It's been a long week...

I know I still owe you all a Part Two of my last post...but it has been a long week. It is also hard to write a post about how you have changed in regards to love, when you want to smack your spouse with a 2x4.

It's been one of those weeks y'all.

We ran errands for two days, and I alternated with being really busy to not having the energy to move.

This morning I got Alex off to school and since it is a Friday and I do not have to get up early tomorrow, I went back to bed until a little after noon.

The mood of the house has not been that great this week either. When the money is gone the day you get it, it tends to make things a little tense.

Such is life.

Next week both Jack and I have doctors appointments. He, for his post-op follow up appointment, and my appointment is to meet with the neurologist to talk about Parkinson's.

I also got picked for Jury Duty yesterday. Thrilling, eh?

So it has just been a long week and I am glad the weekend is here.

We have no plans. We are just going to chill out here at home and watch the race tomorrow night.

So that sums up my week. How was yours? Any plans for the weekend? The weather has been nicer this last week. It seems like Spring is finally here in North Florida. How is the weather where you are?

I will be back soon, with Part Two...once I decide if I need that 2x4 or not...

Have a great weekend everyone!

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Just rambling...

That is all I am writing today.  Random and rambling thoughts. I have no set topic, I just want to write, and to purge, to make space in my brain.

I changed the blog layout some. I am not finished, but either my computer or Blogger is acting strange, it will not let me implement any more changes. Maybe it was a sign to leave it alone for now, who knows.

I have a few writing projects in the works. I will be participating in NaBloWriMo, which is posting a blog post daily for the entire month of October. I am looking forward to it. Last year got screwed up by me breaking my ankle, so I am hoping this year I will be able to complete the month as planned. I am also participating in the Samhain Siren's project, which I am very excited about. If you click the link there, it will take you to the Facebook page that was created. If you are on FB, please "like" the page so you can stay updated. There is also a blog which is where all the magic will be happening in a little over a week. There will be blog posts, giveaways, music, and much, much more. I am honored to be included in this wonderful group of people.

I also need to do some writing for Planet Buddha, which I have not done in a little while, which I am not happy about. Not happy about not writing, not the fact that I need to write lol. I love it there. As most of you know, this year has been hectic and mostly difficult, and every time I sit down to write, something happens that I have to tend to, and when I do get to sit here, my brain is so tired and weary, I just stare at the blank screen, and the words won't come.

I do not really want to talk about Jack, since every second of every day is all about Jack right now, but there is something I feel the need to purge. Ever since surgery he has hardly slept. Not really due to pain, although there is that, but he just can not seem to stay asleep for longer than 30 minutes to an hour. He has probably gotten 6 or 7 hours of real sleep in an entire WEEK. It is starting to affect his mind and body. He is hearing things, songs, radios playing, where there is no music around. We do not even HAVE a regular radio in the house. His temperament is terrible. He is now always irritated and snappish, and has serious mood swings. He does not do it on purpose, I know that. I can SEE the delusional gleam in his red and weary eyes. He has started throwing up, randomly, and violently.He will get upset over something, which is 1000 times worse than it should be, due to lack of sleep, and suddenly he just runs to the bathroom and projectile vomits. It is terrible. Today I put a call in to his doctor about it, but of course we have to go through that bitch nurse, so who knows when we will hear from them. In the meantime, I dosed him with some of my melatonin. Since it is a natural compound of the body, our brains produce it naturally, I figured it would be safe to give him, it should not interact with his medicine that he is taking. He is still getting up and down today, but he has been laying down for about an hour, I hope he is asleep. Or not, the bedroom door just opened. *Sighs* He just can not seem to stay asleep. I sent him back to bed. Our bedroom is like a cave, I can not sleep when there is any light, and I basically forbade him to turn the TV on in there, so hopefully it will make it easier for him to drift off. I do not know what else to do for him. His body can not heal properly when he is unable to sleep and recover. I am at a loss. Hopefully the doctor can help him.

I am tired myself. So tired. Everything seems to take so much more effort than it should. I feel like I am stuck in mud or quicksand, and the harder I try to fight it and get out of it, the faster I sink. I need a break, but I know there will be none for quite some time.

I have been reading a lot. It keeps me distracted, and helps to keep me sane. I have been reading a lot of memoirs and biography type books, true stories, things like that. I am reluctant to admit it, but I like reading stories of people who have had it worse than me, it makes me feel a little bit better, as selfish as that sounds. It helps to know that there are other people out there, who have nothing to do with my life, that have it rough too. It is somehow comforting.

I guess that is it for now. The words are not flowing anymore, and I am grasping for things to say, so I think I will end here. I hope you all have a great week and a wonderful day.

A weird day...

That is what yesterday was for me. The whole day just had an off kilter vibe.

Good things and bad things happened yesterday. The first good thing to happen was that the guy finally showed up to replace our phone lines. Apparently the ones coming from the road to our house were old, and fried in one of the many recent storms we have had over the last month. The result was that we could not hear anything on our phone, due to the static and crackling sounds. Even trying to call something with an automated menu was impossible because you could not hear, and the interference was so bad the computer could not even tell which numbers we were pressing. This has been going on for over a month, and with doctors and lawyers and such needing to be called and to get calls from, I was very stressed out.

So dude comes and tells us he has to run new lines, and it will not take long. He told the truth. The Ditch Witch he had was a monster, and it ran the lines in no time flat.

Enter the first bad thing. As he was pulling the lines through the ground, he snapped the water line running from our well into the house...in two places. So we had no water. I started to freak, but the dude came prepared ( according to him most places never bury their water lines deep enough to protect them, resulting in a lot of breaks ) and in less than 45 minutes we had water again. This guy was cool, I liked him.

