"Noobs" vs "Not Noobs" or The Green vs The Seasoned

Noob, Newbie, Newb.

We have all probably heard the slang words that describe someone who is new to something. Especially popular in the gamer crowd ( of which I am a member of ), it is frequently used in a derogatory manner, to imply they are too new and therefore not worth the more advanced person's time and effort.

Love thy newbie, for thy was also once a newb!

In the gamer world, you have your seasoned players, who have logged countless hours playing said game, and then here comes someone who started just last week, who is still learning, and they may make some grievous error out of ignorance, which pisses the advanced gamers off and causes them to have fits of rage, complete with scathing insults heaped upon the "noob's" head, making that person feel like crap, simply because they have not had enough experience to know any better.

Another place this happens frequently is in the world of Paganism. Not everyone is this way, of course, and there are plenty of Pagans who love to help people new to their paths, but for years I have seen those who are more advanced, who have been on their paths for many years, who act just like the veteran gamers do. They have no patience for the "noobs"  ( I prefer Newbs myself and will use this spelling from now on ) or anyone who has not been on their path for years. Gods forbid they get asked a question by these green pagans. I have seen and heard and in weaker moments, given some of the most terrible tirades, speeches, and lectures given by seasoned pagans to those who are new to the Craft. Granted, in this age of technology, a wealth of information is at your fingertips on the internet, but first hand knowledge can make a huge difference in a person's path, especially if they have deeper questions than a simple internet search can give them. I have been on my path for 21 years, mostly alone, mostly self taught, but the knowledge I have gained from a few kind souls who were willing to answer a few ( and sometimes a lot of  ) questions helped me in ways I cannot describe.

So I am writing a bit of an open letter, first to seasoned pagans, and then to the Newbs out there.

Dear Seasoned Pagans,

Stop being asshats to Newbies. You, yourself, were once just as green as they are, and we are in a great position to stop a lot of the fear and misconceptions about being a Pagan. Maybe you were rejected in the early days of walking  this path, and now you feel you are entitled to do the same. Maybe you were totally self taught, you put in all the research, legwork, trial and error, and everything in between to be where you are, and feel that every person should have to do that. Maybe you simply do not have the desire, or the patience to teach anyone something that, even for "Public Pagans" is still at it's core, a deeply personal experience.

I get it. I have been there, and I understand where you are coming from. NONE of those reasons, however, gives us the right to treat these newcomers like unruly children. Granted, some Newbs are asshats, and will not listen, or think they know it all, and I will get to them in a minute. There are still ways to not rain insults on them and make them doubt if this is the path they want to be on, if all pagans are such jerks. Ours is a path of supposed acceptance and knowledge. One of the reasons a lot of us are pagans is because Christianity left us with a bad taste in our mouths so to speak. One thing I can say is that I have never seen or read about a patriarchal religion turning down newcomers who want to learn about their path or religion. I am sure there are some out there, but usually you can't get them to shut up teaching about it, they don't insult you and tell you that you are a newb and make them feel they are not worth spending time and effort on.

I am not saying we have to answer every question, or take everyone under our wings and show them the ropes. Hell no. I can't do that  myself. I have very little patience or desire to teach anyone about it anymore, even my son, who is fresh on the path. I will answer his questions, because he is my son and I love him, but I also direct him to go look it up for himself. My point is, it takes less energy and blood pressure points to give a basic answer and direct them somewhere they can find out the information for themselves, if  you happen to know a few places in particular, or to simply say "Sorry, I am not a teacher in the least, but so and so is, or do a quick internet search and you will find lots of answers" than to spend ten minutes or more ranting and raving at the person and making them feel like crap. You can decline to be a teacher without being a total jerk. Think about how you would feel is someone did that to you.  ( And maybe they did, and how bad did it make you feel?? ) Be respectful.

No one likes a know-it-all jerk.

