony systems. I will play computer games when I find one that holds my attention, but usually there is a console version of most games and I much rather play those. Those are the ultimate distraction, I am actively participating in a different type of life, living vicariously in that fantasy world, if you will. The truth is, sometimes reality sucks, and when there is nothing you can do to change it other than give things time to happen as they should ( like healing from a massive surgery for instance *ahem* ) then there is nothing wrong with a little escapism in my opinion. As long as the fantasy world does not overshadow and take the place of the real world, then I see nothing wrong with it.

10. Alex:

Yes, my baby girl. She drives me bat shit insane half the time, with her constant chattering, and even though I enjoy my "quiet time" when she is at school, by the time it is time for her to come home, I am missing her and the burst of energy she brings home with her every day. Sure, that means there is more to do for a while until homework, dinner, bathing, and hearing about her day went is finished, but the energy of the day changes the second she steps off the bus. In fact, it is now time to go collect my little fireball from the bus stop.

Have a great day folks!

Ten Things Thursday: 10 Things That Annoy Me

This list will be short and to the point. I am dragging today, and easily irritated so naturally the list is about things that annoy me lol.

1. Government agencies taking their sweet time to do ANYTHING.

Seriously, people depend and rely on you for services, sometimes you are all that keeps them alive. Making them wait is a terrible and heartless thing to do.

2. Companies that outsource their help desks.

When I call your company, needing help, probably freaking out over whatever it is that is wrong, the last thing I want to deal with it someone who speaks poor English, reads from a script and refuses to deviate from it, and transfer you from person to person, never solving the problem until I hang up in frustration.

3. The nurse at Jack's Doctor's office.

She should actually be in the number one spot. She is terrible. I have never met a more uncaring and heartless woman in my entire life. When all this is over, we WILL be reporting her to every board we can.

4. People who cause trouble for no reason other than personal pleasure.

This one is self-explanatory. People who lie and stir up shit are assholes. 'Nuff said.

5. Alex's crackhead extreme energy bursts and incessant talking.

I thought that she would calm down when school started, since she would be doing more and getting up so much earlier, but she seems to be even MORE jacked up when she comes home now. Her energy level could power a small country for a year, and her non-stop chattering is driving me BONKERS. I love the kid, but if it were not considered child abuse or something, I would duct tape her mouth shut for a few hours every afternoon. I am only partially kidding.

6. Rain. Effing RAIN!

As I have moaned about before, it has been a rainy Summer. Every day, most of the day, torrential downpours. We have had so many trees hit by lightning in our backyard, and that is what fried our phone and power lines. ( Turns out that phone guy was not responsible for my ground wire giving out. That is the one thing he did NOT fuck up that day. ) Then here came Tropical Storm Issac. I went into panic mode. Normally the storms do not even phase me, but I live in a mandatory evac spot, very close to an already overflowing river ( due to all the rain ) and the ocean. All I could think of was we would be flooded, as the ground is SO saturated from all the rain, there was no way we would handle 6 to 9 feet of storm surge, and 12 to 20 inches of rain that they were predicting. I was in a fine state of anxiety. Luckily we dodged a bullet and we got some wind and less rain than we do on a normal day this Summer, so my concerns were unfounded. However, now that it passed us by, it went RIGHT BACK to raining 75% of the day every day. They even predict we will get snow here this Winter, because it will be very cold and very wet. North Florida, people. Tallahassee. Capital. Hot Summers, balmy Winter's. SNOW!? *Shakes head*

*Prayers, healing, and love going out to all the people who HAVE been messed up by Issac.*

7. Getting up so early in the mornings.

It did not take me long to adjust to the school schedule again, but the last week has been exhausting for some reason. I am ready to go to bed at 7 at night if I could, and I have been waking around 5 every morning, even though I do not have to get up till 6. I do not know wtf is going on, but I am constantly dragging and it sucks. I am so looking forward to the long weekend so I can SLEEP IN! Alex has turned into a bear in the mornings as well. Last year she jumped out of bed, ready to greet the day, and now I all but have to drag her by the foot out of the bed. As I am not a morning person, this makes morning time a little more torturous.

8. Washing Dishes.

I would cook 5 course meals every single night if I never had to wash another dish again. It is my least favorite chore. Even though it usually does not take me long ( unless Jack cooks, then I might as well pull up a stool and get comfy ) it is just the ONE household chore I can not accept. I like cleaning most things, it is therapeutic for me..but dishes? I rather eat off throw away plates and plastic forks. (Yeah yeah, I know, terrible for the environment. Which is the only reason I do NOT eat off throw away plates and plastic forks. Your welcome, Mother Nature. )

9. Fleas.

Here in North Florida, in the rural areas, where I live, we have a flea epidemic this year. (Is that the right term? Epidemic? No? Okay, we have a metric shit ton of fleas. Infestation? It that a better word? Whatever.) Not just us, but everywhere up here. The messed up part is, only the INSIDE dog is eaten up with them, no matter what we do. We even went the professional route, to no avail. We have that DE earth, which works, but I DESPISE my house being covered in white dust. It gets all over EVERYTHING and I get all twitchy inside and really pissy. The outside dog, Harley? Not a damn flea on her.  Soccer, the inside dog? He is supposed to be white and black but he is mostly black. Not to mention I am COVERED in flea bites on my feet and lower legs. Only me. Not Jack, not Alex, they have no issues what so ever. Me? I look like I have chicken pox on my feet. Bastards.

10. Stress Migraines.

I have been plagued with them this Summer. All the atmospheric pressure from the rain and storms, the loss of power for days, the extended family issues, the 400 light bill we can't pay due to the power surges driving our bill up, rent, not having enough to eat for all of us on most days, being totally broke...and a thousand little things have raised my blood pressure and will spark a migraine at the drop of a hat. I am not the type to get "just a headache," I would LOVE to have one of those back of the brain, " Ow this is annoying but I can deal with it" type deals, but alas, I get the "OMFG MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE OUT OF MY EYEBALLS!!" type migraines. I lose my vision at times, they get so bad. They suck. Balls.


So there is my ranty Ten Things post for today. Just had to get that stuff out of my system, and I already feel better. Thanks for reading my bitching. I am going to drag my ass in the kitchen and feed us, do the dishes, then hold this chair down until I can finally slip off to bed. Have a great night folks, and I hope you enjoy your weekend!