Alex and I were getting ready to go to her Open House for school. Jack was supposed to go with us but he had to wait around for the phone guy to make sure the lines were clear, and in case anything else happened. The guy got done right as Alex and I were loading up in the truck to head to the school.

Enter the second bad thing. The truck would not crank. Jack came out to look and listen, and he said the fuel pump was not engaging. So we were stranded. I go in the house and use the now crystal clear phone line to call Mom, and begged her to come get us and take us to the Open House. ( She lives about ten minutes away..) Thankfully she agreed. So we go and meet Alex's new teacher, who is a very nice lady, and get her bus schedule and let her go say hello to her friends and teachers she missed from last year. After explaining everything to Mom, she was going to see if maybe she could help us with the cost of a fuel pump, which is several hundred dollars, but she made no promises.

We get home and Mom drops us off and leaves, and I come in to make Alex and I something to eat, since Jack made his own dinner. A few minutes later he goes outside for a few, and when he came back in I asked him what he was doing.

"Cranking the truck.." he said.

Me: " How in the hell did you manage that?"

Jack: " Pfft please, I AM still a mechanic you know!"

Me: " So it's fixed?"

Jack: "Fixed enough for now."

Me: " Good enough for me, call Mom and tell her not to worry about the money for now."

So he did and  that was the end of that. There was some corrosion or something somewhere, I do not know, I leave that kind of thing up to him for the most part. Point is the truck runs...or at least I think it does, he has not tried to crank it yet today lol. Hopefully it will.

So now that all the drama of yesterday is over, today is the last day of "vacation" and I am excited. Here shortly after Alex finishes breakfast, we are going to do some cleaning and pick out her clothes for tomorrow. Later I will give her a shower ( giving her one in the mornings before school is just to taxing on me, it takes me a while to wake up and move around, getting old sucks sometimes lol ) and if Jack feels up to it, he is going to help me start Operation Blueberry, which is me dying my hair blue for a little while. I have to dye it blonde first and let it rest and heal a little before I put the blue on in like a week or so, maybe two. I need his help with the blonde as it has to be totally covered. When I dye it different shades of red it does not matter if I miss a streak or two, as I am naturally red headed, so it does not show up much. Red streaks mixed in with the blonde would be very noticeable, and while it may look interesting, my dark red hair will not take the blue dye..so it needs to be as even as possible. Hence me needing his help if he is up to it. We shall see.

Other than that, we are just going to hang out and enjoy a last day of not doing much before the early mornings and homework start. I am actually looking forward to it for the most part. Except the homework part. Her homework sucks lol.

Have a great Wednesday folks!  For those of you who have kids, have they started school yet?

Sooo tired

Cop out post tonight folks. It has been a long day of running errands and shopping and tomorrow is more of the same. I did get my nails done, which are awesome, and it was just a good day. Bought Alex a ton of colder weather clothes and got her cake ordered. Tomorrow we go to shop for gifts and go to the library as we ran out of time today since there was a considerable wait at the nail place. I will post more about it tomorrow when I am not dog tired. I am headed to bed in just a few minutes. Hope you all have a great night!

Lazy Day

Not much going on here. Perth put a new graphics card and RAM in my computer, so I have been enjoying that since yesterday. Jack is home today and he and Perth are playing a race game on the PS2. It is rainy and cool here today. Once of those days you want to curl up in bed with a good book. Apparently it is Columbus Day, but I had no idea until I saw it on Facebook. Alex had school so it was like any other weekday for me. I did get to sleep in some since Jack was home, that was nice. Nothing else is going on really. I am trying to decide what to have for dinner but all I know so far is that is will most likely involve chicken lol.

The rain had my foot aching so I am just taking it easy today. So...it is a lazy day here in the House Of Bellz.

Take care folks.

Busted Ankle

Just wanted to let everyone know I broke my ankle Sunday afternoon whilst trying to hop up on Vix' back porch. My flip flop got caught on the edge of the porch and I over compensated and fell about 4 feet, with all of my weight on my right ankle. Shattered it in 3 places.

I had surgery Monday, and I have been recovering at my parents house. I will continue to be here until I am healed, as I can not walk for almost 3 months and I can not be alone due to the severity of my injury. I now have a 5 inch metal plate in my leg and several screws. I have to go back in a few days and get the staples taken out and a hard cast put on, right now I am in a semi-soft fiberglass cast.

My parents have been so kind. Taking care of me and making sure Alex is cared for while I am out of commission. I wish Mom had a lap top so I could blog from bed but she does not so I will just have to make baby posts. I can sit here for about an hour before the pain gets to be to much and I have to go elevate it again.

Hope you are all well!

Strange days

It really has been such an odd week.

I had to put my foot down to Vix and her crew about using my house phone as their phone. Well, mostly her kids using it to call them when they decide to stay out till all hours of the night. If it is an emergency, that is one thing, but when you are knocking on my door at 11 at night just to call and see when they ( their parents ) might be coming home, I have a problem with that. Especially when it was almost every single night. The dog would freak and bark, which would wake Jack up, which means he was pissy with me at being woke up. Yeah, that had to stop.

Tonight was fun too, they decided to come to MY house while they were fighting, bringing drama to my very carefully tended drama free zone. I told them to take that shit right back across the fence. I love Vix, but they have issues that bother me, especially when it drags me into the middle of their mess. No thanks.

I still have that feeling of running around like a chicken with my tail feathers on fire. The messed up part is I am running ragged yet it seems NOTHING is being accomplished. Thank goodness for Jack, once again. He got to come home early today due to the 132 degree temp in their shop, and he decided to clean out all the cabinets I can not easily reach. Those being the ones over the fridge and over the washer and dryer. He even moved the shelving in one of the washer cabinets so I can finally put my washing soap, softener and stain treatment bottles in there out of the way instead of sitting on top of the dryer, looking all cluttered.