Dear Green Pagans,

Don't be an asshat either. I know a whole world is opening up before you, and you want to cram as much info into your cranium as possible, but it took a lot of work to be where we seasoned pagans are today. I know you are probably reading everything you can get your hands on, and that is great, but there is a HUGE difference in book knowledge and practical experience. Don't be afraid to get out there and just do it. Be cautious, but do it. There is nothing anyone can tell you that will make up for good old fashioned experience. Even though there are very well known and respected public pagans, that does not mean that everyone you know who follows an alternative religion or path wants to pull up a chair with you and tell you everything they know. Even those who are willing to answer your questions still consider their practice a deeply personal thing. Do not act like because you read a few books, cast a spell or two, or conducted a ritual, that you are on even ground with someone who has been on the path for a decade or more. Don't be a know-it-all jerk to them either. Trying to lecture a seasoned pagan is a sure fire way to not get taken seriously, and make it to where no one wants to help you with anything. Some people will be happy to share with you. Many  people will not, and that is their choice. Keep searching, be respectful, and never stop learning. ( That goes for us seasoned pagans as well...things change all the time, new information is always being presented, and even though you may not practice it or adopt it into your path, keeping up with the times is always a good thing,  and can help you to understand the next generation of pagans.) This is not always an easy path, but it can be a very rewarding one.

So in conclusion, there is no reason that new and more advanced pagans can't find common ground, as long as a little mutual respect and a bit of patience is present on both parts. No one wants to be treated like an asshat, no matter how long you have been on a path.

I hope you will take that into consideration the next time you ask a question, or have the urge to blast someone to bits because they do not know as much as you do about something.

Have any thoughts about this? Tell me in the comments!

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Ten Things Thursday: Ten Things That Make Me Happy

It has been a very, very stressful week, and I was originally going to do another ten things I am grateful for post, but I did that recently so I will change it a bit and make it things that make me happy. It will hopefully achieve the same results, as I need a reminder every now and then of such things.

1. Family and Friends who understand:

I am so happy that the people who mean the most to me are understanding of the fact that times are tough right now, and I am not always available, and when I am, my brain is so shot out and tired I just want to veg, I do not want to talk about anything deep, and that I need to withdraw from the outside world for a while and focus on me and whatever I am going through at that time. I know it may sound selfish to some, but the ones who matter know that I have a lot on my plate and that I am not myself right now. Thank you, to those people.

2. Cooler Weather:

Fall is officially here on the calender, and thankfully the temperature got the memo. It is already much cooler at night, I have slept with my window open a few nights, and the days are not so humid and hot either. Winter is much harder on me now that I have lost some weight, and have a lot of metal in my bones thanks to breaking my ankle, so super cold temps are not much fun, but Fall weather is great. Nice days and chilly nights, where I can open my window and snuggle under my warm blankets are so awesome.

3. Closure:

My Mom called me the other day, and informed me that the road leading back to where my Dad wanted his ashes scattered is finally repaired and open again, since being destroyed by Tropical Storm Debbie a couple of months ago. That means in a couple of weeks we are finally going to make that trip and scatter Dad to the wind and the ocean, as he wanted. I have come to terms with his passing, although I still miss him terribly, and I know he is "gone" and his ashes were just what is left of his physical body, but it makes me happy to know that soon we will be able to fulfill his last wish and set him free. A final send off, making it official, gives me a sense of comfort for some reason. Right now it still feels so unfinished.

4. Books:

Reading is one of the things that has helped me keep my sanity the last week, but also for most of my life. I have been able to lose myself in a few books this week, and I have welcomed the distraction they have provided. I even had a good friend gift an ebook to me that I have been wanting, which was awesome. If not for the books and being able to forget about what is happening here during the day, I think I might have lost my mind. They provide me with an escape from the crushing amount of stress, now and other times in my life. Books have saved my life more than once, and as dramatic as that sounds...it is true.

5. Music:

I almost made this into a top ten songs of all time post, but I want to include videos and stuff for that, and I have to do that early in the morning or after 2 AM on a weekend, so it does not go against my daily bandwidth allotment. Anyway, I spend a lot of evenings with my headphones on, once Jack is settled and Alex is home and settled, and can alert me if Jack needs me since I would not be able to hear him. I can sit here, and try to decompress, and block out the outside world, the annoying everyday sounds that just seem to grate on my nerves these days. It puts me in a bubble all on my own, which is very much needed. I can listen to sad songs and release my emotional pain, I can play upbeat songs to raise my mood, I can play edgy songs to let me get rid of my anger. It ranks right up there books, keeping me sane and offering me escape.

6. Sleep:

I have a love/hate relationship with sleep. On one hand, I adore to sleep, and hate to wake up. I love being snuggled in my super comfy bed, under my soft and warm blankets, in the dark, with the whirring of the 3 fans I have in my room to help me to sleep. On the other hand, I hate the fact that I HAVE to sleep. I have a schedule to keep, during the school week, which sucks. Even when I am exhausted, I hate the fact that I have to totally shut down my life (so to speak ) to recharge. I am fine when I WANT to go to bed and rest, I dislike it when I HAVE to go to bed, because of other things I NEED to do, while sleeping sometimes prevents me from things I WANT to do. Then there is the whole " TO tired to actually sleep" which is a special form of torture. I will not go into that now though, as this is a "happy things" post lol.

7. Mornings:

This one is probably shocking to anyone who knows me or reads here often, as I am a self-proclaimed night owl. However, in the morning, after Alex is on the bus, the mornings are starting to get cool, and I like being outside in it, and when I come home, Jack is usually still in bed, so I have a few moments of silence and the bliss of being alone, no one but the dog and I. Silence and being alone are two huge luxuries that I am not often awarded.

8. Blogs

I really love logging in each day and reading what everyone has posted overnight. I do not comment often, but I read everything. I love taking time out to catch up on my blogging friend's lives, and see what interesting things they have posted. I get to lose myself in their lives instead of worrying about my own for a change.

9. Being a Gamer:

I play video games. Console games mostly, I am a die hard Playstation fan, although I do want an X-box 360, there are some titles and perks with X-Box that do not come with the Sony systems. I will play computer games when I find one that holds my attention, but usually there is a console version of most games and I much rather play those. Those are the ultimate distraction, I am actively participating in a different type of life, living vicariously in that fantasy world, if you will. The truth is, sometimes reality sucks, and when there is nothing you can do to change it other than give things time to happen as they should ( like healing from a massive surgery for instance *ahem* ) then there is nothing wrong with a little escapism in my opinion. As long as the fantasy world does not overshadow and take the place of the real world, then I see nothing wrong with it.

10. Alex:

Yes, my baby girl. She drives me bat shit insane half the time, with her constant chattering, and even though I enjoy my "quiet time" when she is at school, by the time it is time for her to come home, I am missing her and the burst of energy she brings home with her every day. Sure, that means there is more to do for a while until homework, dinner, bathing, and hearing about her day went is finished, but the energy of the day changes the second she steps off the bus. In fact, it is now time to go collect my little fireball from the bus stop.

Have a great day folks!

I kind of have it, but then again, I kind of don't....

Writers block of course. More like writer's will to be honest. I stay so busy, or so occupied with other things, when I sit down here at the computer these days and even think about blogging, my mind draws a blank.

I find that the more I have to write about, the LESS I want to write. Why does it happen this way? As a writer I should be dying to get the words out, to share the experiences. Instead I find myself guarding them like a child with a most precious plaything...unwilling to share it with anyone.

It has been a whirlwind of activity the last three weeks. I think the last time I posted was right before Samhain, which is when I went into the doctor to get my walking boot officially taken off. That all went off with out a hitch. Hell, I walked 5 miles the day before with NO boot on...not that I told my doctor that. But I did it with no ill after effects other than being tired.