In the cabinet over the fridge he found a wealth of old cooking magazines I forgot I even had, so over the weekend I will be cutting the stuff out I want to keep and file them away in my recipe box.

We threw a lot of stuff away that had been in those cabinets for YEARS. Felt good to finally toss that stuff.

I am hoping I can get him to help me in our room this weekend. I am not going to paint it until Alex goes back to school in just under two weeks, but I want to go ahead and get the bookshelf and bed moved and I need his help to do it. Not to mention weed through all the clothes I have to part with and realize I am never going to fit in them again or if I do they will be so far out of style there is no reason to hang on to them. Same for Alex's clothes, but hers is a matter of getting rid of the stuff that no longer fits. We only have a few days to get her some school clothes and I am nervous, as we are totally strapped for money and can not really afford to get her anything. We do at least have all the supplies she needs for the classroom.

I know I have been talking a lot about projects we are working on for the house, and it probably seems that we are blowing money. I assure you we are not. All the wood he is using to make stuff is salvaged. Did not cost us a dime. I spent 12 dollars on the gallon of paint for my room, and 4 dollars total for the two small cans of paint I used in Alex's room. We re-purpose a lot of stuff, so other than the floor tile ( 10 bucks a box ) and the paint, everything else has been free. Him being a mechanic he has all the tools we could ever need, and as his dad was a wonderful carpenter ( as a hobby, not by profession ) he learned a lot from his dad, so he is making things instead of us having to buy them.

I don't know, things are just...odd. Not bad, just strange feeling.

Maybe because there is a sense of anticipation, with school starting again soon, Vix and her crew deciding after 2 months of me feeling in limbo not to move to the place they were looking at, and several household projects in the works.

Not to mention we are both getting tired of clutter and such. We have purged just about all we can, now it is a matter of finding a place for it to live neatly. It gives me such a burst of energy when he helps me. Makes me feel motivated when he joins in and helps me. I like the feeling of us working on things together.

I guess that is all for tonight. Tomorrow is Friday..( okay since it is after midnight it already is Friday lol ) and I do not have to cook and I get two whole days of Jack being home and doing stuff with me yay!

Have a great weekend guys and gals!

Checking In...

Hello my lovelies.

Yes, I KNOW I have missed a few blog posts, but things have been hectic around here, and at night when things finally calm down I am just to brain dead to scare up a post. Nothing wrong, nothing major, just a ton of little things that add up to a hectic and busy day.

Phone calls, visitors, being zapped from the heat, dog gastrointestinal issues....on top of the everyday house cleaning and cooking and laundry. My brain is just fried.


School starts on the 18th and I need to start getting our sleeping schedules turned back around, but it seems no matter how early I get to bed, we still sleep till 11 or so in the morning! Of course "early" is midnight, and during school days I go to bed at 9 or 10, depending on if the few shows I watch on TV are in season or not. I am going to let it be through the weekend, and start in earnest Monday.


I did get Alex's walls painted somewhat. She picked out a few cookie cutters and I gathered the paint colors and one night we got in there and just goofed off, painting the shapes and I did some freehand spirals and wavy lines. She did a lot of it herself, and painted hair on some bears and what not. I was not going for some strict professional look, it is her room and I gave her free reign over it and she loves it. Here are a couple of pics:

She actually likes to play and sleep in there now, so we did a good thing I suppose!

I still need to work on my room and get it cleared out so I can put my gorgeous sapphire blue paint on the walls, but I am seriously thinking of holding off on the painting in there until Alex returns to school and I do not have to worry about her spilling very dark blue paint all over anything. She wants to "help" with everything and there are just some things I rather her not even be around. Working with dark paint in my room is one of those things for sure.

Jack is currently making a headboard for our bed. He engraved a couple of hearts on it, one on each of our sides, and once he sands it we are going to wood burn a design and our "nicknames" on it and then stain it. I used to go by Dark Angel ( Angel being my nickname for Angela since birth ) and he is Nightwolf. He wants to put Dark Angel but I can not decide if I want that or Bella. Probably Dark Angel, it may be cheesy but it fits lol. I downloaded some kick ass Celtic fonts and I am going to blow them up and make a stencil out of them, so the letters will be Celtic looking, and we are thinking maybe a Celtic cross for the center, but that is undecided as of right now. Maybe a Love Knot or something.

On top of that, my eldest daughter has shingles, on her face of all places. She is in pain and her eye is swollen almost shut, and as it is only a couple of weeks before she starts High School, you can imagine the snit her 14 year old self is in over all of this. She is on antibiotics and a pain medicine, and she went to the eye doctor yesterday to make sure it had not gotten IN her eye. Thankfully it had not, but it has to be watched very carefully. The redness goes from her eye and follows the nerve all the way around to the back of her head. I feel so bad for her and wish there was more I could do.

My Dad has not bounced back from his episode in the hospital the other week either. He came home after they finally did a heart cath after stabilizing his potassium levels, and two days later he was screaming in pain because the entry point for the cath in his groin was agonizing, which is not normal for him. He went back to the ER and they gave him meds, he had pulled the muscle or something right there at the entry point, and his groin area is black and blue, according to him. Then on top of that, his gout flared up, making him unable to walk much.

Needless to say my poor Mom is exhausted and running herself ragged which is very bad for her own health. I expect her to crash soon to be honest, and it sucks because there is not much we can do about it. A lot of the things that have to be taken care of, only she can deal with it. I can not even offer to drive them to appointments as I still have not been able to afford to get my drivers license renewed. Sucks too because of all those flaming hoops I had to jump through just to get the damn paperwork to prove who I was so I can get the damn thing.