Oh wait, I remember what my last post was about now. My best friend, who had lost her memory. Well she still has not regained it but she is coping much better, most days anyway. Nights are hard, as it is when she gets tired, she gets overwhelmed easily. But she goes day by day and her heart remembers even what her mind does not. You can follow along with her journey HERE if you like. It was a fairly new blog before she lost her memory and there is much more content after she lost it, but there was enough before to see how the stress of daily life and a million other factors that have happened over the last 15 years attributed to her mental vacation ( which is what I call it. )

So back to Samhain, the doc took Xrays and said it all looked wonderful. I do still have two small broken parts in the posterior of the ankle, they are to small to use any screws or plates or anything to fuse them back together, and since they cause little to no pain ( usually none unless something hits me on the ankle or back of the ankle, then I feel every damn splinter lol ) and he showed me in the xrays where the toothpick sized slivers and little porcupine ball of bone fragments were already "bridged" with new bone growth. Meaning there was a shadow between the stable part of my bone and the broken piece of bone, which is the new bone growth making a "bridge" between the undamaged and damaged bone. In other words, I am healing as I should, and in fact a little faster than they expected. I only have one more appointment with them, which is on the 30th of this month and then they will turn me loose unless the hardware bothers me later.

I have a pic of my xray...only one angle though, but it shows the plate and two screws ( well it looks like one screw because of the angle, but there are two there, much to my surprise. I did not know that before. ) If you look on the right, ( which is the left of my ankle lol ) there seems to be a single screw jutting up at an angle into my leg...but there are actually two screws there, one behind the other basically. Funny thing...every time I look at this pic is make the side with the plate ache a bit. The mind does funny things lol.

So for the most part I am now left to my own devices, which is fine. It still causes me pain at times, and it still swells, but it will swell for at least a year he said, and as far as pain, well, every time it rains or gets really cold, I am in for a ride, which I already have experienced. I can tell you it is going to rain three days before a drop ever falls lol. I am back to normal for the most part though. I do move a little slower, a little more carefully...but I am told this is normal and the more time that passes from the day I got hurt, the less it will bother me. One day I might not even think about my ankle, like I used to not think about it before I got hurt lol.

Since I walked in the breast cancer walk, weekends have been non stop, on the go action kind of weekends. The weekend after the walk we went to the St. Marks River lighthouse and watched the Monarch butterflies migrate, and we walked about 5 miles that day, me with no boot on. I was very proud of myself.

Here is a pic of the St. Marks lighthouse. It has history. Look it up lol.

Later that same day we went down to the other side of the bay and went to the old fort which is the
San Marcos de Apalache Historic State Park. History there too.

The weekends since then have been filled with trips to the mail, and out to eat, and grocery shopping, and walking around the flea market. We all bought some new PS3 games so Jack has been playing the new Midnight Club racing game, Perth and myself play Skyrim, ( Oh yes, we have Skyrim, got it the day it came out lol ) and I am playing Grand Theft Auto 4 when I feel up to it.

I have not been playing much of anything for the last several days though, because I have the flu. Nasty, icky, shoot me now please, flu. So I have spent the last few days moaning about how shitty I feel to everyone who will listen lol. Jack even cooked last night. I just do not have the energy to stand up longer than a minute or two without feeling like I am going to pass out, so I just stay on the couch or in the bed or here in my chair. I feel different today though. Not better, just different. Yesterday I had sinuses clogged up so bad I felt like I was slowly suffocating to death, and today I can breathe better but my fever is up to 101, and it was only 99.4 yesterday. I will take hot and cold flashes over not being able to breathe any day lol.

I think that sums it up for now, It is a readers digest version, I know, but my energy is running out on me and I need to go rest for  a while. As these things usually happen, now that I have gotten over the hump of actually writing a post after not writing for a few days, that block will go away and I will be back more frequently. Once I stop feeling like ass that is.....

Happy Humpday folks!

Down cycles and new obsessions...

What a week.


As most of you know I am Bi-Polar, and as such I am sometimes hit with vicious down cycles. I have been lucky, I have not had a really bad one in over 6 months, but last weekend it more than caught up with me and made up for lost time.


Since the Universe has a sense of sadistic humor, I was also hit with some personal issues, 3 of them at the same time. So this last week was pure hell. I went into "Hermit Mode" and did not leave the inside of my house from Saturday evening until today, other than to walk the dog. Alex did not go to school yesterday so it was this morning while taking her to the bus stop that I saw any major form of daylight.