I have been doing a lot of research into dehydration, as I am realizing a LOT of my physical problems and my mood problems are coming from lack of fluid. I never realized just how much havoc being dehydrated can cause for a person. It also explains my wonky moon times. Jack figured out why I bled like a stuck pig this last time. I am chronically dehydrated, and the day I started we were at the lake and I spent 6 hours in the water. The skin absorbs water, so since I started that night and bled so heavy, but for a normal amount of time, his hypothesis is that being in the water all that time allowed me to NOT be dehydrated for a change, so things flowed as they were supposed to. It just seemed extra heavy to me because I am used to 11 to 21 days of spitting and sputtering so to speak, because there was not enough fluid in me to let things come out as they should. Makes perfect sense if you think about it. SO I have been making an effort to be much more mindful of my fluid intake. I notice the difference big time if I drink less on any given day than I am supposed to.

I think that sums it up for now, that is the lowdown on what has been happening for the last week. This heat is sapping the life out of everything. The heat index for my area was 128 two days ago, according to the weather channel website. A hundred and twenty-eight freaking degrees. The real temp has been between 99 and 105 with a 100% humidity level, so it has just been flat out miserable around these parts. You have to lean forward to walk around outside, the heat is so oppressive it feels like it is pushing against you!

I hope that you are all staying cool as possible, and I hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

The space in between...

I know I have been kind of quiet these days. Nothing is wrong, just lots of little things going on.

For starters, you all know we have been working on some house projects. New tile, Jack finally fixed my cabinet drawers, I bought paint for my bedroom in the most gorgeous Sapphire blue, and some pink and teal paint to sponge paint Alex's walls. She decided instead that she wanted to take the 40000 cookie cutters in all kinds of shapes a friend gave me a long time ago and paint shapes on her walls. I am down with that! 

Jack is also going to make doors to cover our built in pantry, and little doors to cover the open cubbies on my desk. I love my desk and have posted pics here before, but as I was saying on a friend's blog ( Seriously, check her out. Her blog is Secret Agent Soul Truth and she is awesome. Tell her I sent ya! ) as much as I love my desk, I still do not feel it is "my perfect writing space" because of the open cubbies, and since the desk can be seen as you walk in the door, I have a bunch of decorative stuff on it instead of using it as a functioning writers desk. With the doors, I can hide my stuff so to speak from looking jumbled or cluttered when it is filled with the things I create with. It thrilled me when out of the blue Jack suggested he make hinged doors for each cubby without me even mentioning my plight to him!

Speaking of Jack, I do not know what has gotten into him but he has turned into Mr. HandyMan and I love it. Now when I mention something I would love in the house he jumps on the idea and tries to figure out how we can do it, or something similar. He is planning on building a small covered deck out the back door to put the washer and dryer on so we can slide the two pantry cabinets we have into the space they use, thus turning the 3 cabinets on the wall into more pantry space, and the cabinets will slide right into the space the washer/dryer vacates, making a pantry wall so to speak. I am thrilled with this idea.

Before I paint my room I want to figure out the best way to arrange it so it looks better and is more functional. Right now everything is just crammed in where it will fit due to the smallness of the room and the largeness of my bed. No, I will not get a smaller bed, we fight on my queen size for leg room as it is lol. I like to sleep sprawled on my back now due to my torn rotator cuff in my shoulder, and he likes to sleep diagonal for some reason.

So I want to see if we can make more sense of it than the way it is now. I just know that something has changed in his mindset and I am reaping the benefits of it.

Let's see, what else? Oh yeah. We went to the lake for the first time in a couple of weeks yesterday, and met one of my oldest friend and her family met us there. I have not seen my friend in two years and it was wonderful to spend time with her and her family. I am so in love with her and her husband and her two precious kids. I think ( and I hope ) we will all be spending a lot more time together in the future.

School starts back on the 18th of August, and in another week or so it will be time to switch things back around and get Alex and myself back on a "school" schedule, meaning earlier to bed and earlier to rise. I am ready to be honest. Staying up late may suit my inner self but it can be lonely and a little boring when no one else is really around. ( Except for two of my best friends, they are night owls like me but even they have to go to bed or work at times lol )

I have a couple of other things I want to write about but I feel they deserve posts of their own so I am going to close here. Yes I KNOW I say that and seldom write about whatever it is, but this is meaningful to me so it will happen lol. Another one of those changes I keep alluding to!

Have a great week folks!

Busy Busy Busy....

I am smack dab in the middle of a super busy long weekend, of which I will not bore you with all the details and most of it is largely mundane.


Still, I am running around like crazy. Today was shopping and tearing up the old tile in my kitchen and laying new tile, the usual cleaning, etc etc.


Tomorrow is happy time at the lake, which we have not been to in 3 weeks, laundry, and preparing cheesecake stuffed strawberries for the cookout at my parent's place on the 4th. Yes. Cheesecake stuffed strawberries. It is okay to drool, I did when I first saw them.


I am so freaking happy that my kitchen floor is mostly finished. All that is left is the strip under my desk. We were just to tired to get to it tonight. Then comes the laundry area which will be the same color as the kitchen, and the bathroom, which will be a different, undecided color. Now you can walk in the house and see nothing but new tile instead of half new, half old and shitty looking. I happily threw my floor protector ( the huge plastic sheets you see in offices, especially ones with carpet, so the chair will roll easily ) out the back door to deal with later. It was never to protect the floor, but to prevent the crumbling old tiles from getting caught up in the chair wheels and to hide the worst of the damaged spots. 


As we scraped off the old tile, we found that someone had laid new tile on top of old tile so it was nice and thick and a pain in the ass to get rid of. We scraped down to the wood floor and sanded it so it was a clean base and not the shoddy half assed job the landlord or whomever did the last time. It looks so much better and I am so excited that I will be able to mop without the mop getting snagged on peeling tile or caught in the old adhesive, ripping my mop up.