Luckily for me, my latest obsession arrived in the mail on Saturday:

Even if I had not been in the process of losing my mind, I would not have moved off the couch once I popped this baby in the PS3. I am hooked. I have not even thought about my other game I have been playing for weeks; Elder Scrolls Oblivion.


I have just about all the Sims available for consoles except the Gamecube version ( but my eldest daughter does have that one..) and up until now, 2 was my favorite, but 3 blows them all out of the water. As soon as I wake I hurry through my chores and get Alex out the door so I can get back to my virtual world. I know it is a horrible time sucker, but it helped me get through a very rough time, and I am pretty sure if I did not have it this down cycle would have lasted much longer.


Alex is still a total chatterbox that makes my brain leak out of my ears after a few hours of her incessant yammering at me. I am a very quiet person by nature, I could go days without ever speaking if I were allowed to. I guess that is why Alex is the way she is, to bust up one of those hermit qualities I have. I think it busts my sanity up more than anything lol.


I guess that is about it. That is why I have been back in the "Dead Zone" of blogging, but as you can see, I have come up for air long enough to bang out a quick update lol...


Now, I am pretty sure it is time for my Sims peeps to go to work and school.....

I have the slack ass disease....and a good cause....

Yes indeed. I do not know what is up with me, but this week I have not felt like doing a darn thing. 


I have a ton of laundry to fold, and I need to dust and clean the bathroom. I did manage to finally run the vac today, but I did not for two days, and anyone who knows me also know I am very OCD about vacuuming, I do it at least once a day. So for me to not do that should clue you in on just how lethargic I am feeling lol.


I am sure this non stop downpour of rain is not helping matters either. It has not been sunny since Sunday ( heh ) and it is taking it's toll on my moods. It was so bad here yesterday I kept Alex home from school. It was raining when we woke and conditions quickly deteriorated as the day progressed, and at the time I would have had to walk down to get her off the bus after school it was thundering and lightning and just pouring. No way was I taking her out in weather like that!


So yesterday I did nothing but play Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion on my PS3 and cooked dinner and did the dishes. Thats IT. Today is a similar feeling day, but if I do not fold those clothes we will have to go naked lol.


In other news, the garden is coming along nicely, almost everything is sprouted and thriving thank goodness.


I am currently sitting here trying to come up with a menu plan to help me grocery shop more efficiently and better handle the soaring food costs here, but I SUCK at menu planning. I am a " What do I feel like cooking today?" type of person, not a " Okay Monday is meatloaf, Tuesday is chili, Wednesday is Chicken Alfredo.." type person. I will figure it out I suppose.


Also, Mrs.B over at Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom is doing a "30 Days of Advocacy Against Witch Hunts" and has created a donation page at Just Giving to help Stepping Stones Nigeria in their battle to help children in the Niger Delta to stop being tortured and killed over accusations of being witches and wizards. I donated this morning, and if you would like to help, just click HERE and donate. Every dollar helps!


For more information on what else you can do to help, head over to Mrs. B's page and read her posts about the subject.


That sums up my week so far. Now to drag myself out of this chair and get that laundry folded. *Sighs*

Not as planned...

Today did not quite go as planned, but I am used to that lol.


My intentions were to do next to nothing, on this last day of "vacation", and play my game all day, but I had a hard time going to sleep last night, and I had a few very vivid and confusing dreams. I slept way later than I wanted to since I did not get to sleep until late, and when I got up I felt a little disoriented and realized I wanted to wash my bed sheets and blankets, and take a shower, and other stuff, and there just was  not enough hours left in the day to play the game before Jack got home. 


So I am putting it off until tomorrow, when Alex goes back to school. I can spend an hour straightening up after she gets on the bus, and this will leave me most of the day to play. It all works out in the end.


I am so ready for the peace and quiet tomorrow should bring when the house will be empty again!


I am waiting for dinner to finish cooking, I am making beef and broccoli with rice tonight...I have been craving stir fry and Asian themed food like crazy the last few days, not sure why.