Here is a pic of the tile, not on the floor but from a website. Looks just like this:

Eventually we will do something with the carpet, which I keep cleaned with my steamer but it is so old and threadbare cleaning it does not make it look any better. Sad part is, we rent. Have been here for 7 years in August, but the landlord will fix NOTHING unless it is structural. Out of all the houses this dude rents, we are the only ones who have stayed and are on time, for SEVEN years. You would think he would be a bit more grateful but I guess not. People ask me why we do it, when we rent, since if we ever leave we do all the work for "nothing," and I tell them it is not for nothing. I have to live here. My family has to live here, so if it makes the place nicer while we are here, then it is worth it. We can not afford some huge swanky place, so I will make what we are blessed with work. It may not be super pretty but it is clean and it is home. That is good enough for me.


Other than that, not much else going on out of the ordinary around these parts.  I hope you all have a lovely weekend, and be safe during your celebrations!

Late night randomness..

He is showing and telling you what he needs, and you are brushing him off. Stop it. We know how well that worked out last time.


Remember the card. New directions. The signs are there. Heed them.


If you are tired of moving it around, throw it away or give it away.


Clean out your pantries.


Get started on that garden journal.


Flower painting tomorrow, you promised this time.


Simple can still be good. Simple is aesthetically pleasing to you. Remember? 


Those two cabinets over the coffee pot? Yeah, do something about that before you brain yourself.


Enjoy the weekend, Monday you need to get back to it. You will have the free time now...


Go look in the mirror and say " I love you" to yourself. Smile. Mean it.


Have a great weekend everyone!

WTFE Wednesday

Howdy folks. We are going with some randomness today yay!


Today I shelled a five gallon bucket of black eyed peas from our garden. My thumbs are sore.


I enjoyed it. I find shelling beans and peas and processing stuff from the garden very satisfying and therapeutic!


I do not remember if I mentioned this before, but I am going to embark on creating a Garden Journal, made from the things we plant, or rather ABOUT the things we plant. So when we go to plant next year we can thumb through the garden journal and see what we need to do for the best possible crop, document our trial and errors, things like that. I am excited about it, but I have not started it yet. I will.


I have been collecting 20 oz and 2 liter soda bottles, and I have been cutting the bottoms off of them to use in a project. Check out the bottom next time you drink one, see that natural flower shape? I am going to be doing some glittering and painting and hanging to make pretty flowers out of them! I finally have enough so hopefully tomorrow Alex and I will start on that. Oh, and I will be making my own glitter too. Mmmhmm. I rock.


I had an emotional breakdown of sorts yesterday. Spent half the morning crying over old shit, as in decades old shit. The day got better as it wore on, and I found out I was not the only one having a rough day yesterday. But I'm feeling muuuch better! ( Bonus points to anyone who knows what show that phrase came from! )


Today was pretty lax, I played around on POGO and washed some clothes, reheated leftover chili for dinner and did pretty much nothing else until 9 this evening when I got a wild hair and started shelling peas I was going to save for tomorrow.


My PS3 misses me, but with Alex home it is hard to wrestle control of the TV away from her. It has been 98 to 103 here for the last two weeks, to hot to go outside, and she has not played with the kids across the street much, so when she is not playing she watches movies. That is, until she realizes I am perfectly content in whatever I am doing and decides to intervene, because that is just not allowed!


So the lazy days of Summer vacation are in full swing, and that is alright with me!


How YOU doin???

Just a SMALL fraction of what I have been shelling lol.

Projects...

Happy Memorial Day folks!


No big cookout planned here today, it is just SO hot, none of us feel much like doing anything. In fact I think Jack is taking a nap, he went to rest about an hour ago and I have not heard anything from him lol.


After a kind of bummer weekend, Jack and I got into a blow up this morning. Over nothing, as usual lol. I am a grouch when I wake up, everyone knows this, and after 7 years together you would think he would know better than to..well..speak to me until I wake up. I woke up this morning...okay, around noon, and the house was a wreck. I stepped out of my bedroom, which is by the back door and stepped in dirt, as usual since the garden is right outside the back door. I hate that. I understand with him and Alex and the dog in and out it is going to track dirt in but I HATE dirt on my floors, and to step right into it irritates me. I was grumbling to myself as I swept it up and out the back door, and had he left me alone, I would have gotten over it in about 5 minutes and once I was fully awake I would have been fine. But no, he came at me all wrong and it started an argument that had no point. It quickly burned itself out, as always, and things were back to normal.


After that little snafu we cleaned up and started talking about the garden, and plans we have for it. We are going to raise chickens and rabbits for eggs and food, and for fertilizer from their leavings, not to mention the chickens help control the garden pest population. We have to buy fencing, because our neighbors refuse to keep their dogs either on a lead or in the house like everyone else does in the neighborhood, so safety is a big concern. 


We are going to be planting the next round of crops this coming weekend, and while he and I were talking I decided I would make us a garden journal. It will keep track of what we plant, and what we need to grow it properly and what fertilizer and what not each kind of plant needs. I am excited as I love to do stuff like that, and for the first time in a long time I am excited about something. I think that is part of the reason I have been down, I am bored, nothing is stimulating me, nothing new happens, so starting this project will be good for me I think.


Wednesday Alex and I are going to spend the day at my parent's house, which will also be good as it will break up the monotony that is my every day life lol.


Other than that, not much else going on today. Just relaxing before Jack has to return to work tomorrow. I plan to start working on the journal tomorrow.


I hope you are all having a wonderful day!


I leave you with a picture of one of our tomato plants...this is a Cherokee Purple Tomato, supposedly when they mature, they turn a deep purple hue inside and out, and are supposed to be really tasty. They are of the beefsteak variety and they are already bigger than Jack's fist, and they are not even close to ready lol. I am excited to see what they will look like when they are ripe!

  

WTFE Wednesday

So I think instead of calling it Open Letter Wednesday, which I hate, I am going to change things up a little bit. First, the name change, and second, the contents. Instead of just open letters, it could be a rant or random facts or things I love or hate or wtf ever, with me so far? Hell, it could even be a mix of all of those, which is what today's post is!


I really feel for the people in the flood zones right now. I can not imagine knowing your house and land is going to be wiped out by opening flood gates and not being able to do a damn thing but watch it happen.


I have decided tonight is a non meat night. I am wondering how Jack will take it. He is ever the carnivore. Alex and I will be happy however. Anything involving roasted brussel sprouts makes me happy.


I am still looking for a new layout for my blog. I want something darker and sexier, as that is where my personality is at these days.


I have been all light and rainbows and butterflies for about 6 months now, and, as the Wheel does turn through the seasons, it also turns in my mind and soul. The fiery sun is setting, and the mysterious moon is on the rise. I love it when that happens.


I just tripped over my dog and busted my ass. Ow. It sucks having to make sure when you fall, you do not land on said little dog, or you will squish him flat.


I have been feeling restless for about a week now, and that can be dangerous as I like to do stupid things when I get that way. It only just occurred to me that I get the feeling every time I switch from light to dark so to speak, and I should realize it for what it is. As well as realize as soon as the transition is complete the feeling will go away and to not do anything I might regret later.


I just learned that a guy I slept with for about a week when I was 16 has no memory of it, and I am highly amused that he is way more upset than I am over it lol. I do find it interesting that back then, he wanted to be with me, and I wanted to be with him ( in a serious way ) but we were both to scared to mention it, thinking the other would turn us down. So we never said anything. Now, almost 17 years later we are friends, both happily married with kids, and it finally comes out lol. Funny how things work sometimes. We were both part of the "Way to mature for our age" group in school. We all left home early and got on with our lives long before our peers did. Of course, as mature as we were, we knew nothing of the "real adult world" and we all had it pretty rough for the first parts of our adulthoods. Stay at home as long as you can kids, learn what this big old world is about before you decide to jump into it feet first. The more you prepare, the better it will be!


I finally got to hang ALONE with Vix for the first time in almost 2 weeks. They have a new temporary roommate who is out of doors and she is driving every one crazy. Me included since with her there all the time, Vix ( who is a solitary person like me ) is always in a bad mood, and even if she tries to escape over here, the chick follows her over. So today, since it is in the 40's this morning, she drove the kids down to the bus stop, and since Steph and the roommate were still sleeping as they were both off work, she came over and hung out with me for about 45 minutes. I never realize how much I miss her until she is here after being gone for a while.


Two more full and two half days of school left and then I get to sleep in and stay up late yay!


We are going to put tile down in my kitchen, bathroom and laundry area over the next week or two. I am so excited about this fact!


Okay so this was a "please excuse me while I throw up random things floating in my brain" kind of post. Still , it IS WTFE Wednesday lol..


Enjoy the rest of your week!

I haz a high speed...and other thoughts...

Yes folks, I finally got high speed. Yay. A whole new world has opened up for me lol. Well, sort of. I am so used to NOT doing much because things took so long to load, I am having to retrain myself to try new things.


Not much going on here this week, which is fine with me. I have cooked some awesome food, hung out with awesome friends, and roasted awesome marshmallows last night with Vix and Steph's kids as well as Alex.


We transplanted seedlings in the garden, and started more in the mini greenhouse.


I washed and put away an insane amount of laundry.


I laid in bed at night and wrote deep blog posts in my head, and when the dawn broke I decided not to post them.


Time changed, meaning it is past my bedtime and I am not tired.


Horror struck Japan and other places, and my heart and prayers go out to them.


I am still waiting to see if the world is going to end, as so many think.


In the meantime I am going to keep living my life the best way I know how, and see what happens.

Lazy weekend...

It has been a lazy weekend here. 


Yesterday we did nothing but play video games and relax, and watch a little TV together. Jack cooked us breakfast which was awesome, and much much later I made a yummy dinner of Spanish rice with some of the massive 26 pound turkey I cooked earlier this week mixed in.


This morning we got up early and went to Wal-Mart, where I picked up a gift for my eldest daughters 14th birthday later this month, and a new outfit for Alex to wear Tuesday. She is having a field trip to the state capitol to sing for...well....I actually have no clue who they are going to sing for. Lawmakers? Lol. She  and the other kids are going to be a human flag and she had to have a specific outfit so we picked that up as well.


Then we went to Huddle House and had a fantastic and relaxed breakfast, and then went grocery shopping.


We came home and I put it all away, then I went across the street and visited with Vicky and Stephanie for about 20 minutes, came home, started a load of clothes and Jack decided to play his game, and here I am.


I am supposed to cook tacos for dinner but to be honest I am not in the least bit hungry yet.


So it has been a nice and relaxing weekend, but I am so ready to get the week started. Lots more organizing to do..( I ripped my kitchen apart and cleaned it, rearranged the cabinets and one of my two pantries, and the pots and pans pantry. ) I need to clean out my Entertainment system, and one day this week I have to go through Alex's room and get rid of some of her old toys. She got a lot of stuff for Christmas, and her room is just a wreck, because she has more stuff than she has places to put it. So that will be an all day thing.


We found the desk that will be my new computer desk when we get income tax in. It is gorgeous wood, with a hutch on the back, full of cubby holes and cabinets and drawers, so I will finally have a place to keep all my computer and office stuff within reach, instead of all over the house where I have room for it. I am using a plain kitchen table now, shoved against the wall. No drawers or places to put anything. I am so excited and can not wait! Two more weeks and we get to have some fun!