I guess Jack will play his game tonight after dinner since we do not have any TV to watch, and I might just settle in with the surprise book I got as a gift from Perth today. Once I read it, and the last one in the series ( I got the second book from my mom for Christmas, Perth bought me the first ) then I intend to do a book review on the series. The second book, which I read first, really grabbed me and struck me in a way that no book has done in decades, so I am anxious to share them with you all!


Have a great week everyone!

Order is restored!

After a  very hard day yesterday of no cleaning, ( we all know the old new year's day superstitions, right? ) I have been cleaning since my feet hit the floor this morning!


The laundry save for the bed sheets I am washing is all done and put away, the living room is clean, vacuumed and dusted, the holiday decor is put away for another year, and the house looks much better and I feel much better.


I still need to clean Alex's room, and straighten mine, but I will wait until she goes back to school on Tuesday before I tackle those. I do not want to hear the " But Mama, I NEED that!" arguments that come when I go through her things when she is here. My room is not dirty, it just needs a good dusting and a rearranging of some things.


Later in the week I have some other things that need to be done, like the movie and game cabinet needs to be gone through and reorganized...and I need to organize the pantry and the kitchen, but I will get to that later. 


Tomorrow I am going to sit on my rear and play Final Fantasy 13 all day since I have not gotten to play but once since I got the PS3 for Christmas. Jack has been hogging it, but that is okay, I am always trying to get him to play, and he finally got a game that will hold his attention for long periods of time, which is rare!


After I get done washing the sheets I have to get Alex in the bath. Tonight is normal school day bedtime for everyone, as Jack goes back to work tomorrow after a long weekend and to get her back in the habit before Tuesday. I am so ready to have my routine back, I just can not tell you!


I am so ready to get this year started, and get to work on some projects. Income tax time is coming at the end of the month, and that is always something we look forward to. I have three birthdays to celebrate this month; Jack's is on the 15th, my father's is on the 18th and my eldest daughter will be turning 14 on the 21st!


I have been doing some personal journal writing, which is something I always tried to do in the past with pen and paper, but never stuck with it, so I started a private online journal, which is more suited to my needs and I have written a few things in it so far. I have also been tweeting more, and trying to interact with people on Facebook more. Last year was the year for going within and growing and processing, this year will be the year I come out of the dark cave and embrace the light once more, and I am really looking forward to it!


I just feel really good, full of energy and promise, unlike anything I have felt in a long time.


Tonight I am making a yummy dinner of beef roast with roasted potatoes, black eyed peas and turnip greens, along with some cornbread. I was supposed to make it last night for new years dinner, but we had a heavy late lunch and no one was hungry, so I just decided to do it tonight instead. I hate to cook when no one is hungry, I feel it just goes to waste.


I think that sums it up for now, I am off to go get those sheets in the dryer. 


Have a fantastic week everyone!

A Little Bit Of Randomness...

Howdy folks. I just wanted to jump in here and say that my new daily posts are going ahead as planned! That is, as long as the demons that possessed my computer yesterday are fully exercised lol. The phone lines were being worked on and then my internet connection software went all haywire. Hooray for Friday when Mercury goes direct!


Anyways, the new implements on the blog are going as planned. I need to find some time to do some graphic work for each day but that is part of the fun. A couple of the days...ok...most of them...require some research on my part in order to post them, so I am pretty excited about it. It does mean, however, some of my posts will likely come late and night or really early in the morning before I crash for my "night." That is when I have to most peace and quiet to think and research and write.


One of the things I have long noticed, but did not really care about, was that I spend tons of time waiting for things to load, especially graphic heavy pages or games. I have dial up and it sometimes takes upwards of an hour to play a simple game. Now I love to read, but I have long  since faced the fact that I am an internet addict, and if I can be online, I will be. But when I load these games, since it is counter productive to load anything else, since it slows down the download time of my game or whatnot, I have decided to use those loading times to read, or go do something productive. That way I still get my net fix, but still do other things I like or need to do as well. This probably sounds like a small thing to most people, but to a chronic procrastinator, this is a great plan lol.


So I think that sums it up for this post. I hope you enjoy the new daily posts as they happen, and feedback is always appreciated!


Have a great week everyone!