Other than that, not much else going on. Just more of the endless purging and reorganizing that never seems to end lol.


I hope you all have a wonderful week!

Not as planned...

Today did not quite go as planned, but I am used to that lol.


My intentions were to do next to nothing, on this last day of "vacation", and play my game all day, but I had a hard time going to sleep last night, and I had a few very vivid and confusing dreams. I slept way later than I wanted to since I did not get to sleep until late, and when I got up I felt a little disoriented and realized I wanted to wash my bed sheets and blankets, and take a shower, and other stuff, and there just was  not enough hours left in the day to play the game before Jack got home. 


So I am putting it off until tomorrow, when Alex goes back to school. I can spend an hour straightening up after she gets on the bus, and this will leave me most of the day to play. It all works out in the end.


I am so ready for the peace and quiet tomorrow should bring when the house will be empty again!


I am waiting for dinner to finish cooking, I am making beef and broccoli with rice tonight...I have been craving stir fry and Asian themed food like crazy the last few days, not sure why.


I guess Jack will play his game tonight after dinner since we do not have any TV to watch, and I might just settle in with the surprise book I got as a gift from Perth today. Once I read it, and the last one in the series ( I got the second book from my mom for Christmas, Perth bought me the first ) then I intend to do a book review on the series. The second book, which I read first, really grabbed me and struck me in a way that no book has done in decades, so I am anxious to share them with you all!


Have a great week everyone!

Order is restored!

After a  very hard day yesterday of no cleaning, ( we all know the old new year's day superstitions, right? ) I have been cleaning since my feet hit the floor this morning!


The laundry save for the bed sheets I am washing is all done and put away, the living room is clean, vacuumed and dusted, the holiday decor is put away for another year, and the house looks much better and I feel much better.


I still need to clean Alex's room, and straighten mine, but I will wait until she goes back to school on Tuesday before I tackle those. I do not want to hear the " But Mama, I NEED that!" arguments that come when I go through her things when she is here. My room is not dirty, it just needs a good dusting and a rearranging of some things.


Later in the week I have some other things that need to be done, like the movie and game cabinet needs to be gone through and reorganized...and I need to organize the pantry and the kitchen, but I will get to that later. 


Tomorrow I am going to sit on my rear and play Final Fantasy 13 all day since I have not gotten to play but once since I got the PS3 for Christmas. Jack has been hogging it, but that is okay, I am always trying to get him to play, and he finally got a game that will hold his attention for long periods of time, which is rare!


After I get done washing the sheets I have to get Alex in the bath. Tonight is normal school day bedtime for everyone, as Jack goes back to work tomorrow after a long weekend and to get her back in the habit before Tuesday. I am so ready to have my routine back, I just can not tell you!


I am so ready to get this year started, and get to work on some projects. Income tax time is coming at the end of the month, and that is always something we look forward to. I have three birthdays to celebrate this month; Jack's is on the 15th, my father's is on the 18th and my eldest daughter will be turning 14 on the 21st!


I have been doing some personal journal writing, which is something I always tried to do in the past with pen and paper, but never stuck with it, so I started a private online journal, which is more suited to my needs and I have written a few things in it so far. I have also been tweeting more, and trying to interact with people on Facebook more. Last year was the year for going within and growing and processing, this year will be the year I come out of the dark cave and embrace the light once more, and I am really looking forward to it!


I just feel really good, full of energy and promise, unlike anything I have felt in a long time.


Tonight I am making a yummy dinner of beef roast with roasted potatoes, black eyed peas and turnip greens, along with some cornbread. I was supposed to make it last night for new years dinner, but we had a heavy late lunch and no one was hungry, so I just decided to do it tonight instead. I hate to cook when no one is hungry, I feel it just goes to waste.


I think that sums it up for now, I am off to go get those sheets in the dryer. 


Have a fantastic week everyone!

Bits and Pieces....

Since I wrote my last post on life skills, some pretty cool things have happened.

Saturday Jack went hunting, and dropped me off at my parent's house a little after 6 Am. My Dad's brother, Uncle Joe, was there visiting, and he was the only one up. He is the uncle I was least closest to because he was a career military person, so he was overseas a lot.

I ended up talking to him for most of the day, and he told me so many awesome stories about when he was in the military, and then I asked him questions about that side of the family, because I could never ask Dad, he was always feuding over something with most of the family. I told him how I felt, which I mentioned in my blog post, about family and learning skills that should have been passed down, and how I felt about all that, and he agreed with me, and told me that any time I wanted to talk, just give him a call, and I was sad to see him leave that afternoon to go home.

I got to spend some good time with the kids, and with Mom, even though she and Dad were having a tiff. ( As I have said, Dad has anger issues he is just not starting to treat...)

Sunday Jack and Alex and I went shopping, and I got the Teach yourself to knit and the Teach yourself to crochet kids, along with a bunch of yarn! I started the knitting one last night, and I can cast on now, but I am having trouble transferring the stitches from one needle to the other. Must keep practicing!

I have a sewing project this week, I am making Jack a Ghillie Suit for when he goes hunting, and I am doing it by hand since I do not own a sewing machine, or know how to use it if I did lol...I have not started it yet, I intend to do that a little later today, I would like to have to have it done by Saturday, which is when he will go back to the woods.

I started back walking today. I have not gone in the last couple of weeks, the first week due to rain, and the second week due to my moon time, which has been very long and heavy this time. I just felt so lethargic and bleh that I did not go, but I did not beat myself up over it since I knew once I was better I would go right back to it, and I have. You have to be kind to yourself, things happen and sometimes stuff does not always work out the way you planned, but giving yourself a guilt trip over it does not help matters.

So it has been a nice few days, and the temps are nice and cool during the day, and cold at night. I am loving it, and loving the energy wave I am getting as the temps start to plummet!

I hope you all have a wonderful week!

Time flies....

Good grief. Every time I want to sit down and blog, something else always comes up! Such is life right?

Anyway, I have been keeping myself busy with mundane tasks over the last several days, and some not so mundane. I FINALLY got Alex's room painted, although it is just the gods-awful purple undercoat. I am going to be sponge painting it over with pink and teal to match her bedspread and so when I get the paint and get that done I will post some pics. I did this room all alone, a couple of nights ago, stayed up all night to do it. Alex has decided she does not need to sleep more than 3 hours a night so might as well be productive while I sit up all night right lol?

I do not know what it is about this shade of purple that I despise and Jack and Alex love. It honestly looks to be the same color as grape bubble yum bubble gum. It is dark and horrendous, but everyone loves it but me lol. Oh well, I don't have to sleep in there, right lol?

In other news, I found out today that Alex got accepted into the school that I really wanted her to be in today! It is a charter school, Pre-K through eighth grade, small, with excellent staff and teachers, and with small classes ( hence the pre-k waiting list from last year that we did not get called in for ) so the students get way more of the teachers time than the other two schools she could have gone in, with 45 kids crammed into a class. I feel more comfortable with the smaller school as well, since she will be going into kindergarten and I am afraid she will be shell shocked since she has been here with me for 3 years. I know I am underestimating her, but she is my last "baby" and all of the sudden she went from independent big girl to "omg she is to little to be away from me already" lol.. That is all in my head of course, she is STILL the "way to independent for my peace of mind" almost 6 year old! I am so relieved and she is so excited.

That means I will get a few days of empty house bliss before I have to go hunt something part time for work. Jack and I sat down the other night and had a talk and decided that if I make enough to cover groceries and gas for our trucks, all will be fine, and I will not have to work full time if I do not want. Which I do not, not until Alex gets used to her new routine. Plus, being a charter school, one of the requirements of her being able to go there is for a parent to volunteer so many hours per year at the school, which is fine with me. I am going to be one of those moms who are involved in everything, so excuse me if I get annoying in telling you all about how I did this and that with her school lol..I missed out on so much with my older two, I am not going to let my last chance slip by!

Let's see, what else? Nothing much out of the ordinary has been going on, other than Alex's weird sleep schedule. Suddenly she runs wide open on only three hours of sleep and it is killing me, because if I lived in a perfect world of no responsibility, I could EASILY sleep 12 or 14 hours a day lol. I love to sleep when able, what can I say?

My birthday went well, my Mom made me an awesome cake and I got flowers and her awesome chicken salad ( I think I already posted about that ) and some other stuff, it was really nice. I am STILL weeding clutter out of my house, I think that will take the rest of my life I swear! The kids are doing well, parents are doing okay, so life is pretty normal!

I was recently honored by Magaly at Pagan Culture with an award, which is really cool. She asked 10 questions, and after I answer them I am supposed to nominate some people, but to be honest, I see so many of those "award cauldrons" and people bitching about them, I am not sure of who to send what to anymore, so if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged!

Here are the 10 questions:

1. How old were you when you first showed interest in the written word?

I was three years old when my Mom taught me to read. Both my parents were ( and still are ) avid readers, and neither of them could sit down and read without me crawling in their lap asking " What is this word?" so Mom said enough, and taught me to read. I have read avidly ever since!

2. What is your favorite old time book and why?

The first book that impacted my life was The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean Auel. I read it when I was 8 or 9 and fell in love with it, and read the whole series. It was unlike anything I have ever read, it went into so much detail about hunting and gathering, from food to medicinal, and with practical application, and prehistoric life. The research Jean did for her books are nothing short of phenomenal and I highly recommend the entire Earth Children Series if you have not read it.

3. Superstitious?

Nah, not really.

4. Are you afraid of the dark or do you chase the things that go bump when the lights are out?

With the exception of certain bugs, I am the one who chases away all the things that go bump in the night. I am a creature of the night for sure!

5. Done any skinny dipping lately? Ever? 

Lately? No, I do not want to cause any fish or aquatic creature any mental trauma, I am not so sure that they have therapists down there to help them unsee what they might have seen LOL. In the past I have gone a handful of times!

6.  What makes you go "DAMN!" when you look at an attractive person?

On males, long hair, muscular ( but not crazy steroid buff ) arms and legs, and some well placed tattoos. On a female, usually longer hair, kind of punk rock look, with great legs, preferably in sexy heels, but I am also attracted to the "Earthy" types as well. That is more of an attitude thing more so than looks however. A sexy and confident attitude can make anyone look hot to me!

7. What do you know about Witches?

That there are good ones and bad ones, just like everyone else. Which Witch is Which? Lol..

8. Environmentally friendly or environmentally terrorist? The last kind would get really pissed if others don't conserve water. 

Environmentally friendly, those that are the terrorist type make me run the other way.

9. Have you been in a strip club?

Several in fact lol...some good, some sleazy. If twirling around on a pole in your undies or less feeds your kids better than working at the fast food restaurant, more power to ya.  It is your body, flaunt it if you got it!

10. What was the last book you read?

I am currently re-reading Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley. (I think that is how to spell her name!) I read it years ago, but I currently own all the Avalon series, and read them in chronological order ( when they take place in a timeline, not the order they were written )  and in keeping with the series I am reading it again as I am sure there are some parts I have forgotten!

So there they are! Thanks again to Mags for bestowing me with the award, I am very honored! Again, if you want to snag her questions, or even write 10 of your own, feel free!

So I think that about sums up what has been going on in my life. I am hopefully going out for the first time in two years with two old friends of mine next weekend, so I am pretty excited about that, and will post about it when it happens!

Hope everyone is having a great week so far!